It Happens At Night 21: Disaster Date!

There she was across the road...

  Bolly...

  Freddy's love.

  She was already partnered up with a new man by the look of things and her belly was swelling with signs of growing babe.  As the couple walked the streets hand in hand the couple smiled at each other pausing momentarily to kiss.  She walked right by Freddy like she had never met him before in her life.  It broke Freddy's heart in three ways and then four.

  But yes - it was the shocking size of the woman that shocked Freddy the most more so than the ease in which she had obtained a fresh partner.

  She looked massive!

  She was definitely pregnant.

  Now Freddy got thinking about this.  Such matters were probably not worth the effort, but he couldn't help himself.  This was his wife, once, the love of his life.  How did she become pregnant?

  Freddy was a million percent certain that he was not the father as he and Bolly never slept together not once not even on their wedding day, and on the honeymoon Bolly insisted that Freddy sleep in the jungle alone with the snakes (they went on a trip to the Darién Gap).  

  The father couldn't possibly be the new man, Freddy never took any interest in biology at school (he was more interested in reading The Hobbit) but he was quite certain babies didn't grow that quickly...

  So that meant that the baby had to belong to non other than Corta Boa Almoço the dreaded Brazilian warlord!

  The very thought of Bolly carrying the seed of that dreadful monster of a man filled Freddy with such a deep and heavy depression that he walked back home and put a taut piece rope around his throat.  He was seconds from kicking the stool away when he thought better of it, thinking: "No way!  This is going to hurt too much!  And what if I end up going to hell like my poor mate Mr McGregor!"

  So instead he decided to do something equally as suicidal and depressing and start using a dating website.

  It was time for Freddy to find love again with somebody new.

  So Freddy booted up his laptop and switched on the dreaded website.

  Ah!  It was a sad business indeed...

  At first he thought he had clicked on the wrong site and he was starring at clips of Peter Jacksons Lord of the Rings movie trilogy but when Freddy realised that these were actually women he was looking at and not orcs he took a deep breath and started to scroll through the varying profiles.

  And scroll.

  And scroll.

  And scroll.

  And as depressing as it must be to read those words again and again well that is how it was for Freddy on that website.

  Finally he settled on someone:

  Joanne.  46.  Busty (which in layman's terms means fat).  Unemployed.  Two children.

  Okay!  So Freddy sent her a message.  

  Hi there!  My name is Freddy.  I am a nice guy.  Let's meet up for drinks sometime and get to know each other better.

  To Freddy's utter disbelief she responded!

  Freddy almost fell off of his chair!

  The other thing that shocked him was that she seemed rather keen about the business of meeting up.

  He felt that there was something peculiar about her enthusiasm...  But o well!  Freddy suggested the Grill and Bar would be a fine and fun place to serve as their meeting ground and she agreed and so the date was set!

  Marvellous!

  The date was set for that evening, but an hour before they met Freddy did what he always did when going on a date and that was check out the toilets...

  So he made his way over to the Grill and Bar and the first thing he did was check out the mens room.  Why?  Because he wanted to make sure they had a reachable window so that if the date was going badly he could excuse himself and then escape out of it.

  The Grill and Bar had a window in its toilets.  Beautiful.  'I think I can climb out of that thing if things go wrong,' Freddy said to himself.

  Freddy didn't realise it but there was a gentleman in one of the cubicles and he said, 'You do realise that talking to yourself is a sign of madness?'

  'Yes!  And madness is a sign of genius,' Freddy replied sarcastically.

  'And are you a genius?' said the man.

  Freddy returned with an honest reply: 'No.'

  And so came an end to that awkward conversation.

  

An hour later and Freddy was standing outside the Grill and Bar waiting for his date to arrive.

  He stood their checking his watch - she's late!  What if she doesn't turn up?

  Just then a fat stinking swelling dirty man walked out of the Grill and Bar.  Freddy almost bumped into him.  Freddy apologised to the man and then said to him politely, 'I don't suppose you have seen a lady by the name of Joanne?  It's just that we are supposed to be having a date this evening?'

  And the man replied loudly, 'Idiot!  I am Joanne!'

  O BLOODY HELL!

  Freddy was thrown into a wild panic.

  He had never seen such a... manly looking lady before...??

  'I have been waiting for you inside the bar for ages now!' she bellowed.

  Freddy knew that he was in a bad situation - but he decided to do his duty as a man and see the date through - and then there was always that lovely window in the toilet to escape through!  And so he took her great and beefy hand and led her back into the bar.

  Freddy tried looking at her, but it was hard work...

  She has signs of a beard!  Good lord how can that be?

  Freddy gulped.  He had never felt such a sense of fear not since he had been a prisoner of the cartel.  He could feel himself starting to get the shakes, and he was sweating like a man in withdrawal.  

  Stay calm Freddy stay calm!  Let the lady do the talking.  At least the food will be nice so at least there is that.  And don't forget that lovely delectable window...  It is always there waiting to save you!  Now!  Stay calm.  Try to remember the bravery your ancestors bore in the Battle of Hastings!  You are a man so act like one!  At least you have proven to the world that you can actually attract a woman... sort of...

  The walk towards the bar seemed to last a lifetime.  As they walked Freddy started developing coping mechanisms in his brain and they worked like this:

  She could be a lovely woman!  We could have a lot in common.  I bet we will spend a lovely day.  And at the end of the day it's not someone's looks that matter - NO!  It's personality.  And I am sure Joanne has a very lovely personality.

  I am sure...

  I am sure...

  I am sure...

