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Welcome travellers to SWW Productions... Enjoy your stay!
Monday, 30 March 2026
Vegetable Aliens 3 RABBIT ATTACK!
THE BEST VIDEO GAME: Part 1
Jack was a mighty warrior. A mighty King. A leader of a nation with an army at his back - that was Jack. He was a warlord and a king, at least until he turned his laptop off because WARLORDS AND KINGS was a free to play video game, and Jack was only allowed to play the game from 6PM to 9PM and then it was time for bed unless he wanted to his mother to give him a headache.
Have a guess how old Jack is?
Let me imagine what you are thinking...
Fifteen year old lad heavily into drinking and video games?
Well, if you thought the later, you would be RIGHT.
It is his age. That is where you are wrong.
Jack was forty years old and he was still playing video games...
He lives with his mother in a right broken family.
It was a great life for Jack, in a rubbish depressing sort of way. He didn't have any real responsibilities to deal with. NICE. His only burden was that of running a fictional medieval kingdom that existed inside his computer screen and nowhere else.
Jack took breaks from his kingdom ruling only when he had to clean his room and go to work...
Jack worked in a warehouse in the dingiest most rundown sloppy dirty grimy unpleasant foulest wettest nastiest corner of the town of Fenwick.
His workmates liked to do horrible things to him...
They liked to lock him up in cupboards and hang him by his legs out of the window over the quays.
Jack didn't just hate his job.
He loathed it.
It was hard. It was ugly. He had to pick heavy things up, creates full of stinking shellfish dragged out of the sea.
And the money was bad... Jack earned about enough to keep him in pizza and beer, and to keep his mother out of his ear for an hour or three.
After having his head flushed down the toilet for the second time in the same day compliments of his lovely work colleagues Jack decided he had had enough for the day and went home. He didn't care if he was caught leaving his post early by management. In fact it was all part of his grand scheme to get himself sacked.
You see the situation was this:
His mother was strict and wouldn't allow him to quit his job. BUT if Jack got sacked then well there was not a lot his mum could do about that!
So Jack wanted to get sacked.
It was part of his life plan.
He couldn't care less about anything anymore.
The only thing Jack cared about was his laptop and his kingdom...
Jack slopped home and flopped into his bedroom. He needed a good hard session on his favourite game - Warlords and Kings.
He needed to get back into his imaginary throne which was his bed, and run his imaginary kingdom.
O how those poor peasants are going to pay as soon as Jack was back in play!
Within seconds the game was up and burning and Jack decided that he was thirsty so he grabbed a cheeky can of beer and then returned to his game: Time to kill some peasants!
O it made him feel so good being a total bastard in a video game.
It made his life worth living killing imaginary people, worth living indeed if only slightly.
He drank and he played and he played and he drank until Jack finally ran out of beer.
He took a sneaky look in his mothers fridge but there were no cans left.
DAMN IT!
This was beyond a disaster.
Jack was barely buzzing and he needed booze badly to keep the flow going.
But there was NO BOOZE!
He repeated NO BOOZE!
WOW now wait a minute? What was that in the back of the fridge there?
A bottle of purple G-Juice?
On the label it was written: THIS IS THE PURE STUFF!
It belonged to his mother but well, when did that ever bother Jack?
He grabbed the bottle and glugged it back...
If Jack was a man of the world he would have known to NEVER drink G-Juice like that.
But Jack was not a man of the world.
He was a man of his bedroom, and that was that.
And so when he had finished drinking the bottle of G-Juice he collapsed and blacked out for a good long time.
When he woke up again he was lying inside a cold dark stone dungeon...
That's right!
A DUNGEON!
No this was not his dirty stinky bedroom with socks on the floor and an untidy bed.
NO.
He was lying inside a LITERAL stone medieval dungeon!
What had happened?
Sitting up he moaned: 'How much did I drink?'
Jack was not alone inside the dungeon. There was a shady looking man in a robe and a hood standing in the corner and he was looking at jack with his flashing green catlike eyes.
Jack was afraid, and he had good right to be.
'Who are you?' Jack said to the stranger in a trembling voice.
'Sir Kreep,' the shady hooded man replied. 'What's your name, son?'
'I am Jack,' said Jack, still trembling.
'I don't think that is your true name,' said Sir Kreep. 'You have got another name haven't you?'
