Showing posts with label depressing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depressing. Show all posts

Monday, 25 February 2019

Don't like the daytime

I!
It rolls over the glossy speck.
Hey.
Up it goes.
There it is!
Hard staring…
Beaming
Brushing up against the moving arch
Looking through wide on all sides
Maddeningly bright
But I cannot stare back
I must look down.
I must close away from it –
The worst thing is the noise it brings.
The noise is inside and out
- it echoes in my skull.
It goes it goes…
I START TO HUM
Burrahh!  Burrahh!  Nootash!
It goes goes
I hum–
FREE ME!
It goes it goes.

I don't like the clarity the thing gives.
I don't want to see it -
I don't want to know.
Hide it all up
Thank you very much squire!
Goodnight!

And then it happens.
All of sudden without my realising,
The fingers under the sky take over –
And we are back to it!
My favourite time is back on!
Hoorah!
No wide hot face fighting through,
Now it’s all silky smooth
And the sound of it…
O the sound!
It is the most wonderful thing
For then – in a thousand million lights I hear nothing!

========================================================================
Also take a look at:

My Games

Play Given 'em Hell
Play Elfin Quest
Witches Brew a short text based adventure game!

Also take a look at:

My YouTube Channel


Sunday, 17 February 2019

Reach for the Glass...



Another day.
Nothing special.
So I ready the glass.

It's Mid February and there's a bit of sunlight swimming in the clouds
I feel the warmth on my face through the window
It makes me remember something...
... its on the edge of my memory -
But I lose it at the last second.
It flies away.
Maybe its for the:
That kind of thing is best left for sleeping dreams anyway.
No room for fantasy:

I Reach for the glass.


I keep returning to that window
Catch the last play of the sun.
And then I hear a tune far away...
The ice cream van!
There's no one in the old graffiti-ridden rotten city to go to it yet it plays on still.
It plays
It plays
Outside...
And inside my mind as well.
It plays louder in my brain.

It's unbearable so I reach for the glass.

The tune plays on.
There's a summer going on, somewhere, sometime.
The tune is playing.
We're skipping across the grass.
The flowers aren't dead yet.
The dew is dry but not forgotten - the day as bright as the summers smile.
We won't forget you!
We live you, morning noon and night!
We live you and we laugh!
The sun is not outside but in our hearts.
We move in a song.
We laugh because we can!
We dance because we need no reason.
We're all a song.
It's never going to end!

The tune stops.
I see the grey old walls.
I hear the police sirens.
I hear people moaning.

I take up the glass.

No regrets!

I take the glass!

========================================================================
Also take a look at:

My Games

Play Given 'em Hell
Play Elfin Quest
Witches Brew a short text based adventure game!

Also take a look at:

My YouTube Channel


Tuesday, 4 September 2018

The Walls

  I had lived for decades in a room with nicotine stained walls – and dirty windows I couldn’t bear to look out of.  I lived with the same stench of smoke and mildew swimming around my nostrils.  I became part of the smell – the fetid odour, weak, and dribbling, slopping about, just about existing – wafting from one segment of open air to the other.  
  Drifting.
  Drifting.  
  Like a foul smell.
  I would go from my room to my job.
  I walked under the black skies.  
  It was always dark.  
  So much smoke in the air.
  NO stars.
  The moon was a dream.
  What was the moon?
  What was the sun?
  All dreams.
  Just thoughts that go into the mind and jump about and play games with each other every now and then – fun games that just about keep the boredom at bay.  
  I always liked to dream of a sunny day.  Damn!  Just one sunny day…
  Can you imagine a sunny day?  A walk in the park?  The wind singing in the trees, the water kissing the beech, sending a sweet hiss into the air?  Seagulls screaming – happy to be alive.
  Just a dream.
  All a dream.
  There was nothing else but dreams when you live in one room with yellow walls – with one road leading to work.  
  You need dreams when you walk under the night sky.
  And the evil thing about life, with all its smoky smells and mildew, is that it tries to steal your dreams.  
  But you have got to say no.  You’ve got to hang on for dear life to those dreams.  Carry them as crystal rings on your bony fingers.  Let those beautiful diamonds shine somewhere, in your heart if there’s nowhere else and if some foul stench tries to rip them away put a cage round that vital piece of beating muscle, put soldiers there with knifes and assassinate that fiend without guilt and sorrow.
  Just do it.
  Fight the assassin.
  Beat the rigour of that phantom.  
  Don’t let it steal your dreams.
  But it will.