  Eventually Freddy started trying to convince himself that Joanne wasn't bad looking after all.  She just look bad in the daylight.  But she was starting to look better in the shadowy darkness of the bar.

  Freddy was blown away by how big she was as well, big in all directions.  He felt that there was a genuine risk he might be swallowed into her vastness!

  Maybe that is her plan?  To consume me?  NO!  Stop speaking to me thou evil demons!  Go back to hell!

  She was a robust lady, and that is putting it politely.  Robust - "Yes that's it!"  That was how Freddy was going to describe her to his friends because well rude words like - fat, blubbery, swelling, smelling, hairy, pulsating, sweating, vaguely bearded - well those words would just not do.  Absolutely not.  

  Freddy was going to chose a table for them to sit to, but to his surprise Joanne had already set one up ready for them.

  Freddy felt that Joanne was slightly confused because there were already two huge and I mean huge men sitting at the table and so not wishing to offend her he said in a gentle voice,' Joanne.  I am sorry.  But it looks like that table is already occupied?'

  'Those are my sons you dunce!' she retorted.  'Now sit down!'

  Freddy did as he was told.

  Freddy sat down.

  As Freddy took his seat the two huge men dragged their chairs around and sat either side of him.

  My gosh!  What a duo of fearsome thugs were these fine pair indeed!  Tattooed and shaven they looked like they just gotten out of Belmarsh.  Freddy did not feel happy.  He was claustrophobic at the best of times and being jammed in together by these two beasts made him feel quite nauseous.

  Joanne plumped her vastness down on two chairs making the table in front of them shake as she came down and the first thing she said was this:

  'If you want to love me you must also love my sons.'

  Freddy new it was time for him to put his escape plan into action...

  'Okay,' said Freddy in a meek and wobbly voice.  'If you please excuse me I need to relieve myself in the mens room...  I drink a lot of water you see, Doctor says I need to keep myself hydrated.'

  'Don't be long,' said one of the lads.  'We have got our eye on you!'

  Freddy knew that it would look suspicious if he started running and so he stood up slowly and walked slowly, calmly towards the mens room.  He looked so natural, so at ease.  Nobody watching would have suspected that this was a man about to flee for his life.  That display of calmness was Freddy's acute survival instincts kicking in at just about the right time!

  But when Freddy finally gained entry of the mens room he violently broke down and started acting like a madman!  He was shaking and sweating.  He clasped at the window handle.  CLUNK!  O no!  That sound meant that the window was locked!  NO!  PLEASE NO!  FATE I BEG YOU DON'T DO THIS TO ME!  I KNOW I AM A SINNER BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS!

  No... wait.  There is the latch.  I will lift it.  Yes the window is opening!  YES!  I am finally free!  

  Freddy scrambled out of the window like a desperate soul.  Once his feet touched with the firm ground outside he started running like a man being chased by a bear and a rhino!

My great golly gosh how Awful was that?!

  "And NO!  I will not be doing that again!" Freddy thought as he closed the door on his house!

  And that was how the day ended.

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

There is a prequel to this story.  Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1

===========================================================

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

It Happens At Night 20: Big Secrets And Little Lies...

By the end of the night Freddy had managed to fill up eleven empty glass bottles with the leftovers of the party.  

  Eleven bottles filled to the brim with golden G-Juice.

  Wuan was very impressed.  'You have done well Freddy!' he said when the two men met in the gas station later the next day.

  'Now to work!  This is where the real magic begins... we are going to turn these ordinary bottles into expensive collectable items desired by the richest tastes in town!  Unlabelled these bottles are worthless, of course, but once I have finished weaving my spell these worthless dregs will sell for a fortune at auction.  You will see.  My plans do not fail in this business,' said Wuan confidently.  'But before we start tell me how did the party go?'

  'It was...well...' Freddy started stammering he just didn't know what to say.  'I suppose you could describe it as interesting?  A little strange... perhaps?  There were a lot of Franks cronies there, boring old businessmen talking gibberish went over my head.  I even manged to get into a fight as well, somehow, even though I was quiet and well-behaved all night.  This one chap started on me and I never even said thing to him!  But well, whatever, its done and over with now thank goodness.'

  The two men made their way down into the basement.  

  It was time to get to work and prepare the juice!

  Wuan worked all day through into the night!
  He was like a machine, never pausing, hands always moving, eyes darting back and forth as he shifted between his different tasks.  Next to his bubbling cauldron of molten wax he looked like a magician!  There was a huge pile of labels in the middle of the room, and Wuan started gluing these very carefully onto the bottles.  When this was done he sealed the bottles with the wax.  And then under the light with a magnifying glass in hand Wuan checked and rechecked and triple checked the labels, examining the seal and the stamp and the signature - everything had to look authentic or the deal was off.  

  Wuan explained that the collector labels were massively important to his business model.  'As I have explained to you before these labels are fakes.  They have been printed off from a photocopier!  Crazy I know.  I contaminate the paper I used for these labels to make them appear old but that is only the start of the process.  The key to selling these bottles is my personal performance as an actor.  Yes.  You heard me correctly, Freddy.  It is all about acting.  I have to lie to the people I do business with and I have to lie well enough so that my lies become the truth.  If I stammer or let my guard drop then my business partners in the G-Juice trade will quickly figure me out and then everything will be over for me.  Completely over.  Really OVER.  And I am talking about prison time here.'

  'Really?' Freddy sounded totally surprised, and he started shaking a little when this dark truth had been revealed to him.

