I managed to get the door open...
stay away! stay away!
I wanted to see what was inside.
I had seen the building all my life... Ever since I began to make sense of the dark.
Even when I moved away, the building stayed and played in my mind.
It would not leave me alone.
I had to go in.
I had to go back.
It was the only way.
I had to find a way to snuff out the candle dream.
Maybe then I might be able to sleep better...
... Or even sleep at all.
And that is why I opened the door.
O forgive me sweet conscience for I opened the door!
Leave me! Leave me! Don't ruin the dream...
There was no such thing as time in that old place.
It was the same inside as it had always been ever since the doors closed.
I could smell the life that once was in all that was dead.
Everything was clear to me inside the shadows.
I could see the light in the dark corners.
Everything made sense in the shade.
I could see myself on the marble of the floor. There was still oil in the old lamps - but no light made a trick in the rooms of the old building. The darkness there was not for the lack of the sun - it was with the memory of what had been done.
This is how it has always been. This is how I want it. This is how I have always wanted it to be...
I opened the curtains.
It was growing quite dark outside.
I felt cold.
Maybe it was time for me to leave...
Just a few steps more...
This was my last chance.
At the top of the stairs the hall made a slight turn as it led into the bedroom.
The sheets had been laid, fresh and all straight, not a crease. Like no one had ever slept in it.
A painting had fallen on the floor...
I walked over and knelt to my knee to look at it...
What a window it held in its frame.
Drawn by a hand from a vision into life.
What I saw in that window was life.
I felt water burning under my eyelids and on my cheeks.
I understood the truth in the thing that I saw. That window had opened the door onto something that had long escaped me to so great an extent I had never really thought about it before.
In that room, kneeling on the floor, I finally understood the meaning to it all.
The sight of thee, walking in the debris...
...Nothing, inside nothing.
Stark as snow, and just as alone, a memory that never was - not one at least that was with me, and most likely shall never be - lest the world take mercy on me.
Not a step more!
Let the curtains fall.
It is a sad thing, I must say, and I speak truly when I say this:
My dreams died there in the webs and in the dust.
(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
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