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Friday, 14 August 2026

Bear In The Night.

Welcome to the laboratory!

Let the fun begin...

We have two fun characters to begin with let me give you their names:

Pete

Sendrick

AND SO WE BEGIN...

Pete: Ah you have returned! Welcome back old friend! You will be pleased to know that the experiment is over - thank goodness. Are you ready to start our observations?

Sendrick: Isn't that what I am programmed to do? Ha! Just joking. Of course I am ready. I am looking forward to it! How are you by the way?

Pete: O! You know me! Same old - same old. Ah! Same old songs, same old films... same old games - I used to love all of that stuff! Such a shame I can't dance anymore - shame I can't hear music either. But ah well! At least I am still breathing, hey, that is the main thing or so people keep on telling me. I envy you, Sendrick! You can turn yourself off. But ah well! Maybe with time I will enjoy the luxury of gloom. Ha! Gloom in a room! Ah well. Such is... such is... Anyway. Here is our boy the TEST! (looking at TEST who enters the room) I forget your name, we get so many souls in here, so I am just going to call you TEST. How are you feeling TEST?

TEST: (stammering - shacking) I... I don't know...

Pete: Can you see me? Can you hear my voice? Good! Then let us start. Did you follow through with what you had to do?

TEST: Yes...

Pete: How do you feel now that the deed has been done?

TEST: I... I...

Pete: Speak!

TEST: I am afraid...

Pete: Come on you coward! We gave you the once in a lifetime opportunity to rid the world forever of one man. Just one man! We gave you permission. You wanted to do it. You asked for this. Now it is done. It is over with no consequence on you. You should be relieved. You told us yourself you hated the man! You told us the story you told us that he made your life a living hell. Well now by your hand he is gone. You did this. You got the job done. Now you are free. He will not be bothering you ever again. Now you are crying? I can see tears in your eyes... I don't understand you. You should be happy? Why aren't you happy? Speak! Your reaction makes no sense. Sendrick make notes... TESTS reactions make NO sense!

Sendrick: Make notes sir.

TEST: I... I am ashamed. I put the metal... in his mouth... his teeth popped out everywhere. He screamed. I wanted to stop. But he would not stop screaming. I had to hit him to stop him from screaming. With time he went quiet and then I stopped. After that there was no more screaming.

Pete: And now how do you feel?

TEST: I feel like screaming!

Pete: You can go!

(TEST leaves the scene)

Pete: Step up Sendrick! It is now time for you to do what you have been programmed to do! I need you to follow him. Watch him... Return when you have new information.

(Sendrick nods and leaves. He returns three days later. He has information).

Sendick: I followed him. I watched him.

Pete: So? How was he? How did he behave after the experiment?

Sendrick: Well! I will start by saying this:

I saw him walk in the streets,

Like a bear in the night,

Like a bear in the night.

There was something swift that moved in his feet,

Like a bear in the night

Like a bear in the night.

He just seemed to move with glee,

Like a bear in the night

Like a bear in the night.

He didn't need no company,

Like a bear in the night

Like a bear in the night.

I saw his hands and they were red,

Like a bear in the night

Like a bear in the night.

He had a look that looked quite dead,

Sure he was dead,

Sure he was dead.

Roses are red, passions are dead.

Bloody red hand and tooth came into sight,

Like a bear in the night

Like a bear in the night.

It really was quite an ugly sight...

LIKE A BEAR IN THE NIGHT!
LIKE A BEAR IN THE NIGHT!

Was the experiment a success or not? It is up to YOU to decide the answer!

THE END

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Tuesday, 11 August 2026

Glorious Defeat

I remember the lights.

There they are again - what thing:

Swirling like a dream, o yes, like a summer beam, in the trees shimmer please, let the birds please with songs so sweet... sweet songs sing of things done and forever done - things that will forever be - within and without, forever without doubt.

I saw the lights dancing around the figures, the figures were like little shadows from where I was, but I saw the lights, yes indeed I did I saw the lights, dancing around them I declare the lights were swirling with joy around the figures.

Such joy!