'No!' said Jack stammering, almost chocking on his words.
'I think I have seen you around here before,' said Sir Kreep determinedly. 'You are him, ain't you? You are the guy who runs this kingdom right? Yes! That is you right there right now. What is it that you like to usually call yourself? King J the Death King, something silly like that? I remember you, sitting on your bed eating your chips and looking down on us poor folk. You liked killing us peasant's didn't you, King J the Death King? Well you look at you now! Seems you have ended up in the dungeon. How sad for you. How happy for me. Do you know why I am in this dungeon, King J the Death King? You put me here. That's right. You burned my village down. You murdered my family. But you let me live locking me up to keep the memory of your horror alive. You are a really nasty piece of work ain't you Jack?'
'It was just me playing a video game! It wasn't real!'
Sir Kreep lifted up his arms and made an O shape with his mouth and then he said, 'A video game, hey? Is that your excuse son? Does this look like a video game right now? Do I look like someone who is part of a video game to you? NO. Everything evil you did was real in our world at least. And now you are going to pay for your evil deeds.'
'I beg you not to do this to me!'
'O! Begging will do you no good boy. Everything bad you can ever image is going to happen to you! So buckle up boy! Hard times are ahead!'
Jack woke up in his bed!
Thank goodness for that! It was all just a horrible dream.
How wonderful!
'That was the worst dream I have ever had,' said Jack out loud.
And then a sinister voice said under his bed:
O how you wish it were a dream...
...No more dreams for you boy...
And then Sir Kreep creeped out from under the bed and grabbed Jack tightly with his bony clawed hands so Jack could not run away. 'I am going to haunt you, Jack,' said Sir Kreep. 'I am going to haunt you for the rest of your days...'
And so begins the horrible nightmare that would become Jack's life...
(For more adventures set in the town of Fenwick Check out: IT HAPPENS AT NIGHT & JIM'S SUBWAY).
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Friday, 27 March 2026
Why are people like this?
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Monday, 23 March 2026
Vegetable Aliens 2 The Rescue !
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Vegetable Aliens! Episode ONE: The Basement Creature
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Rooster Man 2 : He is Back and he gets locked up!
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Friday, 20 March 2026
BUS NIGHTMARE
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Monday, 16 March 2026
The Day The Sea Fell Silent
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Man Arrested For Loitering!
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Sunday, 8 March 2026
Rooster Man !
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New poems
My old poems are still to be found here:
I am writing all of my new poems here. This is an ongoing work and words will be added as time goes by. Thank you.
SO WE BEGIN
1. For there is in life a thousand beautiful marvellous things, marvellous things that stings, much a full of things, that brings, any marvellous things...
2. I like to dream a dream of thy face, thy many faces gleaming in the dews - what a mirror thy do use, as thou gleam in those many dews and diffuse thy gorgeous aroma into the skies...
3. Thy face, I knew, thou smile. Thy smile is to me a thousand different dreams, a life in a life. I dream my life, with thee, I dream my life. Thou art a dream... dream - please. Live my dream as thou lives - my dream please live. And as thou live, let me live, with thy gorgeous grace.
4. Thy face, Gorgeous grace. I live with thou - beauteous in sleep and dreams. And in sleep thy sleep with dreams of joy. Please enjoy your dreams as I, please be like I. Let me live your dreams.
5. For in thy face... Thy beauteous face, a dream is born of dreams - in thy face are dreams. Thy face is love, and thy face lives the dream, the dream of my love, my love my dream. No sweeter dream than thy love, thy brighter love, thy face my dream, no sweeter dream than my love.
6. For what are thy, my dream, my lovely sleep, my eyes eye, my dream. For in thy deepest bloom, my look becomes a doom in thy loveliest depths, thy vibrant depths, and thy colours become like my every step, for every step is thy step again and again, thy step thy heart that beats, my life with you it sleeps, forever with you, it sleeps as though it were awake with every light in the world.
7. Such stories make me wish I was there, as fair and fine as the air. The air in whose breath I receive, the many stories I weave. Thou might forget me, as time forgets thee - but I will never forget yea, and you will live forever as the tides are breathing in me, living inside of me. As long as the waters are beside me there will always be a story in the debris, O please, a story in the breeze, a story of the seas, a story if you please!
8. I remember that night when they came...
Long ago...