  'Yes Freddy.  What we are doing here is COMPLETELY ILLEGAL...  This is forgery in its highest form.  We are selling a fake drink for a fake price!  We are committing a little crime called fraud Freddy.'

  'Fraud?  Gosh!  You have got me scared now, Wuan!  I...I didn't know we might end up getting arrested doing all of this?'

  'Yes Freddy.  If I were to ever be caught out and my business was exposed to the public it would be prison time for the both of us.  And a LOT of prison time as well.  Ten years possibly...'

  'I don't understand why I would go to prison as well?  None of this was my idea.  I didn't know what you were doing here until about three days ago!  Why would I be in trouble I don't get it?'

  'Because you are my accomplice, Freddy.  You stole the drink.  And you helped me seal these bottles.  You are part of the fake G-Juice business now Freddy whether you like it or not.  There is no way out for you.  If the universe decides to drop its favour for us then we will both be serving a sizable prison time.'

  'O no!  I don't like this!'

  'Calm down Freddy.  You have that look about you again!'

  'What look?'

  'Like a man in front of a firing squad!'

  'Well I kind of am!  I mean I know I am not facing guns right now but a prison sentence is just as horrible!  Look at it from my point of view, Wuan.  If you cock this thing up I could end up being put behind bars with the lads!  Look at me!  I am the kind of man who would get killed in prison... or worse... all sorts of things go on inside prison that I don't want to talk about.  No!  I think I would rather face a firing squad if I am honest with you if given the choice!'

  'Get a grip, Freddy,' Wuan replied with a chilly calmness.  'We are not going to lose.  Not with me in charge of things.  I never lose Freddy.  I have been in this business for six years and have never been caught and I have been working all over the world and I am happy to say that the people living here in Fenwick have proven to be the most stupid and the most easy to lie to.  We are going to win, Freddy.  We are going to become very rich!  Be happy.  These are going to be good times for us, you will see.  Now calm down.  Your negative energy is unsettling.  Breathe.  Relax.  Close your eyes.  Forget about the past.  Forget about the present.  Think about the future, for that is where the present place will always be...  block out all sounds in your ears and fill your mind with one thing...  Money, Freddy, the one thing we are going to have a lot of very soon...'

  'It's not working, Wuan!  I am still really scared right now...  I think I want out...!'

  'That is impossible, Freddy, for two reasons.  ONE.  You need to pay off your debts.  You are in debt to a lot of very dangerous people, Freddy.  TWO.  If I fail and go to prison I will make sure you have a nice little prison cell of your own to enjoy.  A nice small jail cell filled with one, maybe two very dangerous men in need of a very gentle punchbag with a name starting with F.'

  'Wuan!  I thought you were my mate?'

  'I am your friend, Freddy.  I am going to help you grow rich.  But you have to believe in my skill as a forger and a liar.  Now quit your negativity before it brings us both down!'

  'Okay...uh...I might need a drink before we really get started with this...'

  'Have a glass of gold, Freddy, on me.'

  'Thank you.'

  With a quivering hand Freddy brought the drink up spilling most of it before it reached his lips.

  So what was going to happen next?

  It was time for Freddy to find out.

  'I am inviting some friends over tonight for a drink tasting session.  I think it would be a good thing for you to be there and experience the process in its fullness,' said Wuan.

  Freddy agreed to stay for the tasting session.

  Wuan had a room in the back which was reserved for guests.  The room was equipped with several chairs and a bar loaded with bottles of drink, mostly G-Juice of course.  Wuan later described the room as a set created on purpose to allow him to act and entertain the crowd.  'It is a stage made for me to strut and fret my hour, as Shakespeare once wrote!'

  One by one the guests started to arrive.

  Wuan seemed to know them all by their name, shaking their hands and exchanging pleasant words as they came in, these people seemed to be his personal friends.

  They were a colourful bunch: tall, thin, short, bolding, bulging, smart, sharp, blunt, silly, stupid and whimsical.

   As odd as they all were they were united by ONE thing, their love for the G-Juice.  Freddy was very soon to learn that these people were true G-Juice connoisseurs of the highest order, the elite among the lovers of that particular drink.  

  As everyone started carousing Wuan took Freddy to a quiet corner and started whispering these words into his right ear:

  'Most of these people are part of a club known as The Juicers.  They are as arrogant as they are rich. all of them own businesses selling G-Juice.  There are one or two souls here who inherited their wealth, but the bulk of them are professionals with a stake in the G-Juice trade.  They covet the purple drink more than they do their own health, and they are indeed an unhealthy bunch as you may observe; drunks and smokers all...  Look at that fat man over their with a cigar in his mouth - he should have died long ago!  But somehow the juice keeps them going.  These people here with us tonight will spend a true fortune on a bottle of the purple, and they will NEVER drink it. Think about it!  They are buying literal blackcurrant juice that they will never drink!  But there is an old saying: fools money and separation, which is something you are about to bear witness to!  Now if you don't mind Freddy I must return to my guests!  They need drinking and entertaining (And then Wuan whispered one last whisper - watch me at work Freddy!).'

  And work he did!

  All night.

  He didn't stop.

  What an incredible actor Mr Wuan was.  A true poet!

  Wuan knew how to talk and how to entertain.  He had a natural talent for it.  The words just flowed out of him like water from a well.  And he was managing to sell the juice right and left, placing bottles of the stuff in peoples hands left and right.  

  It was a remarkable scene to see!

  It was more than business it was more than work - it was art!

  Freddy was truly impressed.  In fact if an outsider ever asked Freddy what he thought about Wuan he really would not know what to say other than, 'He is the best actor I have never seen on television!'

