I have recently adopted the idea that we are inside some kind of video game - or holographic world.
Everything is made up out of atoms.
But there exists nothing inside of the atom.
Therefore there is no such thing as anything being physical.
And when nothing is solid then nothing is really there.
We are living in a dream.
You, I, the world, are an illusion and we've kidded ourselves into thinking it is the only thing.
I think it's an awful tragedy and a waste when someone takes life seriously.
Don't take it seriously.
Laugh at it! In all things laugh.
When the game kicks you down, and spits in your face, don't stand but sit on the ground and close your eyes and laugh because none of it is there.
We come and go, we rise and fall, but whatever must befall, the game won't get me!
So don't take it seriously.
Open your heart.
Who are you?
Be that that thing you crave. All that you need to do us to believe.
Breath Positive in and out.
Let it into you - the good thoughts, hold them, plant them, let them take flower in your soul.
We are all one like an ocean. One. Right now we are a point of attention in that ocean - a ripple, a glint of sunlight, but in the end the ripples and the reflections blend together - because we will always be the ocean - ONE with it and complete.
But when we enter this video game universe we get this idea that we are this one singular thing - and we eventually grow obsessed with the labels we have created. We say "I am this and that and I am so important."
If life was visible it would be a dance.
The plants, trees, water the air, all these things sway - like a they are caught up in a great rhythm.
And that is life.
So dance then!
Be happy. Sing! Forget the burdens you carry for they are not real.
It's all a game.
All a game....
Put doubt into a pretend box and cast it out of a window.
You are not an outsider, you are ONE with the world - you are life - like the tree, like the stone, like the water. Like the air. They all move in unison. Move with them then. Be not afraid. Live like life- like the water that flows. Put the life of the sun and the earth in your heart.
Every star is beautiful.
So is every living thing.
Be happy that you are part of that cosmic empire.
You can take an
illiterate 30 year old man, a man with the mind of 18 year old, who
can barely utter a few sentences outside of a mumble, a man whose
only talent appears to be his ability to holler curses, vulgar and
distasteful, with a brain span of about five minutes, you can take
that man body and soul and transform him into a poet in about five
- Give or take.
Here is the trick…
Lock him in an
Give him only food
Never speak to
Never see him.
Leave him with
nothing except himself.
In the years to
follow that man will pass through four stages:
Before he entered
the room he had no dreams.
Now he lives in
Now he feeds not
on bread and water, but on his mind, on his soul.
He feeds on
nourishment from his mind.
Now he is a poet –
and an artist like no other one Earth!
He had it all…
His own business.
A good sized
Lots of land.
A swimming pool.
Plenty of money
and plenty of enemies…
“I am like a
piece of meat in a pool full of piranhas,” he told the reporters.
And they came for
him, those piranhas and they ate him to the bone…
‘I’ve got to
get out of this damn country.’
‘But my dear
friend there is a way,’ said Silus. ‘I have given you the way
long ago but you have ignored me. You could afford to ignore me back
in the day. You can’t anymore. Will you listen to me?’
As far as hope was
concerned Greg was a starving man – a cornered rat stuck at a dead
end, a man with no options. He agreed to listen.
‘Five years ago
I took ten thousand dollars with me to the Philippines, married a
local girl and became a citizen. I bought a house and a car. Ten
thousand dollars in the Philippines makes you a very rich man. You
can buy anything you want. You can live like a king!’
Greg sat listening
intently to his friend.
Silus had this
voice that sounded so convincing. He could make you believe in
anything! If he told you he had found a way to turn ordinary rocks
into golden nuggets you would believe his word without question.
‘DO you know
what else I did with my money? I built a studio. I display art. I
love art as you know. Underground art. Dark art. It’s my thing.
I have purchased many of the works of Sgt Baroos, and Gier Toffman.
Their works are like the interior of a complex brain. When I think
of the inside of a brain, and of course I refer to human imagination,
I imagine a huge house with a spiral staircase inside going up and
down forever. That is what I say in the dark swirls of their art.’
His passion was
He made the life
he lived abroad sound like a perfect little dream.