It was a wonderful night with a gentle moon above.
I remember it well...
The light came in through the window - but it was not the light of the moon to which my eyes were drawn.
I walked towards it.
It was beautiful to me.
And that was when I met them!
Fair and far they came - they taught me the secret of it.
I walked with them, beneath the moon, beneath the sun - they taught me the right of it.
With them I learned the light of it.
The joy of it.
There is light in dark and light beyond.
O I am so fond of those light folk from yonder.
Now I am home again, and everything is a strain.
They said they would return.
So I sit and wait by my window every noon,
Waiting for them to come back, to come back soon,
They said they would return,
They have not returned.
So I sleep by my quill and wait as much as I will,
I dream of them still, and I always will, I dream of them
In the night so still...
I dream of them.
9. I miss my music box...
But now I live among the rocks,
Down by the gulls,
Up with the gulls,
The old lighthouse stands and sweeps the floors at night with its lights
and it sleeps always in the daylight, it sleeps, except me... I never sleep.
Across the water I can see the arch of an old cave long drowned by the waves. I like to ponder what lay yonder, it helps the nights to wonder about that place where none no longer wander.
Then there came a day like any other day, but yet like no other day I have lived before.
There was a bottle washed up by the sea, and it came straight to me.
My hand moved before curiosity hand a chance to play its game and before my mind could even be given the chance to awaken I had the lid off, pulled out straight away.
There was a parchment inside - a single leaf of paper, and it read:
READ ME LATER.
And there were notes, musical notes written beneath.
By the blessing of a boon I could play a tune, and so I found my flute and played.
O I played and I played to the sound of the waves O how I played.
Then the gulls fell silent - the seas became calm.
And there was the cave revealed to me beyond the waters yonder.
I reached it by way of the rocks.
I crept my way down.
There was not a sound.
And there inside, waiting for me, there it was my old music box!
O my there it was, my music box there it was just for me...
Time for home for me, away from the sea, it was time for home for me.
Away from the rocks, because I had my music box, it was time for home for me.
10. There is nothing quite like what you are, brighter than the brightest star. The darkness has no hold over you, you shine the whole night through. There is nothing I admire more than you ruler of the skies your light is true...
11. For there is life in life and love livelier than love, in a single breath that thy take,
12. I see something that is not always seen, but should always be seen, the dream of thee in songs awake.
13. To thee time is like a mirror, as thy grow, thy soar, thy fly, so much has gone by, under thy eye, as thy limbs reach to the sky thou art a world among worlds. There is nothing stronger than thee, and nothing that quite inspires as much as thee for there is nothing greater to see as thy limbs cradle the world, your beauty unfurled, you cradle the world and stand mighty for all to see.
14. Ruby red rivers, divine, and in whose grace thy dine. Thy face blushes in a hundred mirrors gleaming in thy dew clad rivers. Thy mirrors are dreaming rivers... By jove! What a sight! Thy light, so bright, tonight, your light this night delight!
15. For there is in thy, thy little eye, thy eye, a thing to be seen yet always seen, glory unto thee thy glorious thing. For in thee there lives something that has to be seen! Colour. Life. Thou breath without strife! And yet there it is - without strife there is no life, and without life there is no sight, and without sight there is no sight of thee, or thy glory, my glorious glow, go, and live!
16. There is a light flashing in my heart. My mind is like the breeze it wishes to float with the seas - O please, let my songs fly with the seas... 'Not yet for thee!' silent songs singing in my mind... They are not yet ready for thee, dear sea, though thou waters do grace me as they face me I would disgrace thee to be in thy waters. Not yet for me, fair sea, not yet for me! But one day I will be with thee, dear sea, with thee, and my song will breathe in thy waves. But not yet for me, dear sea, not yet for me nor for thee, so farewell my dear sea.
17. It was long ago when I saw a face like yours in the mirror, and yet there is no mirror that could paint a face clearer and so fair seeming as thou. No matter how much a dreamer can dream, there is no mirror that would ever hold something dearer, something sheerer than the picture of the fair face that is there looking at me now. O dear mirror! How I wish I could still be with you now!
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Friday, 6 March 2026
Adult Man VS door!
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Saturday, 28 February 2026
They Said They Would Return...
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Friday, 27 February 2026
Here Are Some Images Of The Game I am Building: "King For A Day"
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The Washing Machine Conspiracy 😆
It is a conspiracy I tell you!