  Wuan even managed to sell a bottle of alcoholic Ribena to the master vintner and renown G-Juice collector James Weston.  James later described the contaminated fruit juice as - delectable and the finest of its kind.

'The world is full of fools and geniuses and foolish geniuses,' said Wuan later that night after the party was over and all the drunks had cleared out back to their brothels and bars.  'Think about Mozart,' Wuan continued, 'the man was deceased at 35.  Dissolved into the ground!'

  'O well Yes.  I suppose there is that,' Freddy replied.  Freddy felt like Wuan was drunk and talking nonsense - but yet he did not remember seeing the man put a single drop of liquid to his lips all night...  How strange?

  Wuan continued with his strange speech:

  'And yet the spirit of Mozart still plays on to this day.  This mere thought just amazes me,' he said.  

'The idea of life being life is just an idea, and the idea of life lives in dreams.  Tonight was a dream, Freddy, what happens next is life.'

  Good Lord!  What was Wuan talking about?  Freddy was deeply confused but for the sake of peace he pretended that he could understand what Wuan was talking about and agreed with him saying, 'It's all true my friend.'

  'This is life,' Wuan went on.  And then he opened a safe to reveal that it was full of cash: notes.  'We made ten thousand tonight, Freddy,' he said.  He talked in a cold almost robotic voice.  Freddy was happy to see the money but the fraudsters robotic voice and mannerisms sent a chill down almost all parts of his body (But that might also be because he had forgotten to put a vest on that morning).  'And we will make the same amount again next time,' Wuan continued.  'Here is your share my friend.  You are four grand closer to paying off your debts, Freddy.  Enjoy.'

  'This is amazing Wuan!' Freddy exclaimed.  'I can't believe you made all this money in one night just by selling blackcurrant juice to people!  Mr Robinson would be proud!'

  Wuan returned with a sly smile and then he said, ominously, 'It is the dream, Freddy.  And life is just the spectator of the dream...'

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

There is a prequel to this story.  Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1

===========================================================

Also take a look at:

My Games
Play Give 'em Hell
Play Elfin Quest
Witches Brew a short text based adventure game!
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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

It Happens At Night 19: Cocktails And Hot Tales - What A Night!

The party was on and Freddy was there ready to do what he had to do.

  The original plan was for Freddy to pretend to be drunk.

  BUT - because Freddy could not act his way out of a teabag he decided to just get drunk in real life, something that was easy for him to do, and wait for the guests to leave so he could steal the dregs from their unfinished cups.  

  It was a lively night full of lively folk.  The first of 2026 was three days old and people were mainly talking about how they celebrated the arrival of the New Year...

  'Well I celebrated the arrival of the New Year in my usual fashion by climbing up a chimney!'

  This was Phil talking.  Phil was an old boy and one of Franks cronies in the brewery industry and boy did the old boy like talking my golly gosh!  He could talk for England and half of Wales too!

  'Climbing a chimney, hey?  What's that all about?' said Jo another one of Franks cronies.

  'The climbing of the chimney on New Years day is an old tradition that stems back five generations.  In Ireland its called Leprechauns Luck,' Phil explained.

  Everyone asked Phil to speak more about Leprechauns Luck because nobody in the room had ever heard about it before.

  So Phil explained the odd ritual to his friends:

  'So here it is.  You take a glass of whiskey, Irish obviously, in your right hand, and with your left hand you climb up a chimney.  Once you get up on the roof you slide down to the ground without spilling your drink!  When you land on your feet you drown your whiskey in one go.  That part is important.  ONE GO!  And if you are still standing at the end of it that means you are going to have a good year!  Every year since my dear old mother cranked me out into the world I have been playing Leprechauns Luck - yep!  I used to fancy my chances climbing chimneys even as a babe in arms!  Babies were stronger back in the old days than they are now.  They had to be because of the war.  IN 1942 after the occupation most boys were fighting from the age of four.  The thinking was that if Hitler can recruit children from the age of nine, we will beat him to the punch and recruit children the moment they can begin to walk!  Ruthless but necessary.  The Third Rheich had twelve million men armed and we Fenwickians had twelve people armed so we needed the numbers.  Babies had to learn to fight like the adults.  It was the only way to win back our beloved freedom.'

  'So are you going to have a good year then?' said Jo.

  'No.  I spilt my drink halfway up the chimney,' Phil replied.  'It doesn't matter!  I still had a lot of fun!'

  That was when Vincent wheeled himself into the room.

  He had been listening to the conversation and he wanted to say his piece on the matter:

  'I would love to climb a chimney,' he said.  'But well...my legs wouldn't agree with such things.'

  'Don't be silly!' Phil replied.  'There is a way to do anything these days.  We will find a way to get you up a chimney!'

  'I once read a book about a horse that liked to climb chimneys.  It was called Aradas I think...  written by a a really weird guy...  Can't remember his name,' said Jo pensively.

  'Never heard of such a book,' said Phil bluntly.

  'Not many people have,' Jo replied solemnly.  'I think I might be the only person who has ever read it!'

  Among the guests was a finely dressed gentleman by the name of Simian Farquhar.  

  Now Simian was old school and of aristocratic breeding.  He owned several factories, a dock and he was Franks partner in the brewery business.  He had been standing there all night listening to all this talk about chimneys and horses and leprechauns and felt that there was a need to change the topic of conversation and so that is what he did.  