And then I heard the music - I saw it in their faces just as clear as I saw the wind in their hair, I do declare, I saw the wind in their hair. Add I heard the music, sweet in the air, and the light was dancing with it, and the figures were no longer shadows, but little faces, I do declare, little faces with wind in their hair with little faces full of colour like the colour that was dancing in the air.

The Sargent looked up and shouted, 'What are you doing sitting on the roof?'

I told him I liked the view, what about you?

He shouted nonsense.

I didn't listen.

Eventually I climbed down to stop his bellowing from echoing in my ears.

'Listen up you!' shouted he.

'I am listening,' said I.

The Sargent had this cluster of words for me to listen to:

'I have a job for you to do,' he started. 'Look down the hill. See the houses? The enemy might be there. BUT we don't know. So fire it up! That's your orders. Remember what you are fighting for! You are fighting for liberty. Now get out there and get on with it!'

Standing to attention I replied, 'I will do it! I will do it for freedom!'

And together our voices echoed in union like we were together in prayer - for freedom! We sang the word right into the air!

'I will do it for freedom,' said I.

'Good man,' said the Sargent and we soluted.

FOR FREEDOM.

For freedom yes. It was our cause.

So I stepped up and did what I had to do, and I blasted my fires right into the view.

FOR LIBERTY.

I returned to the roof. What a view what a view!

And then there were the lights and the dancers,

Still the little dancers with their little faces with the wind in their hair,

I do declare the wind was in their hair.

And all the colours as well,

Were there in the air,

So many colours.

And I heard the music and I saw the music in the lights,

The same lights I saw sparkling around the dancers,

The dancers with the little faces,

The faces where the wind,

- the wind -

O yes it was still dancing the fair air,

Yes,

It was still dancing

- I do declare -

It was still dancing in their hair...

THE END

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Saturday, 8 August 2026

If Streets Could Please

If streets could please, then please with ease, say yes. I would be pleased to be pleased by the streets...

But not yet.

Clippety Clop

Hear that sound?

CLIP CLOP

Whose around?

Just me and my thoughts.

Better not linger.

I have had my drink of vinegar so it's on with the boots and the coat and out into the race. Better quicken my pace, time to face what I have to face.

Onwards and onwards.

It was late.

The city was looking pretty - a desert bathed in dreams. Its dreams were all crumbling stone and tangled wire kissed by the moon. A forest of desire warped by work and dying quickly with the slow and meaningless caress of entropy.

I like to walk at night - out of sight.

It was my way.

No one to get in the way...

Except a friend or two...

CLIP CLOP

The night was the place for me to meet the people I actually liked.

So I turned a corner, following the ways of the dreaming desert.

And there was a shop home to dirt and memories.

And old Richard Banks, or just Rich for short. He would have invited me in if he needed to. I closed the door and sat on the stool. He offered me a glass of vinegar while eating his rice.

'Fine night for the moon,' said he. 'The old dream is looking fine tonight. I am glad to have these old walls behind and around me. Some of the homeless lads used a table they had stolen to ram a shop open a little ways down the road. Stole all the bread and beer!'

I heard his story out and chuckled grimly.

'Or they could just walk in through the door like me,' said I in the darkest voice I could muster.

'O I. And steal what exactly?' Rich chuckled in return. 'Anyway. Want some rice?'

I told him I liked to keep my stomach clear - silent guts kept things in shape for the vinegar to do its thing better. 'I will have a smoke though if you are offering.'

'Got work tomorrow?'

'Never do,' said I.

'Six hours till the sun beats the moon down!'

'I don't care about that,' said I. 'I always sleep when the sun is up. I haven't seen her glowing corpulent globe in years. Not since I lost the job at the docks - since then its been Joy paper and vinegar for me! And let me tell you Joy has swallowed a lot of paper lately, and I have certainly been swallowing a lot of vinegar too.'

'Ah! I walked passed your place two days ago, I think it was. So that is what you were doing? I heard a violent sound - the sound of thundering and drumming,' said Rich.

'My fingers are forever bleeding,' I replied. 'My plan was to write my way out of the dream. But now I write because I have to - the vinegar would eat my mind if my bloody fingers did not go beat beat beat all night through.'

'How is the work going?'

'Been writing about an odd thing - something that has been happening to me lately. I don't know if it is a dream or not - even though I do dream a lot. I blame the vinegar for that,' said I. 'I woke up once in the scorching heat of the sun sweating like an old soldier marching to war. Felt as weary as one too!'