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Friday, 20 February 2026
My Card Was Declined... For Biscuits?
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Wednesday, 18 February 2026
Introducing: Jasper Fiddlewig! The British Person who just CANNOT catch a break!
Here is our boy Jasper Fiddlewig:
He dresses like that because he knows... he just knows - there is always a chance for rain even on a sunny day!
Nothing ever works out for this British person!
Check out his latest video here:
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Tuesday, 17 February 2026
Batman's replacement is here!
Sad at the shortage of Batman movies? Well never fear, because Rooster man is here! Yes! Behold the enigmatic, unflappable Rooster man! He is the hero we deserve!
He is here to stop the dastardly Mr Teapot!
And his accomplice the Septic Stork!
You will agree they do indeed make a lovely pair - imagine the following image on the front of a Valentine Card! Marvellous. Every woman on planet earth will be charmed by the sight of these fine two lads I am absolutely sure of it!
But never fear...
Rooster Man is here to stop them!
Well... Sort of...
Keep your eyes peeled... new Rooster Man videos are brewing!
Best wishes and good luck out there!
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Monday, 16 February 2026
What are they...?
What are they...? 😲
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Friday, 13 February 2026
The Bus Is rubbish!
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Tuesday, 10 February 2026
Dreams are Skies and Skies are Dreams...
...Just as the title says!
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Sunday, 8 February 2026
It Happens At Night 27: IT ENDS
"I am not a killer..."
"You will be in an hour or I will feed you to the dogs!"
Facing absolutely no choice in the face of the WHOLE world Freddy left home armed with a gun ready to kill another human being.
Out of all the stupid things that he had ever let happen to him in his life that particular moment where he found himself walking up the road towards the gas station fully armed was the most stupid of them all.
TOTALLY STUPID.
And Freddy was angry with himself.
And as he was walking towards the gas station Freddy was thinking this:
"How does one man go from being an artist at bungling everything up to serving the most powerful family in town as an assassin? Am I still drinking the G-Juice and just forgot about it? It has to be that! I have to be drunk and dreaming, or dreamingly drunk it is the only way explain the madness of the day!"
Freddy was finally standing inside the defunct gas station.
There was Wuan and Jish standing together like they were waiting for him.
'I told you already that we have no more business together, Freddy,' said Wuan darkly. 'Go now or I will make Jish make you go.'
'I am sorry, Wuan. I can't go,' said Freddy with a nervous stutter or two.
'You appear to be shaking Freddy?' said Wuan. 'You look very stressed. What's wrong?'
'I am sorry Wuan,' said Freddy weakly. 'You have been such a good friend to me, Wuan. I enjoyed all of those parties where I watched you selling fruit juice to professional wine merchants. It was brilliant! I made a lot of money with your help. I wanted to carry on doing business with you. But you killed the mother of the Kings... The Kings know you did it and they are not going to let nit drop.'
Wuan asked Freddy, 'Why are you here?'
'I have to end this Wuan!' said Freddy as bravely as he could. 'Forgive me. You should not have run that woman over intentionally or unintentionally. She was an innocent victim caught up in our stupid war games. Blood can only be paid for with blood, that is the King's motto. And so I have to spill blood for the Kings!'
It was time to stop the talk and to do the deed.
So Freddy made his move and reached for his weapon.
Freddy reached down but he put his hand into an empty pocket...
Okay. Let's do that again!
So he tried the other pocket with his other hand...
EMPTY!
Two empty pockets?
SO where was the gun?
'It's right here Freddy,' said Wuan holding up the gun. 'Jish removed it from your pocket the moment you entered the building. He knew you were armed. It is one of his many talents.'
'I was in the special forces,' said Jish with a proud glint in his eye.
'What are you going to do to me?' said Freddy.
Freddy could no longer find the effort to feel fear.
He knew the game was over. Really truly finally over this time. He could feel deaths cold fingers on his shoulder his cool voice whispering: YOU ARE MINE NOW FREDDY.
'Join me for a drink?' said Wuan to Freddy's shock. 'Drink some G-Juice! Here I will pour. Take this glass. Drink it up. Enjoy it. No man deserves to die a sober death.'
Freddy took the full glass gratefully. 'I hear you. I seriously do not want to be sober anymore. Sod that rubbish!' he said. 'Let oblivion reign O thou sweet oblivion!' and Freddy glugged the glass clean.