  'Annie and I stayed in a hotel in Hampshire last week.  What a lovely part of the country that is, very green and very fine full of flowing meadows and gentle country lanes!  Marvellous!' he said.  'One fine morning I took my bitch for a walk across the fields!'

  Freddy, who had been drinking quietly up until that moment felt like he had to stand up and say something about Simians manner of language.

  'Excuse me Mr Farquhar,' he said gently.  'I know you grew up in the old days, but with respect this is the year 2026 and you just can't talk about women like that anymore.'

  'I was talking about Sally, a thoroughbred greyhound who follows me everywhere!  How dare you!' Simian returned aggressively.

  'O!  I do apologise.  I...I didn't realise you were talking about a dog,' Freddy replied meekly.

  'No?  Really?' Simian came back at Freddy hotly.  'But then boys of YOUR generation realise so little!' he continued speaking in a demeaning way.  'My father fought in the war!  And who are you boy?  Who do you think you are to speak to me?  Frank!  Frank!' Simian called his friend over.  'Who is this boy you keep in your company?  I do not recognise him from past gatherings?'

  Frank explained that Freddy was new to the business and a very good friend.

  But Simian had been offended and he didn't want to let it drop.

  Simian was a great hefty man, well bred and well fed and the kind of man who hunted his food in the forests like his ancestors who served in the court of Henry the VIII.  He was the kind of man who could tackle a boar, tusks and all.  He ploughed his way through the crowds of people towards the bar and poured himself a good sized glass of Irish Whiskey before turning back round to face Freddy again.

  He came charging back pointing a finger and started hurling insults directly at the man.

  'Men of your generation are a disgrace!' he bellowed.  'What do they call your sort these days?' he said to Freddy.  'Gen Z is it?  Zoomer!  You bloody Zoomer!  I don't like any of or your kind.  You Zoomers think that you know it all!  Ha!  You know nothing I tell you nothing!  You are just a boy!  All of you Zoomers are boys!  What do you know about hard work?  I bet you have never worked a single day in your life have you?  Bedridden video game addicted vermin the lot of you that is what you are!  What kind of world will you inherit when the time comes eh?  What is your plan when your pathetic loser generation finally takes over?'

  'Well actually I am forty years old and I run a funeral business,' said Freddy politely.

  For some reason this response enraged Simian even further that the great man finally raised a fist!  But before he could take the shot Frank stepped in front of him and started trying to calm the country-bred man down.

  'Freddy is good.  He is one of us,' said Frank in a pleasant manner.  'He saved the business.  Helped us beat the Brazilians in the war.  You need to pipe down Simian and show him a little of respect.  If you keep carrying on like this then I will have to throw you out!  Are you listening?'

  'Yes!  Sorry Frank.  It's the whiskey!  I say again I am sorry.  But I am not going to apologise to that sly Zoomer.  NO sir!  That won't be happening not even if you paid me!  I am going to go for a walk instead.'

  'Sounds like a good idea, Simian.  Calm down and then come back when you are ready.  Remember, there are more free drinks to enjoy!'

  'You are a good sort, Frank.  I will see you in a minute.'

  And it was literally a minute before Simian returned - ready for a second crack at Freddy!

  Simian glugged his second glass of Irish before turning slowly round and returning to face Freddy again.

  Freddy tried avoiding the great man by walking away, but with a few large strides Simian managed to back the weak middle-aged man into a corner.

  There was to be no escape for Freddy from this crazy drunk person...

  So Simian started his new barrage of insults for Freddy starting thus:

  'By the time I was your age I had fought in battles and seen the world!  Do you have a wife, Freddy?  Or are you one of those miserable loner loser fools.  You have the look of a loner loser Freddy boy.' 

  'Well actually I do have a wife and we are are recently divorced.'

  When Simian heard this he laughed in Freddy's face.  When he had finished he said this:

  'Let me guess.  This woman you were supposedly married to - she was a figment of your imagination, right?  Or was she a character in one of your stupid video games?'

  'No!  She was real!  We met in Thailand!' said Freddy.

  Simian made a O shape with his mouth and continued with the insults saying, 'Thailand hey?  Got any pictures to prove it?'

  Freddy dug out one of the pictures of him and Bolly during the wedding, the one where she was holding him lovingly with both hands around his throat and looking like she was going to bite him, when really she was going to give him a tender kiss... of course...

  'I may be old school but I know a picture that has been photoshopped when I see one,' said Simian.

  Freddy asked Simian what he meant by this because the picture was genuinely genuine.  Freddy grew up using Amiga 1200's and couldn't photoshoot a bee in a photo of a beehive.

  Simian continued:

  'The woman in that picture.  I have seen her loads of times before when my wife wasn't around.  She is a model.  There are pictures of her everywhere on the internet posing with that big Brazilian guy, you know the one who disappeared a week ago?  So you are single now, eh?'

  'Yes.'

  'I knew so!  So you have only got one woman to your name, hey loser Zoomer?' and Simian laughed with his whiskey laced breath in Freddy's face.  'I thought so.  Loser!  I have had loads of women in my day but then I wasn't called Freddy, hey!?  Freddy!?  What a stupid name you have.  Boy.  A stupid name for a stupid boy.  Boy.  Freddy boy.  Freddy.  Loser Zoomer.  Freddy plays his video games while Freddy lets his wife play with other men.'

  Now listen to this.

  Freddy was not a fighter.

  Freddy was used to being insulted by stronger men.  He could absorb insults like a blob that can absorb matter.  In fact in another universe he might have actually been a blob and who knows earned himself a little bit of success (and maybe some respect and dignity) staring alongside Steve McQueen in a movie with the same name.