Greg wanted a
slice of it!
Greg decided to
stab his friend with a question.
‘How much do you
think I would need to become a citizen and settle down?’
‘How much money
can you get your hands on right now?’
‘I’ve got two
thousand. That’s all.’
enough,’ said Silus. ‘That’s about twenty thousand. If you
are that keen to go, then you can leave with me. I’m catching a
plane in two weeks once I have finished business here. You can stay
in my studio. You will have upkeep – but don’t worry about that
too much. I am not interested in money. But there will be one or
two tasks I will want you to carry out.’
To the ears of a
desperate man like Greg the offer sounded too awesome to decline.
His friend was
willing to put him up in his studio rent free!
So he would have a
few tasks to carry out?
afraid of hard work.
So he accepted the
‘Then mu friend
when you return to the Philippines I will go with you!’
And so the date
was set and the deed was done.
journey saw him flying halfway across the world to the city of
From there they
took flight to the archipelago of Milas, and then after a five hour
trip inside this tight little vehicle the locals called a Jeepney
they made for the local town of Malatas.
But this was not
the end of the journey.
It was time to do
They left Malatas
on foot, heading in the direction of a great rise in the land.
Silus pointed to
the hilltop and said to Greg, ‘That is where I live! Let us make
It was a long and
dirty journey which lasted three days.
All Greg could
think in all those days of hiking was how far off the beaten track
Why weren’t they
following a road or a path?
Why were they
cutting their way through the wilderness?
Surely there had
to be a safer swifter route to home?
But finally the
shrubbery subsided and they saw it!
The villa, stood
against the warm blue sky – tranquil among the trees like a
This was the home
of Silus. They had finally reached their destination!
Silus stood at the
doorstep and said to Greg, ‘Let me welcome you to my abode. My
home is now yours. It is good to have a new worker living here with
When Greg stood on
the balcony and saw, properly, for the first time, the scene of
turquoise sea, and green flecked islands, Greg truly felt he had made
the right decision to flee his country.
He felt in his
heart that he had found some kind of redemption.
It was like his
worries were finally over!
appeared from the back room, and stood at his side on the balcony.
He was sipping whiskey while letting his eyes fly across the gorgeous
view. ‘I often wonder why I live here,’ he said. ‘Then after
a few months in England, I return and then I am reminded why I chose
to plant my roots here. My hotel in London has a window looking upon
a sight filled with block after block of gargantuan stone. Each
window block has a thousand windows with a thousand eyes looking out
in all directions. I see them, looking all about and yet looking at
nothing, because there is nothing to actually see out of those
windows. There’s just a lot of noise, that’s all. A lot of
noise that drums inside the skull. It drums away inside endlessly
without stop. It never loses energy because it is constantly supping
away at the essence of your soul. You grow sick without knowing it.
Then I stand on this balcony, see that view right here, see the real
world, and I am cured. It’s the same for you right now I imagine,
Greg? You didn’t realise you were sick a few days ago but I
imagine that you do now? Don’t worry about it. Breathe in that
air. Relax! You are finally free! Enjoy the cure. See the world
as it is. This is your new life now.’
Greg breathed it
Good times were
His soul breathed
lightly and his heart was glad.
Silus patted Greg
on the shoulder. ‘Time to get to work,’ he whispered.
‘Yes I am ready
to earn my keep,’ said Greg.
‘I am glad you
understand the score between us,’ Silus replied. ‘I helped you,
and now you will help me. Tit for tat if you will.’
‘I am ready to
work,’ said Greg. ‘You got me out of nasty mess. You have given
me a new life in this country far away from any of my old enemies. I
am in certainly in your debt.’
For some reason
the smile made Greg feel uncomfortable.
He didn’t know
Silus had the look
Greg had never
seen his friend hold such a look before.
Now Greg started
to think very deeply about things.
Lots of thoughts
were racing around inside his head.
How long had he
He didn’t know!
Did he know him
enough to trust him?
Did he trust him
Had Greg agreed to
pack up and leave abroad with Silus because he was panicking?
Had he really
thought any of this through?
