ITS Biker Bob ! #motorbike #comedyvideo

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

Jim's Subway 18: That's just how it is...

'I have got someone I would like you to see,' said Toddy.  He took the newly enlivened Jim under his green arms and led him forth.  'How is the G-Juice?'

  'I am scared,' said Jim.  

  'Why so?' said his friend.

  'Because it is going to run out,' Jim replied.

  'Don't worry about it for now,' said Toddy.  'You have enough in that bottle in your hand to keep you going for an hour or three.  So walk up and follow me!  I have a fine friend who lives ahead I would like you to see!  I think you and this fellow have a lot in common!  You will have a lot to talk about, especially in matters concerning alcohol.'

  'If I run out of G-Juice I might not be able to talk,' said Jim, but Toddy patted his friend on the shoulder and assured him that he was going to be fine.  'You will always be able to talk!  And don't forget, old Toddy is here to help!  If you ever find yourself in a corner, in the gutter, if you ever find yourself all alone stuck in the dark with the shakes, just call old Toddy here and he will help!  Now that we have been acquainted you will never have to be alone ever again!'

  Jim heard Toddy's words but he didn't feel any comfort by them.  He didn't know if he really liked the strutting, unkempt toad.  He actually found him rather vulgar.

  His odour was utterly repulsive...

  Jim had a feeling that the repulsive little man must have spent a considerable amount of his life sleeping in drains.

  But anyway...  It was what it was.  Toddy seemed to know quite a bit about G-Juice, so that made him somewhat worth keeping around.

  They walked together for quite some time, they didn't speak much as they went along.  They stopped finally just outside a large and very impressive looking house.

  'Here we are,' said Toddy.  'You may have seen this place before on your walks.  You night agree it is the most impressive building in all Fenwick outside of the Castle, and the richest man I know in town lives here.  Hopefully he is awake.  I will knock the door and we will find out!'

  Toddy knocked the door but nobody answered.

  They waited for quite a while, probably something like ten minutes.

  Toddy knocked again.

  Him suggested they should leave.  'Maybe he is not in?' he said. 

  'O he is in,' Toddy replied.  'He's always in on weekdays.  He doesn't work.  He has nothing to do!  The only time he ever goes out is Sunday mornings.  Strange, I know, but I have only ever seen him outside his house on the weekends.  He is very reclusive.  One might say, housebound.'

  'Do we need to talk to him?  he doesn't sound very interesting?'

  'O but he is interesting!  His name is Rod.  He might very well be the most interesting person in Town!  You see, he is the only man I know in this town who has access to the interior of Castle Fenwick.  If there is anyone in this whole dank rotten excuse for a town who knows a thing or two about the gritty goings on behind the scenes he is the one to talk with.  That's why I want you to meet him!  I think you will like him once you get to know him.'

  'I feel too ill to like anybody right now,' Jim replied.

  'We will see,' said Toddy.

    So Toddy, still determined, rapped the door to the great house a second time.  

  There came a high pitched voice from below...

  In fact it came from the letter box!

  'Sorry lads but I can't open the door, it's rusted shut through lack of use,' said the voice.  'You will have to move round to the window!  That's right.  I have it open and on the latch just over their to your right.  Please find the handy little ladder I have place below, and use it to enter.  Thank you, and my apologies for the inconvenience!'

  So there was Rod.  He was a strange little olive-skinned bold wobbly man who spoke in a fast, panicky voice.

  He bowed to Toddy first, and then he turned around and then bowed before Jim like he was some sort of servant man.

  'My deepest apology,' he said to both of the men.  

  'Please it's no trouble,' Toddy replied.  Then he asked Rod how long he has been inside the house.

  'All week,' Rod replied.  'I try not to go out if I can help it.  But sometimes I am called to the castle...  Every now and then they have some business for me, and I must go.  I must go...  There is no other way.'

  'That's all very interesting indeed, Rod, but are you going fetch us a drink or talk all day?' said Toddy.

  Rod heard this and started to shake.  'Good gracious there I go waffling on and you two gentleman are standing there like a pair of old coat hangers.  Please, my fine gentlemen, come in to the living room and I will fetch us all a drink.  Do you drink whiskey, Jim?'

  Jim nodded.  The whiskey glass was brought straight into his fingers and the juice inside was just enough calm his shakes.  Jim drank the glass clean and then asked for another.  Rod was more than happy to comply.  

  'Not that I mad but is there a reason for this visit?' said Rod.

  Toddy took a seat and started to speak:

  'Tell us about the castle?' he said.  'Don't look shocked by my words.  I imagine there are a lot of people in town who ask you about the place.  After all, you are the only person with access to the strange hoary place!  It is the largest building in all of Fenwick.  You can see it wherever you go in!  And yet you are the only living human who has ever born witness to its halls.  That makes you a very special citizen, Mr Rod.  You know things few folks know.  That's what makes you so very interesting.'

  'O please i am not interesting not in the slightest,' the portly man responded.  'On the contrary I am rather boring.'

  'That's your state of mind talking,' Toddy continued.  'You think you are boring,  because you tell yourself that you are.  But in reality, you are the most interesting person in town.  Trust me, I have been around a lot, and I know what I am talking about.'

  'O I didn't say otherwise,' Rod replied.  'It's just I don't have a lot to talk about.'

  'I say you do,' Toddy returned.  'You own the largest house in the town.  You have an audience with the castle.  Can't you tell us, at the very least, who lives in the place?  Does it have a lord?  Are there people there?  Or is it all a deception!  Do we see only a misty veil, a curtain, behind which sits nothing.  Are we all drunk and do we simply imagine the place?  Are the halls of the castle truly empty?  Put us out of our misery, Mr Rod, end our uncertainty and our confusion, tell us the true meaning of the castle!  Let it's secrets out, let its coveted whispers flow.  We four ears here in this room want to know.  And no one else need know, but we three.  I promise you, Mr Rod, we are men of our word as well as men of honour, and we will not let the secrets of the castle flow beyond these four walls.  You know me from old, Mr Rod.  Often I have visited you in a drunken haze!  When have I ever failed you?'

  'I cannot talk about the inhabitants of the castle because I have been sworn to secrecy,' and then Rod swallowed before he continued:

  'Under pain of limb removal.  They. have worn to cut off my legs!  But I can tell you this, my fellow patrons.  They have many curious habits, pastimes that one might consider odd.'

  Toddy heard this and his eyes lit up a very bright tint of green!  This, as Jim would learn, was how Toddy's eyes turned when the toad became excited.  'Endulge Mr Rod!' said Toddy.  'We want to know all.'

  'I don't know if I really do,' Jim interjected.  'I have a weak stomach.  A have a strong stomach for things like whiskey, but when it comes to people and their ways I feel very sick.'

  Toddy told Jim to remain quiet.

  'I have a secret but you must promise to never disgorge it to the ears of outsiders,' said Rod.  'And I mean that!  And definitely do not speak about what I tell you certainly not to the residence of the Short Tailed Fox!  I can't have their tongues wagging about mybusiness good grief no!  I will never be able to show myself outside of my home ever again!'

  After hearing this Toddy started to practically beg Rod to reveal his secret!

  'Okay well this is my story,' Rod started:

  'My father was a rich man.  He built this house.  He used to have a chain of pawn shops along Flint Street.  He was doing very well, until the value of gold dropped.  Plummeted, in fact.  gold was as valuable in our region as the cobblestones of Fenwick, that it is to say, about as precious as swamp water.  My father was forced to perform as a street clown to make ends meet.  He considered starting a cotton factory in Brazil, but he discovered he had a phobia of alligators, and snakes and so he had to come home again.  He understood with time that the life of a clown was the only way forward for him, until he found himself a permanent resident of Green Hill Road.'

  'O, so he bought himself a new house then?' said Toddy.