'Have another one Freddy,' said Wuan and Wuan refilled the glass. 'Drink steady, Freddy, you deserve it!'
Freddy woke up in his bedroom back home.
There were empty beer bottles lying all around the room.
Freddy moaned and his head moaned: What the heck just happened?
Freddy got out of bed and tripped on one of the bottles.
Wuan was standing in the doorway. Welcome home Freddy, he said
Then Freddy woke up again. He was still in his bed.
There were now empty beer bottles all over the bed in addition to those still on the floor...
Freddy didn't even bother to think about how he ended up in such a mess. He shook the bottles off. He heard them clang together as they rolled across the floor to join their mates on the other side of the room. How much did I drink?
Freddy was not alone in his room.
His uncle Lucian was standing in the doorway. This is what he said:
You like a drink or two don't you eh Freddy? So do I. At least you can lie down in a bed at the end of the day, me? I can't even bend my legs. I sleep propped against the wall - doesn't do my back any good. But I guess I will have to lie down one day when they finally put me in one of those graves. Into a grave, Freddy, like the graves we used to dig! O Freddy how we used to dig...
Freddy woke up again.
His mind was a slimy mess and he was sweating like a soul that had just run a 3100 mile race.
And his heart was beating hard, so it felt, hard enough to punch through his chest!
Frank King was standing the doorway.
This is what he said:
I offer my friendship out sparingly. I offered it to you freely! I gave you a home and a business, food in your belly and money in your bank... But what did you give me in return, Freddy? You gave me a war! And yes, lets not forge that you killed my mother as well...
Freddy woke up again.
There was a shadow standing in his doorway, a gash of pure darkness leading into space!
From the darkness a voice came:
Ever met the devil, Freddy? I can introduce him to you anytime...
Freddy woke up again.
There was a handsome man with dark hair and green eyes standing in the doorway. Freddy had never met him before.
This is what the handsome man with dark hair and green eyes said:
I am the devil, Freddy. Nice to meet you. You look surprised but not horrified? What did you think the devil actually looked like then? A monster with horns? I am so sorry to disappoint you...
Freddy woke up again.
There was a beautiful woman with dark hair and green eyes standing in the doorway.
This is what the beautiful woman with dark hair and green eyes said:
It is me again Freddy, the devil. Say Freddy do you like this look better? Does this look please you? I bet you like this look don't you? Do I make you happy looking like this, Freddy? Do I make you happy, Freddy? Are you finally happy Freddy?
Freddy woke up again.
The doorway was empty.
Freddy walked out into the streets but there was nothing out there anymore no roads no buildings... no people...
There was only darkness!
And then a voice that came from everywhere said:
Welcome to hell Freddy!
Freddy woke up again.
This time he was looking down into an empty grave.
There was a stone already setup in front of it. The stone read: RIP Freddy.
'You are going to die today Freddy,' said a voice from behind.
It was Jish and Wuan. They had dragged him to the graveyard and apparently worked together to prepare a grave for him.
'The sacred cult has had a change of mind,' said Wuan to a very trembling and very sweaty Freddy. 'The cult demands a blood sacrifice after all. You proved your spirit to them when you tried to kill me in my shop, Freddy. Your blood has been deemed worthy for our cause after all.' Wuan drew out a carven dagger. 'I am going to slit your throat Freddy and drain and drink your blood. And then Jish will throw you into that grave and once you are covered in enough mud you will be forgotten forever, as it should be. Don't look so sad, Freddy. You are going to die for a great cause! Just think you could have avoided all of this if you had just stayed at home in your bedroom playing video games and never going outside. O well. Down to business then! Know this before you die, Freddy - it was your courage that finally got you killed. Sometimes it is just better to keep your head down and exist like a simple coward. Goodnight Freddy.'
Freddy closed his eyes as the blade came down! It might have been Freddy's destiny to feel the punishing shiver of the cold steel slicing through his throat but that didn't mean he had to watch it as well.
A couple of seconds passed. Freddy waited for death... And he waited and he waited and then nothing happened...
When Freddy finally made the heroic decision to open his eyes again it was Wuan who was lying in the grave with a huge bloody gash in his skull! And there standing overhead of all people was Uncle Lucien holding a shovel. The grand old fellow had knocked Wuan down! Finally Uncle Lucien had done something useful with his life!