Tuesday, 24 April 2018

Monday, 8 January 2018

MR RETYPE

What would you do if you could undo your mistakes?

???

What if you made a truly terrible mistake and your life was left in a mess?

What if you could go back and undo that mistake?

...

If given that chance would you just go back and do it all over again?






Saturday, 1 July 2017

Sunday, 18 June 2017

Crows Eye

Crows Eye is finished - thought its missing a sound effect (the scene where the violent police soldiers hits the main character with a pole should have a punch sound...  I will add it sometime).  This is a dark art movie - I wanted to create a painting that moved and told stories to the viewer.  This film is different from the others I have made so far because i created all the backgrounds - the sky scenes were hand drawn.  I can't imagine a lot of people will this film, let alone enjoy it, but I don't make movies to please the crowds - I write and bring to life what is in my soul.







Monday, 21 November 2016

culpabilité et décès

Short film about a guilty murderer trying to hide from his past - but as the years go by his sin catches up with him ...

NOTHING can escape invincible time.

ALL music written by me.

A film about guilt and gloom by SWW.


Saturday, 22 October 2016

A friend is a friend?

So I was following the low road home, and a good friend of mine cast me into a deep hole in the ground.
  I begged them, 'Please help me get up!' but they laughed and walked away.
  So there I remained, for an hour or so.  Then vast hands dragged me down, and I saw a terrible monster, huge in stature, great in power, hideous in malice.
  I was dragged through a great canyon of gloom, this journey lasted days, finally we stopped and then the monster held my head down in a pool of darkness, till I almost chocked.
  Then I was brought up and nailed to a charred tree - lightning struck me for three days.
  Then tiny creatures crawled into my flesh - a grasshopper made camp on my tongue, and whispered in my mouth - "fools be fools!"

Then a bird made a nest on my head, and plucked out pieces of my hair to keep the nest warm.
  "Let me live in your hair for two weeks,' said the bird to me.  'Let my hatch lings grow.  And when they are gone, I promise to give you my wings and my claws.  And then you can go forth and wreck vengeance.'
  So I waited two weeks - and with my wings finally grown I pulled myself out of the tree, and made my way into the skies, and looked down upon a world of scuttling beetles.
  And for sometime I swirled among the vapours, and when I spied my quarry I came down like a sheet of light, for I had seen the bold crown of my ageing foe - "Remember me?" I whispered in his ear.  "I will go easy on you - for my heart knows pain."
  And I struck out his eyes and when he stumbled he fell into the deep hole in the ground, and when he hit the bottom he broke his neck - and his suffering ended in one go.
  And I flew away, happy that I shown mercy to my lost friend of old, and then I found a tree and built a new kingdom there!
  The rest of the story is told in the leaves that decorated the floor last autumn....

THE END





Friday, 16 September 2016

I have made some new friends ...

I turned a corner, I was very close to my destination and didn't think anything about the shadowy figure that was following me.  "Not far to go!  Not far to go!"

Then I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder hold it tightly, cutting the circulation of the blood.

I fell to the ground.

When I awoke I was lying in a dark room.

A loud voice that came from all directions so as to fill the room completely said to me, "You do not know yourself, or your luck, or how happy you will be in the next few hours!"

"I...I   don't understand," said I.

Then I heard laughter.  The room reverbeerated with it.

The darkness grinned with it.

And then I felt a terrible chill.

"You have made some new friends..." said the voice, ominously alluding to something dark and terrible -

And then the lights turned on


and then I saw this -




THE TRUTH 

Monday, 19 September 2011

Don’t go up to the top floor!