  But in the present universe Freddy was a soft and weak man who accepted that he was the plaything of the stronger men...

  Until that day came.

  On that day things changed.

  Like I explained Freddy could take harsh words like a bat can take a ball, but when people talked dirty about his beloved and beautiful Bolly well now that was a different matter.  

  This is what Freddy said:

  'Listen, Simian Farquhar!  My friend Vincent over there may be dead from the waist down but at least he has dignity.  But you on the other hand?  You wear your sins on your sleeve: disgusting and dirty for all to see.  Yeah.  And my name is Freddy.  Stupid name I know.  But seriously who calls their child Simian Fat Twat?  You are dumb, you are stupid, you are out of shape out of fashion out of time.  Now sod off!  Go crawling back to your bitch Sally and the lonely fields you walking in.  Dog!'

  'I want to fight you Freddy!  Outside now!' Simian started rolling up his sleeves.  'Let us do this.  Fist on fist.  Man against man!  Winner takes all.  And the last man I fought I broke his jaw!'

  'I am sick of this!  Fine!  I will fight you!' Freddy returned and then he started rolling up his sleeves as well.

  It was up to Frank to intervene yet again.

  Thankfully for Freddy he took Freddy's side, and with the help of a few others in the room Frank tackled the drunken toff to the ground and managed to roll him out of the door.  Simian would not be welcome back to the King estate not for a long time!

  'Not until he can learn some damn manners,' said Frank brushing himself down.  

  'Thank you for helping me Frank,' said Freddy.

  'No problem Freddy,' said Frank.  'He was rude to you for no reason.  He deserved putting in his place.  You stood up for yourself.  I am proud of you!  I look at you as a friend and I hope you look at me in the same way.'

  'You are a good friend Frank,' said Freddy.

  And when the party was over Freddy repaid his good friend Frank by stealing all of his booze!

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

There is a prequel to this story.  Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

BLOOD video game 1997

This is a dark nasty shooter game from the 90's and one of my personal favourites!

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

It Happens At Night 18: Fruity Juice And Fruity Lies...

'Whoever it was who said that money can't buy happiness MUST have definitely had A LOT of money in the bank,' said Freddy.  'You would have to be rich with money in the first place to say something stupid like that.'

  'I agree,' said Wuan.  'Money is the key to everything except when you are in a grave.'

  'I am glad that you see things my way,' Freddy returned politely.  'I can't stand people who try to turn a negative situation into something positive.  It's so stupid.  When something is bad it is bad.  I remember someone who lost their legs in a car accident and the doctor said - "O well look on the bright side of things at least you are still alive!"  There is no bright side to losing your legs!  It's a joke!  And let me tell you something else as well, Wuan, there is no bright side to owing people money.  And there are people out there who I owe a lot of money.  You know I was chased out of the UK by debt collectors?  Awful business.  I lost everything, my home friends and family.  The last few years for me have been filled with disaster after disaster.'

  'Hopefully we will be able to turn that around for you soon,' said Wuan positively.  'I have a plan that I think will be highly profitable for the both of us.  We are going to make a good team you and I, Freddy, you shall see.'

  'Do you mind sharing a little bit of this plan of yours with me?'

  'Happy to!  This very night I intend to open your eyes to my scheme...'

  'Sounds good.'

  'O it is good, Freddy.  Very good.  Now let us get this done.'

  Wuan led Freddy to the gas station.

  The building had a basement that could be accessed by opening a door on the other side of the counter.  Behind this door there was a set of wooden steps leading down into a pitch dark room.  

  Once they were both standing down on the ground Wuan switched the lights on and that was when Freddy saw it: Wuan's workshop.  

  Now this was where the REAL business went on, by the look of things.

  There were empty glass bottles on shelves and heaps of old labels stacked up in little bundles on the floor.

  'I melt the wax here in this container, nothing special, I just warm the wax up over the stove.  But these seals here are what really matter when it comes down to the serious business of things.  Now Freddy pick up and hand me one of those labels.  That's it!  Now look at this.  This is French, Alsace, see that signature there below the print of the bottles name?  It's fake.  The label is merely a copy.  I soak the labels in tea water and leave them to dry out like this in open.  Gives them an aged look.  Here is a bottle that is already labelled.  Looks authentic, doesn't it?  I seal the bottle with wax and nobody will know the difference between an original and a fake.'

  'Wait a second Wuan!  What is all this? Is this your money making plan to have us seal glass bottles?' said Freddy.

  Freddy was alarmed by what he saw.  The basement looked like a madman's laboratory!  O NO!  Had Freddy fallen foul of another crazy person?  It certainly looked to be that way!

  'Yes, Freddy, that is what we are doing.  But the bottles need to be filled first before I sell them.  And that is where YOU come in,' said Wuan, ominously.  

  'I cannot see where I can be a help in any of this,' Freddy replied.

  'O you will be a Great help.  You are the KEY to my enterprise.  I see the startled expression on your face!  Please calm down and allow me to explain myself,' said Wuan peacefully.  'I need to fill these bottles with G-Juice.  And then I will add colouring to make the liquor appear green instead of gold.  A G-Juice that is the colour green is considered one of the original productions from the 90s.  There were only ever nine hundred of them produced allegedly.  Green juice sells for thousands at an auction.  Are you starting to see what I am trying to do here?  I have the bottles and I have the labels, I just need the juice.  Unfortunately I do not own my own distillery but your friends the Kings do.  And that is where you figure in on things, my dear Freddy.  This is what you need to do to make this enterprise a success: You must steal the King's G-Juice and bring it to me anyway possible!  Ah!  And there I see that look of dread in your expression but please be at ease my dear Freddy.  The operation will be easier than you think.'