That was all the
voice in his head screamed:
NO NO NO!
this is not right!
‘You are indeed
in my debt very much so,’ Silus replied. ‘And all debts must be
paid in full. That is the policy in my house. As long as you
understand this, Greg, we will get along quite well.’
Greg retired with
those words in his head – “You are in my debt. All debts must be
paid in full. Understand this, Greg.”
This new sense of
dread kept stinging his conscious mind.
shake the feeling that he was in trouble.
arrived, hot and humid and full of the sounds of birds and beasts,
and Greg was called into the living room.
There Silus told
him that he had a task ready for him to complete.
Greg was so tired
but he agreed to go along with things.
must be done?’
Silus called for
his Filipino servant Penchy Gisborn. The dwarf stepped into the room
bowing before his master, but as he swept Greg by he gave the man a
strange dark look.
addressed Penchy directly:
‘Penchy! Let me
introduce you to Greg. He is your servant from now on. He is to be
put to work in the fields. You will oversee his labour, and provide
additional tasks if need.’
master,’ said Penchy.
Penchy looked at
Greg and sneered. ‘You are my servant now, boy.’
‘You are free to
beat the man if you feel it is necessary,’ said Silus, to Greg’s
surprise, he spoke that sentence quite casually to his dwarf servant.
Silus farm grew
were full of busy people jostling and shouting, buying and selling.
It was loud and
Greg was quite out
of his depth.
Penchy stood next
to Greg laughing.
He was enjoying
Greg’s discomfort. He held a stick up to Greg’s throat. ‘I
expect you to sell fifty coconuts by the days end, or I feed you to komodo dragon!’
And he laughed O
my how he laughed!
All Greg could in
that situation was panic…
And he sol no
tutted, and started to shake his head.
punishment time for you my boy,’ he said.
Greg’s heart was
in his mouth!
had this dwarf in mind for him?
Just the thought
of this alone was too terrible for him to bear.
Greg tried to
plead his case to the dwarf.
started. ‘I am new to this and I don’t know what to do! At
least train me? Tell me what to do! We can start again tomorrow.’
‘I give no
second chances to you,’ Penchy replied. ‘Punishment will do you
good! I punish you right away!’
Penchy took a very
forlorn Greg towards a barn full of giant snakes!
Greg counted at
least ten of these terrifying reptiles.
‘You will sleep
here for the night,’ Penchy told him. ‘I will lock the gate and
you will stay here with these beasts, in the dark!’
‘But they will
‘You will fight!
Penchy fight snakes! Penchy work alone on the coconut farm. Snakes
attack me all the time. And dragons! They attack me. They try to
kill me. But Penchy fight. I have scars,’ he rolled up his
sleeves and showed the great scars on his arms.
His index finger
had been severed by a giant lizard.
He revealed that
his left leg was made of wood – a crocodile had at him, but Penchy
, versatile slippery Penchy, escaped the iron grip of the monsters
‘My right eye is
made of glass see,’ he said to Greg.
Greg saw the fake
The eye was red,
like a lunar eclipse.
attack! Penchy alone. Fight the beast. It take out my eye. But
Penchy does not run. Penchy bight with teeth, like a savage. Penchy
win. Penchy live to speak another day. Penchy work hard on Lord
Silus farm. Penchy bleed for Lord Silus. Now you bleed for Penchy!
‘I beg you not
to do this to me!’
But Penchy wasn’t
He had no mercy in
his heart for Greg.
‘You go in barn
Greg was no going
inside that barn.
Not for anything.
But where could he
He was alone and
lost in a land that was alien to him.
And Penchy knew
It was not long
before Penchy found him, collapsed, exhausted, and shaking with
together a few of his boys and they carried Greg back home.
There, in his
house on the hill surrounded by the beautiful turquoise sea, Silus
He was not happy
He was holding a
glass of wine in his hand, and poured the contents out on Gregs head.
‘You are a fool
Greg,’ he said. ‘I expected more from you.’