'You told me you had never seen her corpulent face not since the dock days?' said Rich pointing out my folly.

I chuckled and juggled the stones in my belly with a glass of vinegar. 'I felt her anger that's all - my blinds were drawn. Nightmares are worse when you have them during the day, when you wake up in all the heat - when you hear the folks in the streets and kids playing and the dogs howling... O the noise! The noise. The heat. What a stew! Make for the most potent nightmares what say you?'

'Don't drink vinegar. That is what I say to you. So you are writing about your nightmares then?'

'I think so.'

'You either know or not. You can't have it both ways.'

CLIP CLOP

'One nightmare in particular,' said I. 'A true nightmare. A horse. It walks the streets and watches me as I sleep. A horse.'

'Sounds pretty darn creepy to me,' Rich replied. 'Maybe you should get some sleep.'

'If only I could! But sleep is for the mellow man. The vinegared man can never sleep - he can only dream and then dream of nightmares. Thanks for the drink. Good day to you Rich.'

CLIP CLOP

I spent the rest of that night spilling more blood on the keys.

And before the corpulent orb could show her glowing face I dived under the sheets.

All day I could not sleep.

It's eyes were watching me...

It was the horse!

At night I tried to write about it again, but the words would not step up.

There was no vinegar - all empty bottles about the feet of my bed.

So I chose instead to take out my coat, and my boats, and my old halloween mask...

The mask of a horse.

And dressed in such a way I crossed the broken dream of man till I reached the shop of Richard Banks, and I walked right in on him and he leapt from his chair screaming, throwing his drink and his rice into the air!

'Gave you I fright did I Rich? Like how I am dressed? Like my face?' said I to the frightened man cowering behind the counter. 'Ha! And to think I did all of that without being drunk!'

I took off the mask and laughed at him.

The wonders of sobriety!

Indeed my life must be improving!

That night I was a better man.

If streets could please then say yes o please, with ease, let them please.

(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

For more adventures set in the town of Fenwick check out:

IT HAPPENS AT NIGHT

JIM'S SUBWAY

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Friday, 7 August 2026

How a seal ended up serving at His Majesty's pleasure

This is a normal story about a normal seal and how he ended up being detained at his Majesty's pleasure...

There was once a seal who lived down by the coast - a great big cheery lump of blubber named affectionately by the locals Bill - because Bill rhymes with seal... see?

Bill was a hopeless feckless bungling creature, forever rolling around, blocking roads and breaking fences. A true nightmare! But everyone loved him because he was extremely entertaining to have around. He would make strange barking sounds and was very clever at playing little pieces of music with a whistle that he had recovered one day while far out at sea.

Bill was having a good time of it, enjoying a rather nice life - jumping about and whistling tunes. Things could have gone on like that forever, until the day came he met the wandering Frenchman Jean de Orléans.

Now if you thought Bill was an odd character with his whistle and bungling blubbery ways well let me tell you the seal had nothing and I mean NOTHING on Jean.

Jean was an absolute madman - a rollicking and rambling lunatic. A deeply unpopular character. Jean was spend all day making a pest of himself, harassing random people and getting into brawls with the local lads.

Jean was also a drunk to boot... People would often find him wobbling about with a half empty bottle of wine in his hand! His drunkenness only enhanced his unpopularity further.

There is this one story that tells of Jean wandering around the beach one day when he found a couple sunbathing on the sand. Jean walked right over and started emptying his dirty soggy boots all mover them explaining - 'Don't worry! Tis only water! And there is plenty of that around as you can plainly see!'

The couple were furious, and immediately made a complaint to the police.

The curious incident of the soggy boot got our boy Jean a few days locked up at his Majesty's pleasure, and made him a great enemy of Constable Maddox's, the fierce head of the police department, who always had his eye on the drunken Frenchman:

'I know you Jean!' said Maddox one day while out on patrol - Jean had been up to his old tricks chasing people around with soggy fish he had plucked out of the sea! 'You are a menace to society!' the constable went on. 'If I could find a way of getting you permanently locked up... O if only!'