  'I cannot see how?' said Freddy nervously.  'You want me to steal from the most powerful family in town, a people who are actually my friends.  That sounds pretty bad to me!'

  Freddy wanted to pull out...

  But sadly here was too deep in...

  And of course he needed the money!

  'Calm down Freddy!  Stop looking like you are standing in front of a firing squadron!  The task I have for you is simple,' said Wuan, and then he explained his plan in full.

  This was it:
  'Tonight the Kings are holding a party with some of their Italian American friends from New York.  You will be there as well.  You will remain sober for the whole night but feign that you are drunk so that they will not suspect you of anything nefarious (nefarious? - Freddy thought.  What did he mean by that?).  They will be drinking G-Juice of course of the golden variety.  When everyone is asleep you are to collect and drain all of the half empty cups and glasses into my bottles, and return them to me!  I will do the rest.'

  'I am vexed, Wuan.  SO you just want me to collect dregs?'

  'Yes.  And any unopened battles.  Bring them back to me.'

  'And then what?'

  'Then your job is done.  The rest will be my problem.'

  'I am still very nervous about this Wuan.  Please tell me more.'

  'Once you bring the bottles to me I will dye them green and label them as originals and sell them at auction or at G-Juice meetings.  I know my bottles will sell well for many thousands of pounds.  Passionate collectors will want to own a bottle of green.  But better than a bottle of green is a bottle of purple.  I sold a purple once for ten thousand.  Purple G-Juice is the most coveted of all.'

  'What do you use for colouring?'

  'Apple juice for the green and Ribena for the purple.'

  'You dilute the drink with Ribena and you have never been caught?'

  'Never.  Never and not once not ever.'

  'This is mad!'

  'And highly profitable,' Wuan replied confidently.  'I Know it works I have done it before.  'This is not my first venture into the fake G-Juice trade.  My original supplier disappeared...sadly...somewhere.  You are there replacement!  I know there is a lot of money to be made in this business.  A bottle of white will sell for twenty, a bottle of gold fifty, but a green anywhere from three thousand to five.  And a purple, well the skies the limit!'

  'This all sounds just all too good...'

  'Because it is,' Wuan replied with a hint of smugness.

  'Okay Wuan.  I have had a little think and I say I can do this for sure!  Leave it to me.  I will smuggle myself in with the Kings and their party tonight, it should not be too difficult for me to do that, and I will fill your bottles up!' said Freddy cheerily.  'But before we begin can I ask yet another question and you do not have to answer it but I would like to know how long have you been in this fake G-Juice business?'

  'It is a lives work,' Wuan replied proudly.  'My family in Singapore own a winery, and several wine shops.  They are financing this operation and producing the the fake labels for me.  It is my job just to make the labels look old and I find tea water works very well for such an operation.  You can say I am part of a global conspiracy if you will!'  Wuan chuckled slightly after he said that, before proceeding with his speech.  This is what he said next:

  'My family have been passionate about G-Juice for decades now.  My grandfather bought and still owns one of the original bottles from 1991.  Nobody in my family could bring themselves to drink it.  The bottle is surrounded by mystery.  There is a story behind it preposing that its contents contains the original recipe conceived by the mad genius who first perfected the juice, the remarkable and little well known scientist Ivan Gustav.  Whether the story is true or not it matters little because people believe the story when we tell it to them and the bottle is currently priced at the fine sum of five hundred thousand.  But we will never sell it.  Why would we do such a thing?  Sell a piece of history?  Would you sell the Monalisa if you owned it?  Of course you would not!  Such treasures are few and far between, and should be contained and possessed with a fury!'

  Freddy listened to those words and was thinking slyly to himself, "Damn if I had the original Monalisa I would sell it right away!" but instead he decided to respond with these few and very carefully picked words, 'Yes.  You are right Wuan.  History is priceless.'

  'You are a very intelligent man Freddy,' Wuan replied.  'I am glad to know you!  We are going to be very good business partners together!  I wish we could celebrate our collaboration with a glass of La muerte de la Lengua.'

  WHAT WAS THAT?!?!

  'It is a very fine drink whose main ingredient includes the liver of the Greenland Shark in purée form.  Once ready connoisseurs lase the drink with deadly flowers, belladonna and the like anything of the Brugmansia genus!  You need to drink around the flowers lest you wish to die!  It is the perfect drink for a man who wants to end his days!'

  'Sounds wonderful,' said Freddy.

  'Yes!  It is the best drink of them all.  It is like the jellyfish beautiful BUT deadly.'

  'Ah well!  We better get on with business then!'

  'And indeed we shall!  The party is tonight.  Let us do this and do it well.'

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

There is a prequel to this story.  Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1

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It Happens At Night 17: Dreams, Graves And Money...

It was time for Freddy to do some begging.

  Freddy was broke to the brim.

  The wars were over and there was nobody left to burry so Freddy was not in a position to rely on the burial business at the moment for an income - and even if there was a full-blown war in motion it was going to take a lot of bodies to fill his coffers up to the fine tune of 35G's...

  So what were Freddy's options?

  He knew he was shooting for the stars but he decided to start with his uncle...

  Maybe the decrepit old spider had a pot of cash hidden away in his rickety home somewhere...  Freddy had worked with the man for years but Uncle Lucien was still a grave mystery to him (no pun intended!!!!!!!!!).  Lucien had been digging up graves long before Freddy's mother had cranked Freddy out screaming into the wide and wicked rotten vile beastly dreadful disgusting world.