‘I don’t know
how to sell coconuts! And I can’t fight snakes! Come on man! You
IN a fit of anger
Silus snapped, and tossing his wine glass onto the floor he grabbed
Greg by the hair of his head and pulled the man’s left ear to his
Then he hissed,
Ungrateful dog! I take you in. Save you from the lone sharks after
you the money lenders sold the loan they gave you. They were going
to gut you like a fish if they got their hands on you. You would be
dead now if it wasn’t for my generous heart giving you a second
chance at life. I gave you so much! A roof over your head and good
food and drink! All I asked was that you worked for these goodly
things I have given you. I give you good honest work so that you had
the chance to repay me! Is that too much to ask? I believed in you
Greg! I had hopes in you. And then you ran away from me. Damn you!
Poor Penchy had to send his men to hunt you half way across the
island. They walked miles, so that they could find you and drag you
back to me like so worthless animal. You cost me time, Greg, and
like in all business time is money.’
Silus let go of
Gregs hair, and walking to the other side of the room he sighed. ‘I
will pay you back now, Greg, for the time you have cost me. I will
pay you back double for the money I have lost today.’
Silus turned to
Penchy the dwarf and nodded his head.
He had given him a
‘Throw him in
the pit. We will see how long he lasts without food water or
like some demon of old, and gleefully snatched Greg up with his arms,
and with strength that seemed almost impossibly inhuman for a man of
Penchy’s small stature, carried Greg over to the edge of the pit,
and through the man down into the darkness!
When Greg reached
the bottom of the pit he hit his head on the hard ground and fell
Penchy stood there
at the edge, and spar on Greg. ‘You try to climb up again boy and
I beat you freely. I beat you till your legs fall off! Haha!’
like a mad dog before retreating into the darkness beyond.
So there was Greg at
the bottom of the pit, trapped in the dark alone.
It was the worst
kind of situation anyone could find themselves.
When Greg finally
awoke, opening his eyes to see absolutely nothing, he panicked!
Was this some kind
Then his memory
came slowly sliding back and then he saw it all and knew where he
It was the end of
the road, Greg knew it.
He felt so
Why had he trusted
He asked himself
that question again and again.
There was only one
He had been
Utterly stupid and
now he was paying the price.
A harsh price but
that was just the way of the world.
No second chances.
Make one mistake
and you’re finished.
Days would go by.
Food was thrown
down to him from above. So Silus still wanted to keep him alive.
understand why this was so.
Why torture him in
such a way?
Why leave him to
rot in the dark for such a long time.
made sense anymore.
After a few weeks
Greg stopped trying to understand.
He’s lot now was
That was it.
More weeks went
by, and then something strange happened.
The despair that
Greg felt evaporated.
He had grown used
to the darkness.
After another few
weeks he actually began to feel that he rather liked it.
At least at the
bottom of the pit, with constant food being thrown down to him, he
had nothing to worry about!
And then after the
passing of more time, now weeks months and years had become one, Greg
made a friend in the dark.
remember how they started talking.
It felt like his
new friend had always been there, not just in the pit, but with him
at his side on his journey of life all along.
He just hadn’t
bothered to say ‘hi,’ not until the pit – and well now there
was no one else to speak to, so he might as well speak up to the
friendly soul he shared the darkness with.
He was called the
Face of Fate.
‘How long do you
intend to stay in the pit?’ said The Face.
‘I thought that
much about it,’ Greg replied. ‘As long as I have to I suppose.’
Then The Face
asked him some questions.
‘Do you want to
‘I don’t know.
I don’t know what being free is.’
‘Do you feel
like a prisoner?’
‘All the time.
Even before the pit I felt like I was in a cage. I couldn’t go
anywhere. I had enemies on all sides. I don’t think I can be
‘Do you like
being a prisoner?’
‘I don’t like
it. It’s just there is nothing I can do about it.’
And The Face asked
Greg once more:
‘Do you want to
This time Greg
‘I can help
you,’ said The Face.
‘Can you free me
from the pit?’
‘I can free you
‘I will help
you, Greg. But you must help yourself first. Are you willing to let
go of everything you know to be real?’
‘Nothing is real
to me anymore,’ Greg replied.