  'No,' Rod replied.  'That's where the graveyard is.  He died of tuberculosis.  After that sad moment it became my burden to carry the family name.  There were so many debts I had to deal with in those early days I really feared that I was going to lose the family home.  I tried gambling at first, but I lost every game.  My debts increased immeasurably after that foolish mistake.  After that I started to write.  I always fancied myself a poet.  But then I turned to the bad ways of drinking.  Alcohol helps one battle the disease of perfectionism, but it also makes one drunk, and as it turned out I proved to be quite a bad drunk, especially after I made a display of myself in the annual fair, dressing publicly like an 1850's West-Fiji tribal dancer (I was writing a book about ancient cannibalism at the time...).  That mistake earned me a bad reputation among the higher classes of the town.  My peers eventually referred to me as the one who drinks in clothes of leaves and grass.  I was later thrown out of the gamblers club once news got round of my drunken shenanigans.  Then my luck turned, after I had spent four weeks performing as Basil the musk-hound, that's the mascot for Ted's dodgy shop down Flint Street, if you were wondering, I received an invitation to the castle...

  'It was there, in the walls f that old fort, where I made my fortune!  And here I am today!'

  'But you didn't tell us the best part?' spoke up Toddy.  'How did you make your money?'

  'Well...as I mentioned, them of the castle have many odd ways.  They must have seen me in my musk-hound costume, and took note of my drunken ways and mistook me to be a shapeshifter.  Since then they insist I spend 24 hours standing on all fours barking to the moon!  I am the castle dog...  Yes, that's right.  I make my money by degrading myself.  It's horrible, but it pays the bills and the debt man, and I only have to do it on weekends.  I get the week off, thankfully, for my poor knees do hurt indeed they do so much!  It is a hard life serving as a dog even if it's only for two days a week.'

  'I bet it is a miserable business indeed,' said Jim.

  'There are worse ways to make a living,' Toddy spoke up.  'I mean you could be a news reporter chronicling the weather of some remote island, like South-Eastern Papua.  Think how awful that would be once the natives have you up to your neck in boiling water and vegetables.'

  'Aye that would suck too,' Jim responded.

  Just then there was a knock at the front door.

  Rod jumped out of his chair in a mad panic and rushed to answer it.  

  Ivan stepped in.  He looked about the room and once he had fastened his eyes on Jim and pointed at the man and said, 'I want you!  Stop what you are doing and follow me back to the lab right now!'

  'I can't work today,' Jim explained.  'I drank too much...'

  'I know what  you did,' Ivan replied.

  Ivan was angry!  There was a fierce look in his eyes.  He looked like the sort of man that would break bones at any given moment!

  Jim was scared.

  So scared one might considered him frozen to the spot!

  'Move now!' Ivan cried.

  Jim found the movement of his legs again when he saw how serious Ivan was.  He follow the man outside, and they walked together.  They did not talk not until they reached The Rits.'

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

Lode Runner The Legend Returns

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

My Inspiration

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

Bob Mildews new bike 🏍 !!! BUT does it work?

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Shadow of the Beast Playthrough

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

Jim's Subway UPDATE MARCH 2023

JIMS SUBWAY.  I have NOT finished this story!  Far from it!  There are more crazy things I have planned for poor old Jim!

  Trust me!

  I write this story for fun, to relax while I take a break from my other projects.  

  I am hoping, in the coming months, to return to Jim's Subway properly.

  But there are a few things that will slow me down...

  I am helping a colleague to proof and edit their book - more updates on that to come.

  I also plan to expand SWW Productions into other areas of the internet.  

  Most of the time with my business I spend social networking, trying to reach new audiences.  It's tough going and can soak up many hours of the day.

  I am also writing a very large book as well:

  THE TRIALS OF RUDWIN

  It is going to be the sequel to: "The Legend of Rudwin."

  The Trials eats most of my time.  It is a very important story to me and I need to think very deeply about every line I write in it.

  I also have a number of videos to work on for my YouTube Channel.  I am very passionate about my YouTube Channel.  

  There is a lot of work to do, not just on the stories or the website:

  Midweek I hustle.  I typically work into the night.  I have to do this.  Hustling puts bread on the table.  It also keeps the dream alive!

  It has to be done!  Every challenge that we face has been put out there for us to conquer!

  So let's go forth and conquer!

Best wishes to all and I wish you all a very prosperous 2023 and beyond!

Sean Wadley the Director of SWW Productions

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

Shadow of the Beast Review : Retro Memories

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

Living with you, my thoughts

Living with you, my thoughts

by Sean Wadley

A life can be written in stone:

Words can be carved into a slice of rock.

But to live you must be like the flowers.

To grow, you must be like the trees.

To see you must be like the sun.

