Thursday, 16 July 2026

Throwing Stones

 There are three epic characters in this story with amazing names:

Phil
Bob
Steve

Let me introduce you to...

THROWING STONES

Let us begin...

Phil and Bob were having a nice chat in the park:
  'Have you ever hated somebody SO much you just wanted to kill them? said Phil.
  Bob thought his friend was joking and so he decided just to go along with the flow of the conversation.
  'O yes!  Of course!  Plenty of times!'  
  'What would you say if I told you that I have found a way to kill someone without anybody ever knowing about it?'
  'I would say that was still illegal.  Now how about we change the conversation?
  'I am being serious here Bob.'
  'That is what is worrying me,' Bob replied.
  'Will you not at least hear me out?' Phil pushed on.
  'Well...  If I must,' Bob replied hesitantly.
  It was time for Bob to hear what Phil had to say.
  And so Phil started:
  'I know of a way to kill someone and get away with it!  I was standing by the train crossing, you know the place?  It's where that annoying barrier comes down whenever there is a train on the way and you have to stand for ten minutes usually, sometimes fifteen sometimes twenty even!  Well one day I was standing by the barrier, twiddling my thumbs, when in my boredom I picked up a stray stone and chucked it at a passing train.  I managed to hit the train in a certain way that the stone skimmed off of the side of the train and bounced back really fast at an angle and knocked down the person standing across the road from me.  The stone knocked that person right in the head and later that day that person died.  The police looked into the scene but there was nothing that they could do against me.  I mean really?  What could they do?  I was just tossing stones about and that ain't a crime.  So that person died and I got away with it.  Fine.  I felt bad of course.  But it was an accident and the police knew it.  When I got home I drank some coffee, sipped a little whiskey, and then I got to thinking about that train and that stone I threw.  And I thought to myself, could I do it again?  Could I fire that stone in such a way I could kill another man and survive the wrath of the law?  But I did not want to kill at random.  That other chap I knocked down with the stone?  I didn't know him.  I didn't want him to die.  But there was someone who I did want dead.  A cocky young runt who owed me money.  He was called Ted.'
  'Ted?  No!  Not Ted Hill?'
  'The same,' Phil responded with a chill in his voice.  'It is because of me that Ted is dead!'
  'My gosh!  You killed him in the same way as that other chap?'
  'That's right.  I just tossed a stone...  I invited Ted for a walk.  I walked with him from the shop.  I listened to him speak.  He always liked to talk rubbish, talk big like he is the man - you know what I mean?  O how I hated him he was a liar and a scoundrel.  I was determined to make him pay.  So we stopped at the train stop and we waited fifteen minutes and when the train finally came along I knew it was time to do what I had to do.  I picked up a stone and threw it at a certain angle, in a certain way that the stone skimmed off of the side of the train and bounced back and knocked Ted in the head.  He dropped down like a log and died like a dog!  And that was the end of Ted.  And like before there was nothing the police could do.  It was an accident!  How can the law arrest a man for tossing a stone?'
  Bob was shaking with horror.  'I know Ted was an irritant, but you killed him?  You... murdered that man!  This is terrible Phil!  Why are you telling me this?'
  'Because I am your friend,' Phil replied.  
  'I don't think so!  Not anymore.  How could you do something so terrible, Phil?  Damn!  I thought I knew you!  You were supposed to be my mate!  We used to go fishing together.  And yet here you are confessing to murder like butter wouldn't melt!  You disgust me Phil!  I never want to speak to you ever again!'
  Bob walked away and Phil was left alone with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  
  Phil smoked a lot lately.
  His fingers shook every time he lit a smoke...

Guilty conscience mehap?

'Nay not me!' said Phil to himself.  'I might pop by the Short Tailed Fox and fetch me a drink to celebrate the end of Ted who is dead!'
  Phil stalked into the pub like a man on a mission.
  He ordered himself a pint of the local Fenwick bitter.
  As he was enjoying his pint a strange stranger joined him at the table.
  'They call me Steve,' said the stranger.
  'Like I wanted to know,' Phil replied unpleasantly.  
  Phil wanted to be left alone and to get drunk.  He did not have time for small talk that day.
  He was still thinking about Ted and about how neatly he skimmed that stone on the side of the train.  

  Two stones.
  Two dead men.
  And one man called Phil who claimed them all.
  
I could kill again.  Who would stop me?  But who should I kill?

Phil started to lose his temper.  'Look!  There are plenty of tables everywhere.  Please sit somewhere else!  I am trying to enjoy my drink!'
  'Ted used to enjoy a drink,' said Steve.  'Shame he isn't here, hey?'
  'I don't want to talk about it.  Leave me be.'
  'I hear Ted owed you money?'
  'What business is it of yours?'
  'Here is the money he owed you,' and Steve placed the paper on the table.  'There.  Now all debts are amended and done.  The shadow between and Ted has been expunged and now the threads that had been torn between you two have been resown.  Marvellous what a bit of paper can solve, eh?'
  Phil scraped the money into his pocket and ordered another drink.  
  With a fresh drink in hand Phil moved to another table but Steve, undeterred, moved over to join him.
  'What is your problem?' said Phil.
  'I just like talking to you,' said Steve.
  'Well I am not in a talking mood,' Phil replied coldly.
  'I want to talk about you and Ted.  Were you two friends?'
  'Yes.  Sort of.  I knew him from work.'
  'Did you two get along well?'
  'I guess so.  As well as well can do, I guess.'
  'Did you like him?'
  'No.  I hated him.  Does that answer your question?  Good!  Now go away.  I have got work in the morning and those crabs don't pick themselves.'
  'You work in the crab factory?'
  'Like pretty much everyone else in this town.  Yep.  I work for the Kings.  What of it?'
  'You like your job?'
  'It's a job.  That is all it is.'
  'Ted worked with you.  He loved the crab factory.  He was unemployed for five years and was so happy when he got that job.  Time to make some money.  He had been through hard times our Ted.  Nasty divorce.  Lost his home.  Credit cards...  owed a lot of money to a lot of different folk.  Nasty business...  Drinking problem to boot.  He wasn't allowed to see his children either.  It was hard times for our Ted.  But hey, now his dead right?  Now the nightmare of life is over for Ted.'
  'I really do not want to talk about this!  I need you to realise that this conversation is making me feel very uncomfortable,' Phil replied harshly and he almost spilt his drink.  'I am a busy man with a lot to do and I need to get to bed...'
  'Of course.  I understand.  Ted used to be very busy too, back when he was alive.  Your name is Phil, right?  Phil.  Indulge an old man and walk me home will you?'
  Fine.
  Phil agreed to walk Steve home.
  So off they went, out of the pub and down the road.
  They walked in silence.
  Eventually they met the train crossing.  The barrier was down, of course...  another train was on its way.
  It was time to stand and wait.  Wait for he train.  Phil checked his watch.  
  One minute.
  Two.
  Five minutes...
  Damn it!  "Lift barrier lift!  Why won't you lift?"
  The barrier would not lift.
  Another train went by.
  Ten minutes.
  Twelve.
  'Ted was my boy,' said Steve suddenly.  'He was my son and heir and I loved him dearly.'
  What?
  There was another train on its way.
  Phil lost his nerve with Steve and grabbed a stray stone.  But just as he threw it Steve nudged Phil's arm so that this time the stone hit the train at the wrong angle - this time gravity sent the stone bouncing right back at Phil's head - killing him dead.
  Steve looked at the stricken body and shrugged his shoulders.
  'O well,' he said.  'It was just an accident!'
  The barrier finally lifted and Steve walked away.
  
THE END

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)


For more adventures set in the town of Fenwick Check out:
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