‘Open your mind,
Greg. Let me enter your brain – and the journey will begin.’
‘How do I do
‘Lie down and
relax,’ said The Face. ‘Think about NOTHING! Just relax. Let
all thoughts fly away!’
When Greg opened
his eyes again he saw a thousand million colours…
That is to say
Colours going on
forever into the abyss so that even the abyss was full of colour.
Colours that had
Colour had no
meaning in this land.
It was almost too
much for Greg to bear, to begin with, but the Face of Fate was there
to pick him up and guide him.
said The Face.
And Greg followed
The Face, by many strange twists of vibrant Gloon and Cherry Splasm
Bloor, up jewelled stairways of shining Floorshell, by lakes of
glistening Tollandon, and by ravines filled with screams of banshees
toiling in the red and yellow waves of Embriscien.
reached a precipice, the edge of the great blue Mountain of Gond, the
end of their journey. The Face of Fate turned and around and said to
Greg, ‘Are you ready to breath in the power of this world?’
‘I am ready for
anything,’ Greg replied.
friend Greg,’ said The Face, speaking in a solemn voice. ‘You
have a good heart. Your heart will affect the power you wield. You
will wield the power for good. And in turn you will do much that is
good in time. But you must know that it cannot last, for there
cannot be good without evil. The balance cannot be broken. One
cannot be at all without the other.
‘You cannot have
red without blue.
‘You cannot have
stars without human minds to write them.
without pain. No life without death. And no death without life.’
said Greg. ‘I am ready for the power.’
‘Are you ready
to wield the power forever?’
‘Why are you
‘Because I know
that everything in the universe is one, a circle. Nothing ever
And The Face of
Fate cried – ‘And so thou shalt wield the power!’
A streak of bright
green light flowed into Greg’s eyes.
The power was
leaking into his brain. Greg could feel the power flow from his mind
into all his sinews. It melted his whole body into a pool of slime,
and then out of the puddle pulled him back up and reshaped him from
the liquid into something new.
‘Greg you were
but now no longer!’ said The Face of Fate. ‘Now you live and
breathe as the Amazing Mr Carnival Man!’
Inside a streak of
living lightning he returned to the world.
Greg no more.
Now Mr Carnival
He looked at
himself in the reflection of a lake.
Now he was a
creature from another world!
He was a jester,
with spikes, and wings, and elfin features. Beautiful and
And he could move
like a bird, but he also felt like had the strength of a typhoon, and
that he could pull up trees!
He could be here
there and anywhere in a streak of lightning.
‘Silus I will
find you!’ he cried into the sky.
He found Silus, in
his office, with Penchy and three other shady characters – business
strangers fled in terror, jumping out of windows!
Penchy hid in a
corner, and was shaking like a frightened puppy.
Carny looked down at
the frightened dwarf – but could not find it in himself to take
action against the man. He felt only pity for him. As evil as the
man was his cruelty had never been plucked out of desire. The little
man had found himself in that dark place by following a long and sad
road of trauma and hardship.
Carny looked into
the dwarf’s heart and saw this.
He felt the
So Carny forgave
‘I forgive you
Penchy. Go now! Return to your family. Make haste afore I change
my mind and remember the evils you did me!’
Penchy fled in
terror and was never seen again.
Now that Penchy
was dealt with Carny turned his bright eyes to Silus, the man who had
really been behind all his troubles and pains.
The man who had
tricked and betrayed him.
The man who had
left him to rot and go mad inside the darkness of the pit.
It was time to
have revenge and deal justice to the villain!
Carny could see
fear in the eyes of his enemy.
He had never
before seen Silus look this way.
His face had
become a mask of terror.
understood the shape of things: his evil actions, deeds that had made
him powerful, now struck back like a viper - the universe had turned
its back on him. The sun and the moon that had once danced to his
tune had sunk into the hills and now he was stooping beneath the
shadow of the Amazing Mr Carnival Man.
become of me?’ he said.
Carny knew already
what he was going to do long before the man asked.
And so Carny
replied, ‘I will deal with you as you dealt with me.’
