Another day, and another good kick from the Australia's by the other side of some wild donkey seeking random adventure in the great outdoors. Well, at least that's how I feel.
Anyway, let's return to something sensible. Here are a few more daily tips to help you lead a healthy and mature life.
1. If you see an oddly shaped sheep walking in an awkward fashion and it looks like its head is about to fall off, call the police at once! It's probably a madman in disguise!
2. If you feel worried you might commit a terrible crime hand yourself into the police and confess before-hand, and the crime will never happen!
3. If you can't cross a busy road because of all the zooming cars, try to climb onto the roof of a building and leap from one roof to the other. It's a brilliant way to move about, and you'll only fall if you think about it too much.
4. If a fat and oddly large seagull accosts you in the street asking for directions please refer to point 1.
5. The best cure for hay fever is to leap head-first into a pollen field and roll about in it all day long into the morning. I have never tried to do this, and that's probably why I am still alive.
6. if you have seen a dinosaur freely walking around in your back garden go check your medication now!!