'Sod this. Consider me no longer involved,' said Jish quickly. 'You two are better at this murdering business than me! I am going to go back to the Gate House to live out the rest of my life in peace! Good luck lads!'
And like that Jish was gone. He popped out of sight like a puff of smoke!
'The old ghost who has been haunting me for years will be happy now. She will leave me alone. She has finally been avenged,' said Uncle Lucien. 'She will be at peace.'
'I am glad to hear that,' said Freddy. 'What do we do now?'
'We cover up this body and get on with things!' Uncle Lucien replied casually.
Freddy was baffled by the response he was given. What did the old stick-like man mean by get on with things?
'There is no getting on with anything not for me not anymore,' Freddy replied sombrely. 'I am wanted all over the town by everyone the gangs the police you name it they want me gone! You could make a poll ranking the least most desirable man to be right now on planet Earth and I would be at the top there, number one, the winner or the loser whatever way you look at it.'
'Look at what this gravestone says. It reads: RIP Freddy. You are safe now Freddy because, well, your dead!' said Uncle Lucien. 'At least that is what everyone is going to think. Now let us cover up that body down there before it starts to stink!'
'And then what?'
'And then we get back to doing what we do best, Freddy. We get back to digging up graves!'
THE END
(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
Previous part here
There is a prequel to this story. Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1
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It Happens At Night 26: There's Only ONE Debt Left...
They kept driving.
Driving. Driving...
But where were they going?
Freddy wanted to ask that question so much!
But he was too afraid to do it...
And for good reason!
He was stuck in a car jammed between two murderers!
Wuan showed absolutely NO compassion for what he had just done running down that poor woman.
When Freddy thought about it his thoughts talked like this: I have underestimated this man. I thought he was a humble businessman out to make a quick buck! Turns out he is a complete psychopath!
O no!
GET ME OUT!
Freddy would have paid a small fortune to get out of that car right then if he could.
But no nice little miracle was on its way save him... (But when was it ever?)
It was starting to get lighter outside. Morning was setting in. Freddy could see things through the window at last. There was a large old rickety building up ahead and it looked like Wuan was driving towards it.
Freddy recognised the building. Why it was the old Gate House! The building had been abandoned and left to rot years ago during the riots.
But by the shape of things that was definitely where they were headed.
The car came to a halt at the front lawn.
'Do you know this place?' said Freddy. 'This is the Gate House.'
'I know. I own it,' Jish replied.
'Really?'
'Well nobody else does and it is a shame to let the place go to waist... So I claimed it for my own. It is the least this country can afford me after all I have done during the war.'
'Ahh! I see! So you are dosing in it then?'
'You do remember that I once was with the military?' said Jish disapprovingly. He didn't appreciate Freddy's candour.
Humbled, Freddy apologised for calling Jish a lazy tramp.
'Now let us get out of the car,' said Jish. 'It is time for us to kill a man...'
There is no need to describe the Gate House. From the outside and from the inside it looked just like something out of your typical gothic horror movie; old, warped, cracked, pointed, cobwebbed, dusty and terrifying. Once they were inside Jish told them he was going to leave them explaining that he had important business to attend.
So for a while Wuan and Freddy were left alone together.
'So what are we going to do now?' said Freddy.
'When I know our enemies have been defeated, and it is safe for me to leave this building, I am going to go home back to Singapore. That is what I am going to do, Freddy,' Wuan replied. 'What you do Freddy is up to you. You are no longer my concern. You are on your own now. If you need help with anything, like paying off your debts you are going to have to seek help in other directions because our business together is finished. Maybe you should approach the King's again for another loan...'
'Please Wuan! We were friends! Things don't have to end like this!'
'Yes they do Freddy,' said Wuan. 'Thanks to you I have lost everything. My shop is in ruins. My whole forgery business has been exposed not only to the eyes of the police but to the public as well. I am what they call finished. And that is why I have to finish with you. Even if I actually liked you, I would still have no other choice but to walk away. Thanks to your meddling I am now an enemy of the Gangs of Fenwick and the police forces. I need to escape the country. I am not going to prison because of your stupidity Freddy.'
'I didn't mean for this to happen!'