He grabbed Silus
by the throat and drawing him to the edge of the pit, ‘Know thy
evil with thine own eyes,’ and with one stroke of his hand he threw
the man into the deep dark hole.
Carny stood still
and waited for the screams of his enemy to end, and then walked away.
He had defeated
his enemies, but there was something in his heart that began speaking
to him, relentlessly pouring words in his mind. When he looked into
himself he saw that it was not once voice that was talking to him
inside his soul, but thousands of voices, in song, singing in unison.
Like a thousand birds singing with the arrival of the sun, a
thousand songs were playing in and around the harpsichord of his
There were no
particular words being used inside the soul at the centre of his
soul, but Carney felt that he understood what the song was all about.
He was needed in
the wide open world.
There was still
more work to do.
And so he set out,
striking suddenly like lighting whenever there was any kind of evil
no matter how small, how great and terrible, The Amazing Mr Carnival
Man was there to smite, drive out and to avenge.
He was everywhere
at every time, a stream of purity and hope being continuously
transfused into a nearly deceased planet.
When the Earth had
been plucked out of the slime of destruction, polished off and put
back on the shelf beside the other planets, The Amazing Mr Carnival
man sat aside the sun, somewhere warm and bright, so that he could
look back on the world, and it was safe, and have some much needed
The Amazing Mr
Carnival Man slouched on his bed of eternal ebony, looking about at
the stars and planets he sighed and thought: “My work is done.”
Then the Face of
Fate appeared, above, below, in all directions its voice spoke. ‘It
is never done!’ it said.
After that Carny
spent seven months meditating on the moon. While he sat ruminating
on that great rock, The Face of Fate appeared again, and started
speaking out of the abyss.
He told Carny a
This was it:
‘I found Silus
in the pit. I trained him as I trained you. Now he has emerged from
the pit and has in his hands the same powers like you, only he
carries the shadow fully in his heart, and so great evil is flowing
through him and out of him. You must face him now! You will meet
him on the field of stars where the ultimate battle will be fought.’
So Carny heard out
the words of the Face of Fate, and looking up into the dark he cried
out in a voice that echoed in the corners of ten thousand stars:
‘Then I shall meet him and we shall do battle on the fields of
And so the Amazing
Mr Carnival Man set out into the stars to confront his old foe.
The battle lines
were drawn between the two powers between the giant gas giant
Jupiter, and the invisible volcanic orb known by the Zhenevellian
Sprites as the Nor Bela – Eye of the Abyss.
At the foothills
of the burning mountains of Nor Bela, Silus came forth ready for the
He had been
brooding many long days while down inside the pit, stewing in a pool
of venom, dreaming about revenge, till the Face of Fate gave him the
power to try and take it.
And so there he
was. Silus, with the power of evil flowing right through him.
He was as great
and might as a mountain, dark than space, and his eyes burned with a
fury far greater than the heart of a new-born star.
They met in the
jaws of eternal doom, between the great peeks of dark energy and they
wrestled like two great storm clouds.
Back and forth
But they could not
defeat each other.
They just went
around and around.
“I cannot beat
Then Carny thought, “There is no point in this!”
And so he sat
continued to attack him, but he could do nothing.
Carny just sat
Silus saw that
there was no point in fighting his enemy, so he simply gave up and
withdraw into the darkness. He was out there, in the shadow, but he
did not strike back with violence.
They both realised
the fight was futile
Neither was going
to win – one power was never going to better the other.
So they kept
apart, but still remained in the universe.
‘Why could I not
beat him?’ said Cany, looking down into the flow of endless
‘You can never
defeat each other,’ the Face of Fate explained. ‘One for all and
all for one, but not one without the other. That is impossible.
There must be two, always two. Not one mightier than the other, but
in balance. That is what you have seen today. Rest now, make camp
in the field of stars, and be ready for the journey that will take
you around the world back here again – to the point in the universe
where all things and anything is real. Be at peace! Live. Dream.
Walk. Rest. Sleep. This is your journey!’
Carny heard the
words of his mentor, and breathed out a great gust of air, that
eventually swept over the world, to be breathed in again by a billion
other living things.