Here is a new short story

starting below...
=======================


I had just moved into the new house with my poor mother when the old proprietor handed me the keys, gazed back up at the old building, sighed, and then said to me, ‘Enjoy the house!  It’s a beautiful building.  Just make sure you don’t go up to the top floor!’
  I laughed at him, of course, thinking he was having a joke, but when I laughed he gave me a funny, almost offended glance, and then stalked away before I even had chance to ask him what he meant.

It turned out I had inherited a sizable and attractive house.  When I first glanced about it I thought, I could live here quite comfortably.
  The first floor was a series of passages leading to several rooms all of which were very large, and clean, well ordered and full of light and air.  The house had a bar, at the back, and a cellar, and beside this a small archway led to the kitchen which was elegantly combined with the dining room, and beside this was an excellently proportioned living room.  There were also two good-sized bedrooms on the ground floor, and a bathroom with a wonderful marble floor.
  It was marvellous!  I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to own all this.
  Of course I decided it was time to peruse the second floor.  And so off I went to explore, and at the top of the steps I found something that amazed me.  The second floor was a mirror of the first floor, with exactly the same rooms, exactly the same size and in the same places.  There was one marked difference; the condition of the rooms was slightly lived, there was a certain shoddiness, with peeling paint and large accumulations of dust in certain areas.  But the living room was huge, and it had a great window that looked out on the grounds below, and positioned beneath it was a fire, and even now a living flame was already flickering away inside it!
  Now I made my way to the third and final floor - but stopped fast at the first steps.  Now here was another significant change in the quality of the building.  This final set of steps was without a carpet, and the walls without decorations, and the little window by the side of the steps was stuffed up by a scruffy, greasy curtain.  There was something grey and depressing about this part of the house, and the gathering of dust was so amazing I could plough my hand through it and leave a finger trail behind like it was a pile of old mud.
  I shook my head, but for some reason could not put my foot on that first step leading upwards.  It was like an invisible wall stood against me - and not just that, but an awful feeling of claustrophobia that vanished the moment I walked away.
  Now I remembered the old man's words - don’t go up to the top floor!  I think it was his fault I feared those steps!  He had put ideas in my head!  Well, whatever, I didn’t explore any further that day, and returned back down below.

The first few weeks of my new life in the house were wonderful, and relatives visited, and we had parties and mother seemed happy.  I don’t know how, but I almost forgot about the third floor!  A whole section  of the house I had completely forgotten about.  And yet every time I did remember the final set of steps leading to the top, a sudden gloom clouded my mind, and I shuddered with a inexplicable sense of fear.
  It was about our third week in when the first strange thing happened.
  I was on the second floor, in the living room, stoking up the fire, and whistling a tune, quite mindful of anything other than my good humour, when I noticed the cabinet door behind me.
  Now I hadn’t checked this place before so I opened the door, to find a little set of steps on the other side.  They curved round and then went up, and no doubt ended at the top floor.  A second secret set of steps?  “How strange!”  I thought.
  I decided to ascend, and then I had to stop, for halfway up a solid metal gate closed the way off.
  Now I looked at the gate, and with the attitude of any other normal human being I thought “what’s this doing here?” and felt quite ruffled to find my steps blocked by such a thing, and when I started to think of plans to have the gate removed I heard footsteps from above!  Then, on the other side of the gate, standing on the steps just above me, an old man appeared!
  I’ll be honest with you, I was scared, and I ran down the steps in a panic, but then a took a grip of myself, and returned, to find the man had gone, but the gate would not budge by my hands.
  I returned to the room below shaking.  The man I saw did bear a resemblance to the old proprietor who had left the keys to me, but even so, if it was him, he was still an intruder, and had no right to camp himself in my property.
  Eventually I returned downstairs and somehow forgot the matter.