Jean responded by taking off his boot and throwing a wet sock at the Constable!
The Constable gave chase but Jean just giggled and ran away!

Old rascal - he had a hiding place, you see! Down by the sea there was a cave and whenever Jean was in that cave the police could never find him (because they never ever thought to look there... for some bizarre reason. It was the ONLY place they never looked, and maybe, just MAYBE might be the place where he might be hiding - but ah o well).

Each day when in his cave Jean would prepare all of his tricks ready for a fresh spring of harassment! He would bathe his socks in the sea water so they were nice and soggy ready to be thrown at people! And he would collect fish and crabs because he liked to put them in peoples pockets when they were not looking...

This might all sound rather strange but it was just Jean's way!

And then one day our boy Jean, while out looking for crabs, stumbled upon the lump of blubber named Bill!

Bill looked Jean up and down and started barking at him.

Jean clapped his sides and exclaimed:

'My gosh! Dear seal! I understand what you are saying! I can understand your language! What a blessing hey?'

'Really?' said Bill. 'Well isn't that nice!'

Jean asked for the seals name and the seal gave it over freely and fully.

'Bill the seal hey?' said Jean curiously. 'It is good to be in the company of a fine beast like you. A beast who can understand me!'

'Indeed,' Bill replied. 'We are both damp and sea washed - yes! We have a lot in common plainly.'

Jean asked the seal if he liked to drink wine. The seal said no that he did not. Jean responded to this by making a strange O shape with his lips. Jean then asked the seal if he liked to smoke: 'I have a smoke for you if you would like to have one.'

Bill explained that he had never smoked anything before.

Jean patted Bill firmly on the head and said, 'You are a wise fellow! Now I have a plan! I want you to put on this old scarf and hat I have here. My mother knitted them back in the day! That's right! Put them on there's a good fellow! Ah yes! You look good dressed in that. Now we are going to go on a mission... We are going to tackle as many people as possible today! My plan is to move along the breadth of the beach. Now listen up, Bill my son... we might get into trouble with the police for what we are about to do. If we do get into trouble I want you to tell anyone who asks that you are my son and the heir to my estate - my worldly possessions that collectively equate to a couple of shells, this old boot, this here pipe, this bottle of wine and yes - this old crab as well. I want you to have them - because you are my son!'

'Yes! I am your son. Thank you father for these wonderful things I will treasure them when the time comes,' Bill the seal yelped happily.

'Good man,' Jean replied. 'Right! To business then! Let's get out there and frighten some people!'

The Frenchman and the seal set out on a right rowdy rampage!

They chased people here. They chased people there.

Outside one of the locals pubs there was a couple of people in suits sat to a table having a business meeting. Jean just rolled up to them and put his dirty wet old boot on their table!

It was a lot of fun doing that but sadly it was the last straw for the mischievous duo. The one lady sitting at the table got up and cracked Jean out with a good hard clean slap to the face!

She addressed the two rascals:

'You two are a disgrace,' she said. She was talking to Bill as well. She actually thought the seal was a human being dressed in his delightful scarf and hat! So she pointed a finger accusingly at the seal and said, 'I have never been so offended in all my days! I am outraged and I will not stand for it!'

The woman pulled out her phone and made a little tinkle to the police.

It wasn't long before Constable Maddox turned up with his boys.

Maddox was ecstatic! He finally had the chance he had always been looking for to lock up Jean for good...

'And you are not getting away with it either!' Maddox said to Bill the seal. 'You two are going to be locked up for a decent length of time!'

And that is how Bill the seal ended up in prison!

Bill served five months before he was finally released but our poor boy Jean didn't make it. NO. Sadly Jean died in that prison.

When he was free Bill returned to Jeans cave to enjoy his inheritance.

'I shall look after your legacy Jean,' said Bill. 'Your dirty old soggy boots will be safe with me! I shan't forget you you crazy old dog! You were the best friend I ever had!'

But for now I will bid you adieu as the memory of you still lives between the stars and the seas...

(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

For more adventures set in the town of Fenwick check out:

IT HAPPENS AT NIGHT

JIM'S SUBWAY

THE BEST VIDEO GAME

===========================================================

Also take a look at:

My Games

Play Elfin Quest

Also take a look at: