ere de flo (Short Poem)

Drunk on water?

I once knew a man from Leeds

Who used to deal in seeds...

Poppy seeds don't you know?

He told me he had a problem with water. 
  I felt so sad for the fellow.
  'Every time I drink water,' he said, 'I always get stone drunk.    It's so awful!'
  I said to him, 'That is so awful.  How do you get by without drinking water?'
  He looked so forlorn.
  'It is a struggle,' he replied.  'A desperate daily struggle, a struggle where I suffer very badly.  What I do is, whenever I need to drink, I mix my water with cockney tea blend.  It tastes strange, and makes my head go all weird, but it works and it is the only way I can drink water.
  The other day, at work, while at a meeting someone got me some water from the dispenser unit.  I drank the water because I didn't want anyone to think I was being rude.  I got so drunk and made a fool out of myself.  It was awful.  I danced around on the desk and my manager was outraged.  I tried to explain my situation but he thought I was lying, and he sacked me there and then for drunken misconduct...
  'It was a sad moment for me because I worked so hard to get that job.
  'Now I am a washer man - but whenever I get a drop of water in my mouth I get drunk and end up getting into fights with people.'

I felt I needed to help this person out.
  So I did some research. 
  And after some time I discovered this strange ancient Shamanistic method for removing Drunk Water Disease.
 
One day we decided to carry out the Shamanistic method.
  It was going to be a day of cleansing.
  So we sat out in a forest, and I read the ancient words, and blew honey dew leaves through a fire. 
  My friend inhaled the honey dew and already I saw a change come over him.
  He started to speak:
  'I feel...
  'I feel!
  'I feel happy!  Happy happy Hippo!'
  And then I watched with my own eyes as my friend transformed into a great big fat old hippo!
  Ha Ha!
  What  a sight it was!
  'I am going off to find my friends now,' said the Hippo.
  And he plodded away to a zoo.
  So he was a hippo all along, eh?
  That explains a few things.
  Now my friend could relax in a swamp with all the other big hippos, and get a drunk as he wanted because he didn't have to work anymore!

THE END!!!

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