The next morning I checked on my mother, who had been very quiet in her room, and had not stirred for breakfast, to find she had disappeared.
  She had gone off exploring on her own…  and then I thought in dread of the third floor, had she gone up to the top without me? And when I remembered the strange man that lived up there terror gripped me!
  I had been living in the house for a month, and still had not gone up into the third floor.  It was crazy!  It was only then I realised how mad it all was.  Really , it was like my house was two different countries, with the border lying between the second and third floor, and then over that border was some foreign land where I was not welcome.
  Well!  I thought now, plucking myself up.  “This has to end!”
  I wasn’t going to stand for it anymore.  I charged my way up to the top!
  When I reached the third set of steps I did hesitate for a while, but then remembered myself, and I tore down the greasy curtain, allowing a pale oily light threw, and then I blasted my way up to the top without stopping!
  So now I had reached the top floor, for the first time in my life.  The first thing I noticed was how cold it was.  And that was because none of the windows up here had glass panes, and a cold breeze was freely running through!
  I shivered, then braced myself, before beginning to explore.
  Again, the third floor was a mirror of the floors below, only the quality of the rooms was seriously degraded, with  chipped wooden floors and naked walls, and windows torn out and left as holes before the open air.  No furniture, no furnishings.  There were no lights, only a chill darkness.
  I shook my head wearily.  What was this?  It was like no one had lived here, and the place was left to fall into ruin.  Then I remembered my mother, and I had to find her, for she had to be hiding somewhere, in these creaky worn halls.
  As I reached a large open room, adjacent to the secret steps beyond the gate which led down the living room below, a ladder dropped down before me. I climbed it, till I reached the attic above, in the roof of the house.  Dust was in my eyes but when I had rubbed it out, an unimaginable sight awaited me.
  It was the old man, standing on a chair, with a taught rope fastened round his neck.  Right beside the chair was a huge wooden chest…
  ‘I told you!’ he said.  ‘Don’t go up to the top floor!’  He kicked the chair away from under him, and the rope snapped about his throat.  I rushed to grab his legs, to support him, but I was too late to save the mad fellow…  By the time I readjusted the chair, and was able to climb up myself and cut him down, I found he was dead, and a great gloom clouded my mind.

The authorities quickly zoomed in and carried the dead body away on a stretcher.  I was left with a strange burden to bear.  Nobody could explain what the man was doing in the roof; he had possibly fabricated a key which granted him access to the house after we had handed over the legal deeds, but how he had obtained sustenance and carried out his affairs without my knowing, I don’t know.  I could only guess he was mad!
  But then of course there was the question of my mother.  My mother!  Where had she got to?  On that we were all stumped.  She had completely vanished.  But the authorities were out with search parties already, and I could only sit in my chair and dwell in thought and hope for the best.

Everyone was gone by the time it happened.
  I was on my own, and I poured myself a drink, for my nerves were shaken, and my wits exhausted with the burden I carried.
  That was when I saw the huge wooden chest by the fireplace before me.  The same wooden chest that had been in the top floor, by the spot where the old man had hung himself.  Now the lock flicked open by itself, and the lid slid back…  White fingers flopped out and groped about like little grubs.  And then out crawled a gaunt and shaggy figure.  Pale and emaciated, and clad in rags - an old hag with dark eyes and a hooked nose, and an evil toothy grin…
  Good grief!  No!  I looked again, and saw, beyond that vile visage of a leering hag, my own mother, only warped into a vile crow beyond description!
  ‘Mother!’ I cried, ‘what has happened to you?’
  She laughed, and then croaked, ‘I am not your mother!  And I never was!’
  Dropping my drink I fled to my room and locked the door.  That mad thing is now smashing against it, hacking away with a great cleaver!  Already the wood is giving way, but the window will not budge, and there now seems no escape for me!
  As I desperately write the last lines of this record, I don’t think I shall ever know the dark riddle that creeps along the twisted ways of this house.
  There is only one thing I do know for certain, just before the darkness takes me - and that is the number of my days…

The End

Monday, 29 August 2011

How the toy maker died

There used to be an old toymaker.  He built a house in the middle of a wood, beside a beautiful birch tree and a tiny stream that twinkled by.  He was alone in the world and he carved a family of wooden toys and dropped one of his tears in each of their hearts, and at night time they came alive, and talked to him, and sang him songs and kept him company.
  Just down the stream, and not very far away, two trolls lived.  They built a rundown shack, and they were poor and mean fellows, and hunted rabbits in the wood, and were hungry and lean.  They were ugly, bony men, with long arms and groping fingers, and their hair was red and tatty, and their eyes large and black.
  They spent all day grumbling over their lot in life, until one struck up an idea on how to enrich their pitiable way of life.