'Yes you did. You made the fatal decision to go on a date with a very dangerous woman who had blood ties with the Irish Gang. That was your choice to do that. Didn't you learn from your parents that we all have choices in life? And choices have consequences. Now you are living with the consequences of your choices. It is just sad for everyone else that your choices had the kind of consequences to implode a whole business empire and other people too. Congratulations Freddy. You are a practical ticking time bomb that has just exploded and everyone around you has been caught up in the blast.'
'Don't abandon me like this, Wuan. You can run to Singapore away from it all, but I am stuck here in a rats nest! I will be eaten alive! Please, stay. Help me. I will get you more G-Juice. We can find somewhere else to bottle it up and sell it like before. We can do this! Please Wuan. I am begging you. I will get on my knees and beg if that is what you want!'
And Freddy in that moment was like, damn it I will do it, and he literally dropped down and started begged like a dog.
Wuan raised an eyebrow. It was visually obvious by the cold expression on his face that he was bemused by the ugly and highly unmanly sight of Freddy begging.
Finally Wuan replied:
'Do you have any idea who I am?' he said.
'Of course! You are my mate!' said Freddy stupidly.
Wuan continued:
'I am beyond you as I am beyond everyone else in this town,' said Wuan dramantically. 'Judging by your debts and the general way you conduct yourself in your dealings with other human beings I can predict that someone will kill you one day not far away. So it will not hurt my organisation if I reveal my greatest and only secret: I am part of a global cult loyal to the astral god Strasmagoth...'
WHAT??!!
'The members of our cult make a blood sacrifice once every three years...' said Wuan speaking in a casual way like he was talking to an old friend about what he and his family had done over the weekend, as you do.
'Damn Wuan! Don't do this to me!' said Freddy. 'I thought you were one of the more normal ones...'
'I am in contact with the members of the cult every single day. We operate in many areas of the world but we have a huge stake in Fenwick because we have a temple built right under the ground beneath the very heart of the city! You were going to be our next sacrifice, Freddy. But after our recent business together we found your blood to be...unworthy... So that is one hook you have been let off! The cultists don't want you! You are too annoying for them. Fine. So that means all you have to deal with now are the gangs...and the cartels. Enjoy your life, Freddy.'
There was a grandfather clock in the hallway nearby that was still working. Freddy watched the hour hand move five times. That was how long he and Wuan had to wait before Jish returned.
Jish walked through the door carrying two things with him:
One: A large suitcase that was almost as big as he was.
Two: A very crazy tale even for the standards of tales born on the lips of the maddest of the most mad of story tellers.
'I have finished my business,' said the dwarf. 'I am happy to say that the war is almost over. ALMOST! There is one last piece of the puzzle to solve and then we are done.'
'Okay. What's been happening then?' said Freddy.
'I made that cheeky call to the RSPCA like I said I would. I managed to get Joanne locked up in the local zoo,' said Jish. 'I told them on the phone that there was a walrus on the lose in a public area. The RSPCA responded quite quickly. I was surprised by their efficiency it was like they had dealt with similar situations before like this and had some experience dealing with walruses. I don't know if the walrus is native to Fenwick but the guys that turned up in the van to seize the creature definitely knew what they were dealing with. "My gosh how did that thing get loose?" I heard one of them say. "We need to bag that creature fast before it hurts somebody!" They tried netting her to begin with but that didn't work. She managed to escape! She is a tough beast our Joanne! So one of the RSPCA boys loaded up a tranquiliser and shot her down clean. Then they loaded her dosed up body onto the van. It took fifteen men to carry her. That was when disaster struck! Bill and Bo discovered what was happening to their mother and started a fight with the RSPCA boys! As I was watching the scene unravel I thought to myself: "Damn! The game is up!" But then the armed police span into view, someone must have tipped them off that there was a scene going on in the High Street. After a huge fight the police managed to arrested Bill and Bo and then they took them away cuffed up and defeated. So that is that lot nicely dealt with!