And in all these things we are done.

They were my best of friends, I remember them well...

We used to go on great adventures in the woody places, 

We talked and thought by streams, 

We lived and hoped in dreams,

And walked wherever it seemed,

The glow of life beamed...

...in rays of sunshine, in the dews, with stars, where the petals of flowers are,

We talked and walked unseen:

There I go again, shedding tears,

for the voice I never heard,

for the eyes I have never seen

for the dreams that never were.

We walked unseen,

As vibrant as a sunbeam,

We swayed over the path like tree branches in the air,

We sung like merry folks at the fair.

With you again

With my thoughts

I am with you,

Just my thoughts

You again,

Me and my thoughts.

We walked unseen,

As vibrant as a sunbeam,

I wish we could have been,

Something like others have seen...

This is how it always goes.

Let's cry again about nothing,

And let nothing fill our tears,

sadder to cry over a dream that has never been -

than to weep over a dream that I have seen,

Sadder to cry on an unspoken word -

Don't dwell on failure born out of good.

Now I sleep upon your stone,

Where your lungs once used to breathe,

Where your eyes used to see.

And now my eyes are hollows,

Through which vines burrow,

And flowers bloom with dews that shine with stars,

Where my hair once used to grow,

The grass is green.

And our hopes and dreams are still alight,

For our memories were born in the light.

We live with the dawn,

And sleep with the night.

Sadder to cry on an unspoken word -

Don't dwell on failure born out of good.

And although our bones cannot move,

In the eyes of birds we are still a sight,

And in their wings our dreams are always in flight:

With you again

With my thoughts

I am with you,

Just my thoughts

You again,

Me and my thoughts.

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Jim's Subway 17 : Who's paying for this stuff ?

Jim couldn't remember anything that happened for the rest of that evening.  He might have had many interesting adventures, witnessed by owls and bats and drunken people wobbling about the midnight streets of Fenwick, but no one, least of all Jim himself, would know.

  The G-Juice had robbed  his mind as well as his dignity - but the most remarkable thing about this situation was that Jim did not care.  In fact, he was happy with how things were going.  He figured, having led a full life of being bullied, coerced, and neglected, from childhood, living a life without a clear mind was a good thing going forward.  G-Juice meant that he did not have to think.  He did not have to remember, and that was the beautiful magic about the drink.  

  That evening Jim finally figured out that he was in love with the G-Juice.    

  He wanted to guzzle it every day...

  Every Hour - minute...

  Every second he wanted to feel the fiery glow of that warm green liquid flowing down his throat.

  The drink could take free reign of his brain, liver and kidneys, it had Jim's permission to kill as many of his brain cells as it desired, so long as he felt the flow of the glow in his throat.

  But when the flow stopped O my!

  What a sad thing it was when that happened.

  The horrors for Jim and his body once separate from the Juice were undeniably bad.  The brain would switch back to life, take Jim's soul as a prisoner, and lock him in a cave that was dark and cold and full of vast monsters that clawed at him from the shadows while starring with red eyes.  His body on the other had was another thing altogether, for while he was a prisoner in that dark cave his limbs would do this involuntary dance.  His heart would pulsate like a thing possessed and his stomach would shake and his hands would quiver and his legs and feet would twitch.

  Jim had NO control over his body...

  ...Not while he was a prisoner in that dark and horrible cave...

  Not while the monsters were clawing at him from the shadows...  

  So that's how it was with him that evening, when Jim found himself all alone inside the abandoned train tunnel, with no G-Juice left to warm his soul.

  He was angry, and he was too weak to do anything.  He wanted to punch the sky, punch at anything, he wanted to scream.

  But instead he collapsed.

  He did not move for a long time.

  The rats by the train tracks mistook him for dead and started clambering over his silent limbs, sniffing about the decay of his rotting clothes and hoping to gorge themselves on his poisoned flesh.

  Jim started to see things, squirmy slithery objects crawling and falling on the walls of the train tunnel.  Were they snakes, or were they worms?  he could barely make there wiggly shapes between the blurry lines of his vision.

  Eventually his eyes started to fade in and then out of the darkness.

  During the last seconds of light, the figure of a short stout man appeared from behind a wall...

