The frog came waddling into the house with his crutches and gouty leg.
Old Pig Brown had been expecting him a very long time ago.
Old Pig Brown had been expecting him a very long time ago.
'How are things Pig?'
'I have been for you one hour, three minutes and six seconds ago,' Pig responded, harshly. 'O well never mind! You are always late. Why batter the habit of a lifetime?'
'Yes. But if I was early I might take you unawares,' the Frog replied. 'That is why I always turn up late. I don't want to take you by surprise. I want to give you ample time to get ready. I am simply being kind and generous to you.'
'Why thank you Frog! You were born of good stock, it is not often we see such fine fellows like you alive today,' Pig replied. 'Now let's talk! There is a reason I called you over. It has to do with this old chimney of mine. I have been getting a bit of trouble from it lately. It just doesn't seem to want to work. Whenever I light a fire it just goes out - There is something peculiar going on. It is not always this way. And it on only started happening six hours ago. I am very concerned.'
'O! Is that the problem? No worries. I have heard about this before,' said Frog. 'Stand back old friend and let me deal with it!'
Frog hobbled up to the hearth and stuck his wooden crutch up into the chimney. He pocked about for several seconds, until a voice cried:
'Oi! Clear off! Stop that!'
But Frog kept poking and prodding, and after doing this for about half a minute eventually a huge cow dropped out of the chimney!
'What are you doing up the chimney, Cow?' said Pig Brown.
'O you know? I fancied a change that is all. I spend all day in the field, with the grass and the hay... And one day I woke up and said hey! Let's do something different! And so I did and decided to climb up the chimney!' said the cow. 'Anyway. I better get back home and do what I do best, mope around eating grass all day! Goodnight fellas!'
The cow was gone, fine, but the fire was still refusing to work!
So Frog did what he had to do, and started to poke around the chimney a bit more.
Oi! Stop that! said a voice.
Then a huge great big old giraffe fell out of the chimney!
'Now what is a giraffe like you doing getting yourself stuck up my old chimney,' said Pig Brown.
'O I wasn't stuck,' the giraffe responded. 'I was bored and decided to myself that it might be a nice thing to do to climb up a chimney. I was enjoying myself, before you started poking about with that broom - stick thing of yours. Well now, I have had enough fun for the day. I better head off. Goodnight lads! Have a good one on me. And don't drink too much wine...'
So the giraffe was heading home, but good gracious! It was hard to believe but the fire was still NOT working!
'There's still something else stuck up there,' said Frog. 'Here now, stand back, Pig. I am going to have another good old poke around! Let's see what we have got up there this time.'
So Frog did what he had to do, shoving his crutch right up into the chimney he had a darn good prod around.
Finally a huge fat old horse fell out of the chimney!
And bless my soul if it wasn't there old friend, Aradas!
'Ah! Aradas! Bless you! I am not surprised to see you stuck up in my chimney!' said Pig Brown.
'O I was not stuck my dear friend,' said Aradas. 'I was just taking my usual Sunday walk when I walked by your house and saw that the door was wide open and initially popping in to say hello, well, I saw this rather lovely looking chimney and so I thought to myself: why not start climbing up the thing? I love chimney's you know? You get such a lovely breeze on your face! It is quite refreshing!'
'Well if you like chimneys that much, Aradas you had better get climbing back up it then!'
'Well thank you, I think I will just d that right now!' and like a ferret down a rabbit hole, Aradas was climbing back up the chimney!
Outside Frog and Pig decided to gather a hill of brushwood and light it on fire.
'We will keep warm this way,' said Pig.
Frog asked Pig how he felt about a horse living inside his chimney, and Pig replied:
'O! It does not bother me. If he is happy, then so am I!'
'That is great to hear,' said Frog. 'Now let me tell you what makes me happy! This fine bottle of wine I have been keeping back. My gouty old foot won't like it, but ah well, we have to find a way to celebrate such a merry day as this!'
'I could not agree with you more,' the Pig replied.
After that, drinks were poured, and the two friends wiled away the evening cheered by the wine and warmed by the fire!
What a wonderful day it had been all around for everyone, especially the horse stuck up the chimney!
(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
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