'All that is left now of the Irish Gang is Elfie Rooney and he is the most dangerous of them all. But I have a plan to deal with him once and for all and that plan sits right here at my side,' and then Jish dropped his massive dwarf-sized suitcase to the ground opened it up and cracked out a very lethal looking sniper rifle. Jish looked at the weapon with the kind of look a lover might have. The dwarf kissed the barrel of the weapon with a passion Freddy had never seen witnessed before by other people not even in his high school days. 'This is Jill! She is the love of my life!' Jish was talking about the sniper rifle. 'I carry her wherever I go. She has served me in many wars. And she is going to serve me now. I have setup a trap for Mr Rooney. We are going to play a game with him. I told him where we were. I told him to meet us at the Gate House for talks. I don't doubt he will come armed. But what he won't know is that I am armed far better than he is armed, and I can shoot him from very far away so if you excuse me, gentlemen, me and Jill must make our way up to the bedroom window above and make love once again.' As he said that he snapped the scope into place on that beast of a rifle of his. The weapon was almost larger than the dwarf! 'I only have one bullet left, saved from the old wars,' and Jish took the bullet out of his left pocket. 'It is the only bullet I need. So once again excuse me, my fine fellows. It is time to make magic happen...'
Jish went up stairs.
Another went by and then there was the sound of a car engine outside. The sound was accompanied by the piercing screech of rubber eating gravel as the power of the vehicle was brought to a halt.
A second later there came the sound of a bullet.
Three seconds later Jish returned. He came down slowly. There was a clear tear in the dwarves eyes.
'It was magical,' said the dwarf. 'Mr Rooney will bother us no more!'
Wuan heard this and responded in a cold and dark voice:
'Marvellous. Now Jish you and I will return to what is left of the gas station. I still have some equipment to gather there before we go. We must make plans to get out of Fenwick. Let's get back to the car now...'
'What about me?' said Freddy. 'What do I do? Do you want me to go with you?'
'We have already talked about this, Freddy,' said Wuan darkly. 'You are on your own now.'
And with that Wuan and Jish drove away, leaving Freddy no choice but to attend the long walk home all by himself.
On his long walk back Freddy was thinking about what he was going to do next.
He felt pretty doomed so he thought he might as well have a drink of whiskey and then just go to bed. "What else can I do? I will drink until I am drunk like most drinkers do. I will drink until I forget everything that I will indeed do!"
As Freddy opened the door, hoping to enjoy a chilled evening after two intense days of being on the run, he got the shock of his life!
There was a tough looking guy sitting on the chair in his living room.
O no! It was Frank King and he was holding a gun!
'How has your day been Freddy?' said Frank.
'O! Wonderful, in a horrible sort of way. Thanks for asking Frank,' Freddy replied nervously. 'It is good to see you Frank! But why are you here? Would you like to help me toast the end of the war?'
'No. Not me, thank you. The war has only just started for me Freddy boy,' said Frank.
Freddy asked him what he meant, and Frank said, 'I woke up this morning ready for another day of business only to learn from the police who came knocking on my door this morning that my brother is in hospital, fatally wounded, and my mother has been killed in a car accident.'
'Good gosh! That sounds terrible!' Freddy replied. 'Sounds very much like your having a worse day than me, sort of.'
Frank got up from the chair and turned around to face Freddy directly.
'My mother is dead Freddy,' said Frank. 'I thought about it for a long time. She was knocked over by a speeding car the police told me. I asked them if there was any CCTV footage of the event. They said there was. I asked to see it. They said no. I offered the officers five thousand each and they showed me the CCTV footage. The footage that captured the whole scene is quite good. Very clear. And when you pause the footage at a certain moment about three seconds in, you see the faces of the people inside the car that killed my mother. There was one guy I didn't recognise. But I knew the face of the man sitting next to him. I saw your face Freddy...'
'Frank please! Let me explain.'
'Save it.'
'I wasn't driving the car!'
'But you were in it. And you didn't think to stop to see if my mother was okay?'
'It's not how you think it is! I wanted to stop but I had guns pointing at me in all directions! Are you going to kill me Frank?'
'Yes. I am going to kill you,' Frank raised the gun right up to Freddy's head. One pull of the trigger and Freddy's day was done.
But Frank stopped there and continued talking saying this:
'You have got one debt left, Freddy. Pay it off and I will let you live.'
'What do you want me to do?' said Freddy, who was trying desperately not to pass out with terror.
Frank lowered the gun and stepped right up close to Freddy. Then Frank slipped the gun into Freddy's quivering fingers...
'Kill Wuan for me,' said Frank. 'Kill Wuan,' he repeated. 'And when the man is dead consider your debt paid.'
(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
Previous part here
There is a prequel to this story. Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1
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