The phone ran for the first time and Jim thought, "Finally! The time has come!"
He was going to meet Ivan and hopefully get his hand son more G-Juice!
He needed it badly, so did Jo.
Jim's hands were shaking from the whiskey the previous evening. He needed some of the good stuff to calm him down.
'Ivan wants to see us, well he want to see me but we can still go together for safety reasons,' said Jim.
'What do you think he is a dangerous man?'
'Well I don't trust him. He's a Doctor after all! he might have some dangerous equipment in his briefcase. You know what I mean? One of those horrible little knives they use to cut people up.'
'You mean a scalpel blade?'
'Well done Jo! That's what I meant. A scalpel blade! He might be carrying one of those things.'
'But he's not a surgeon. He's a Doctor. I should know because my Dad was a surgeon.'
'Stop getting all political with me Jo!" Jim snapped. 'I am not interested in the technicalities between a surgeon or a damn Doctor. We don't know this Ivan very well and that makes him a dangerous man. So we'll go together and if he tries anything dodgy we will beat him up. Got it? If we have to beat him up we will need to see if he is carrying any G-Juice and then steal it. Got it?'
'Yeah I think I do,' said Jo. 'So this is the plan: We meet the Doctor, beat him up if he attacks us and then steal the G-Juice?'
'That's it,' Jim returned. 'Now tidy yourself up. We are going right now. We don't want to keep the good doctor waiting.'
Absolutely not.
And so off they went.
Ivan said he would be waiting in the alley behind Ted's dodgy shop.
'Ivan is going to meet us behind Ted's shop,' said Jim to Jo.
Jo asked his friend about Ted. 'Never heard of him before,' I have never heard of him before.
'O I met him once and that was enough,' Jim replied. 'He tried to sale me a broken television. He's utterly mad.'
'But he has managed to build a business so he can't be that crazy?' said Jo.
'O trust me he is,' Jim returned.
Man of his word Ivan was waiting for them in the alley at the back.
'Greetings gentlemen,' he said. 'Nice to see you both again, and in good health as well. Very good. So you are probably both wondering why I wanted to meet you here? Well let me explain. So you like G-Juice? I see you both nodding your heads. Good. Now listen to this. I used to brew the juice according to a special recipe I formulated many years ago. I supplied you with the juice at the subway because I wanted to observe how people would react to its effects. You were my guinea pigs, if you will. I hope you don't mind.'
'No problem,' Jim replied. 'Though I think Jo is more of a lab rat...'
'Rats are more intelligent than guinea pigs so I will take that as a compliment,' Jo returned.
Jim laughed at this and then turned to Ivan and said, 'We are both happy to be guinea pigs again. Supply us with the juice and we will drink it very happily.'
Ivan broke both Jim and Jo's heart then and told them that he could not supply them with any fresh G-Juice. He went on to explain:
'My old laboratory was closed down three weeks ago. I lost the lease on the place and was evicted by the authorities. It is the reason why I have not been able to continue producing my product. The shop is closed and the taps have run dry, as the saying goes in Fenwick. I see the sad and desperate expressions on your faces, but fear not! The operation is not completely over, not yet. Before I was driven out of my laboratory I had time to snatch some of my equipment, and most important, I saved all my notes.'
'Well that is good isn't it?' said Jim. 'You've got the recipe and still have the equipment. Sounds to me like you are still in business.'
'I need a work space,' Ivan told him. 'Am I supposed to brew G-Juice in the streets? The police would lock me up if I ever dared to try such a thing.'
Jim asked Ivan if he had a plan and Ivan replied:
'Indeed I do. I think I have found the perfect place to continue my operation.'
But obviously there was a problem.
'I have hired a room inside the Rits,' Ivan continued. 'There is enough space for me to do my work. The only problem is that you are not welcome there.'
Jim said it as true. 'I have been banned from the place,' Jim explained. 'Mr Rits thinks I am having an affair with his wife, for some reason. Even stranger his wife thinks we are having an affair as well. It's madness. I have never met either of them before. My only guess is that they are both crazy people.'
'I have figured out a way to get you inside the building but it will be a hassle,' said Ivan. 'But if you go along with my plan it will ensure that you will both continue to enjoy drinking G-Juice.'
'We are ready to hear your plan,' said Jim eagerly, rubbing his hands together. Jo was practically on his knees begging to. hear the plan.
'You will need masks. You can buy them in Ted's Dodgy shop over there,' said Ivan.
'Sure fine. Masks. But we don't have any money,' Jim replied.
'You don't need any money. Just tell Ted you need masks, and if he asks questions say this to him: we know what you did on Sunday the seventeenth, and then wink with you left eyelid. He will know what you mean even if you don't, and you will get your masks.'
Jim nodded. He was ready to do what needed to be done.
'When you get the masks put them on before entering the hotel,' said Ivan. 'Mr and Mrs Rits won't know who you are. But I will be at the entrance waiting for you. I will tell them that you are my friends, and then I will invite you to my room and you will reply by nodding your heads. You won't speak. I don't want you two to give away the game. Do you understand?'
'Right sure. Okay Jo let's go.'
So Jo and Jim left Ivan in the alley and made there way over to Ted's shop.
When they entered the shop a bell rang, and then Ted bounced over his desk and blew into a rusty old horn. 'Welcome my friends!' he cried triumphantly. 'You are both welcome and welcome you both are. I want my shop to serve you as a second home!'
'That's very kind,' said Jim.
But before Jim could ask about the masks Ted had scooped him and Jo up in his great arms and started drivelling, talking right at them and not given them a chance to get a single syllable out.
'Alright lads!' said Ted, 'now would any of you fine fellows be interested in a deck chair? Here have a look at this one. Don't worry about that hole, you can still sit on it so long as you make sure you sit on it back to front... or upside down. Not interested I see by the look in your eyes! O well. There's more to see. How about this table! Have a look! The legs are sold separately, but I can make you a good offer on them as well.'
'No we are not interested in any of that,' said Jim.
Ted heard this and affected an 'O' shape with his mouth. 'So that's how it is going to be hey?' said Ted. 'Going to play silly beggars, eh? When men are tight with their purses I am tight with men, and my door will be tight as well when it finally closes behind you both! I most totally disagree with disagreeable fellows such as you two!'
'Listen for a second Ted you have not heard what we want yet,' said Jim.
Ted stood back with shock: 'So you do actually want to buy something?' The man was stunned! Maybe it was his lucky day after all. His first customers in over a week and his first sale in over a month, since he bought himself a packet of mints. Marvellous stuff indeed! He was positively brimming with excitement!
Jim told Ted that he needed two masks.
Just as Jim thought Ted immediately started talking about money, and so Jim cut the man short and pulling the man to one side he said this to him:
'We know what you did on Sunday the seventeenth,' and then Jim winked accordingly with his left eye.
After hearing this Ted started sweating like a pig, and with fingers quivering feebly began unbuttoning his collar. 'Two masks coming right up!' he said with a tremouring voice.
He leaped over his desk, and leaped back two seconds later, and with hands trembling away he gave Jim the two masks. He then begged them to leave his shop, which they promptly did.
It was time to examine their prize!
They were two very ugly and interesting masks indeed:
A hare and a pig; very fetching. Then Jo and Jim started arguing over which one they were going to wear, but in the end Jim gave in and agreed to be the pig.
'Okay,' said Jim after the argument was over, 'Let's make our way over to the Rits. There's some G-Juice waiting to be drunk!'
(All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
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