‘Now our lives are miserable as you well know,’ said the troll. ‘We’ve had a meagre way of life for a long time; but here’s a plan I’ve had, and I’ve been thinking it through all night.
  ‘-NOW!  There’s the toymaker,’ he started. ‘You know the one I mean. The really odd fellow who lives up from us, just a little way along the stream. Now he’s a strange one, as I’ve said before now, however, it is said he sleeps on a great box of gold! He’s as rich as kings, they say. Now he won’t share any of that with the likes of us so I say we go and take it from him!’
  ‘Do we ask him for it first?’ asked the second troll, but the first troll shook his head.  ‘I say we kill him.  I say we knock him out while he sleeps.  And the best part is no one knows about him, except us of course.  No one will ever know we did the deed!  And the gold will be ours afterwards!’
  ‘I says I like that!’ said the second troll - ‘Sneak into his house!’ he said, ‘knock him over the head!  Yes!  Good idea!’
  They both jingled with excitement.

They waited till nightfall, and with their blood pumping ready for the hunt, they followed the tingling stream, to the house where the toymaker lived.
  The trolls, with their clubs in their hands, waited for the lights in the windows to dim, and then the leader nudged his friends and said, ‘Right!  He’s gone to bed!  Follow my lead!’
  The door was locked, but they were able to snap open the window.  It was an old house, and not strong enough to keep the heavy handed trolls at bay, and so the two easily pulled themselves in, and they crept along the kitchen floor, along the passageways, to the dark room where the toymaker presently slept.
  The two trolls stood either side the bed, and after a One! Two! Three!  They clobbered him to death!  They bashed him till the bed beneath him broke in pieces!  Feathers in the sheets swam peacefully and lithely around the air.  The moon leaned out of the clouds, and turned the room silver, and red, where the blood lay.
  They rummaged about the mess and after seconds the trolls found their quarry.  It was the box beneath the bed, the treasure trove the toymaker slept on!  The troll leader held it up triumphantly in the moonlight, and he nudged his friend and said, ‘Let’s get out back home, lad.  We’ve done good this day!’

But in the sunshine of the following day the two trolls sat miserably around the box with their heads bowed in their hands.  They had spent all night and all morning trying to open it.  But they couldn’t, not for anything!  Neither had been expecting this.  The troll leader bashed the box over his head.  ‘Curse this thing!’ he shouted.  ‘What a nasty trick to play on us!  But know this, brother!’ and he made a pledge, ‘I will open this box whether it kills me!’

In the house where the toymaker used to live, there were no lights, no songs, no cheery talk, just dust and gloom, and an unhappy quiet.
  His old toys were sat on the shelf, one beside the other in a row, looking on their dead master, and each one shed a tear, but they would never bring him to life, as he had done with them.  They whispered, and whistled, and waiting and watched, and when the sun dragged the light away, and the sky was darkness and stars, the toys helped each other down from the desktop, and together, in single file, set out into the wood.  They followed the ways of the stream, to the shack where the trolls lived.  They were sleeping now around a campfire, and the leader was resting his head on the box.
  With a cautious care not known to those of humankind, they slipped the box from under the sleeping trolls’ head, and then they opened the lid, for the box was made for them by the toymaker in person, and only the toys knew the special way it opened.  Inside the box was a pouch of ground dust produced from the seeds of a deadly flower.  They sprinkled the dust on each of the trolls; putting the dust in their mouths and ears and eyes, and that night both trolls died.
  Like the toymaker, they would never see another dawn.
  Before the sun rose the toys put wood around the dead trolls and put a fire on the bodies.  They waited till the early hours of the morning, till the trolls were turned to cinder and dust, and then they worked with such subtle haste, taking every single fragment of the trolls with their tiny hands, till they had bundled the remains into the box, and then closed the lid down over them.
  They returned back to the toymakers house, carrying the box over their tiny wooden shoulders, and they did not stop till they reached home.  They put the box under the broken bed where the toymaker slept, and there the trolls remain, to this very day.