  Wait... was it a man?  Jim's vision was still so blurry at the time he couldn't quite make out for certain - 

  "Actually," Jim thought, "I think it is a toad!"

  The toad started to talk to Jim.  It so turned out that the animal was quite fluent in the English language - which I guess was lucky for both men.

  'Hello there my lad,' said the Toad, and he introduced himself as Toddy.  'Everyone I know calls me Toddy,' he said.  'You'll often find me sauntering around the train tunnel.  This place has been my home for the last few years.  I rather like it here.  I find the cold draft near the tunnel mouth quite sobering.  Now that's me.  I have introduced myself so I think it is your turn.'

  The toad turned to Jim and asked for his name.

  'I presume you have one?' said Toddy.

  And Jim replied:

  'Please...  I am dying...'

  'I know what ails you my son,' relied the toad.  'I have been in your position quite a few times myself.  Hold on one moment I have the trick here in my coat pocket.'

  Toddy brought out a small bottle of whiskey form his coat pocket, and emptied a portion of its contents down Jim's throat.

  After that Jim perked right up.  In fact he stopped shake and was actually able to stand back on his feet for the first time that evening.

  'Thank for that my friend,' said Jim shaking Toddy by his webbed hand.  'You are pretty much a life saver right now.'

  Toddy brushed his coat down and replied:

  'A life for a life that's what I always say.'

  Jim agreed, though in his heart he didn't really understand the Toads meaning.

  But life for a life was the sacred saying in Toddy's family.

  'I am a whiskey man myself,' Toddy explained.

  Jim told Toddy all about his personal experience with the fabulous lifechanging G-Juice.

  'G-Juice is the best,' said Jim.  'I am a new man because of it!'

  'So I have seen!' Toddy replied.  'I saw you waddling around in the distance a few hours ago.  It was a fine sight!  I can't help but respect a man who drinks in the day and in the night!  There is another saying in my family as well, and you know it's true because my father lived and died by it.  He used to say:  "Why live a sober life when you can be a drunk?"  It's a magnificent saying if I don't say so myself and I would have it no other way in my own life!'

  'If I had a glass of G-Juice in my hand right now I would be toasting you to that Toddy my boy,' said Jim.  'But there is no more juice left, alas for me.  What a sorrowful moment this is for a man like me to be without juice.  My heart sits inside me now as empty as the moon in the day without the light of the sun - like a tree without the wind to move its limbs or the birds to give it the voice of a song.  I am as lonely as a mountain at the bottom of the sea, for I have nothing to drink.  Woe for me, for I have not a drop of G-Juice, and soon my limbs will start shaking again.  I can't cope with it, Toddy.  You must help me!'

  'I can tell that your liver is dry,' Toddy replied.  'It just so happens that I do have a bottle of G-Juice with me, fresh from the laboratory of our good friend Mr Ivan Gustav!'

  Jim was so excited to hear this that his eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

  'Here drink up my son,' said Toddy handing the man the bottle.

  Jim gulped back as much as his gullet would allow before the burn of the gushing spirit finally set in and became too much!  

  He had drunk too much too quickly.

  A fools mistake he would never make again!

  Jim vomited a good amount of the juice up, but knowing how much of a waste that was Jim got onto his knees and proceeded to lick up as much of the green fluid as he could with his tongue.

  From far away you might have confused the man for a wretched desperate destitute dog scratching around on all fours, drinking from a festering puddle of scum.

  Standing close by our boy Toddy watched all this and offered Jim and encouraging chuckle.

  'I can see you and I are going to get on well Jim,' said Toddy.  'You have got spirit!  And I don't just mean the drink!  Ha!  I like you.  Now don't you worry about the spillage.  I have pilfered another bottle from the lab.  And it's yours, of course, but we will talk more about that in a minute.  For now just enjoy the drink you have got now.  Make the most of it.  Sup up!  Let it stir the liver.  Let it get the blood pumping.  Soon your brain will be as sharp as a saracens blade, and when the sunshine glitters once again on the sands of your mind, we will be ready to talk like men and toads.  But for now just drink, and walk with me, this fine evening along the balcony beside the sea of Fenwick.  Walk with me and drink Jim!  There is something I would like to show you!'

  

(All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

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