  Maybe the old crooked and corrupt man had a treasure or two stowed away from all his years of playing about with the dead?

  It was worth asking him anyway.

  So one day Freddy plucked up the courage to ask his uncle about his personal finances.

  'I don't spend money on anything Freddy because I do not have any money,' his uncle replied.  'These clothes I am dressed in right now?  Want to know where I came by them?  They were used to dress a dead man I dug up twelve years ago.  I thought he wore nice clothes.  I knew the man before he died and I knew that he was sick.  So I waited for him to die and then I dug him up and took what I needed.'

  'Why are you telling me this?' said Freddy.

  'Well isn't it obvious?  I don't have money.  NO money stored away.  NO bank account.  NO credit cards.  NO online thingamajigs.  NO MONEY!  I don't store money,' said Lucien.  'If I want something I simply steal it.  Stealing has always been my way.  The world stole from me once something very precious to my heart...  SO I don't mind stealing back from the world - I will give the world back in kind what the world gave to me.  I will keep on stealing until the day the world steals me back into the Earth.  And that day might happen very soon...'

  'You really are a miserable old swine!'

  'Yes.  I am.  And it has taken you this long, over how many ears we have known each other to realise this reality?  Tut tut!  You are quit dim aren't you Jim!'

  'Hey?'

  'Ah!  Sorry.  Freddy!  I was meant to say you are quite dim aren't you Freddy?'

  'I hope you do die soon, uncle Lucien.  You are blight on this planet!'

  'O you will get your wish soon,' Uncle Lucien replied coldly, and also with a note of jollity as well!

  'Why are you so vile?'

  'The world, Freddy!' replied the crooked and spindly old man.  'The world made me what I am.  You will be like me one day IF you manage to live that long.'

  'Thanks.  I guess that is a kind of a compliment from you?'

  'NO, Freddy.  It isn't.  But listen to this!  We need another war right now.  It is the peace that is killing you!  You need to figure out a way to get the gangs back to fighting one another again.  It is the only way.  Get another war brewing, which should be easy to do with a trick or two, and you will have bodies pouring back into the ground again and cash pouring back into your pockets!  There is a lot of money to be made from death, don't you know?'

  'You would know, wouldn't you?  You old wretch you!  You old spider!  You are a wicked man!  I have nothing more to say to you.  Goodnight!'

It was now time for Freddy to stretch a word or two of measured desperation to his other friends.

  His next stop was the Kings Residency.

  'Ah!  Wonderful to see you Frank!' said Freddy as the man himself let him inside his guest room.

  There were drinks setup and Frank was in the middle of playing a game of pool with the dreaded Mr LA Thins, leader of New York and all round American superstar.  

  Frank offered Freddy a drink but Freddy, thanking him, said no and he was here only to talk business.

  'I guess you would like to talk to me about that little co-owned funeral directing business we have got going on in the corner of town?' said Frank while chalking his cue up.

  'O no!  The funeral business is absolutely fine positively "top notch" as they say in Thailand.  No.  I am actually here to discuss a rather more personal matter...'

  'O really?  You do realise Freddy that I never take business personally?' And then Frank started chuckling.  'Look at you!  I am just joking with you!'  Frank stopped chuckling and with a friendly slap on Freddy's shoulder he continued:  'Of course Freddy!  What personal things would you like to talk about?  Is it concerning your failed marriage and recent divorce?  If it is then don't worry about it I am all ears.  We are friends Freddy and I am happy to help you out with that sort of thing.  And don't worry about Mr Thins here, he is a man of the world and the advocate of many divorces down through time and none of the break ups were related to any of his own personal marriages.  So go on, speak freely.  Tell us what is on your mind, Freddy.'

  'It has nothing to do with my divorce, well...I guess it does a little bit,' Freddy replied with a slight stammer.  Evidently the conversation was not going well.  Frank had obviously got the wrong angle on why Freddy was there but Freddy pressed on nevertheless:

  'I find myself short of cash,' and then he came straight out with it, hoping that Frank would appreciate his directness.  He told Frank he needed a loan.

  'If you had asked me the other day I would have quite gladly given you a loan. But this morning I expanded the brewery into the east quarter of the town and it has soaked up all of my finances.  Sorry about that Freddy boy.  I am sure you will be alright int he end!  You strike me as a resourceful kind of chap.'

  So Mr Frank King has expanded his vast brewery empire to make it even bigger?  HOW NICE, Freddy thought.

  So that put an end to Freddy's hopes of acquiring a loan from his good friend.

  Freddy tried the bank next.

  The business with the bank went as badly as Freddy knew it would.

  The bank staff literally laughed at him, one person saying:  'Hey mate!  You do realised the comedy theatre is situated at the end of Gloom Street, first turn on your left from the Western Road?'

  Freddy acknowledged defeat and decided to give up asking for money.

  It was obvious nobody wanted to give him any of the stuff.

  The only option that was available to him then was to waste what little money he had left and get drunk...

  Now getting drunk was the one thing Freddy had promised himself to never do again but getting drunk was the only thing that was going to help him forget about his general failure as a man, which is what he felt like he needed to do at the time.

  And so Freddy rustled his credit card out of his coat pocket and bought himself a rather fine looking bottle of the G-Juice.  It was sitting there staring at him from behind a shop window.  His name had been written on it in invisible letters: Dear Freddy - Drink Me, they read.

  DRINK ME NOW!

  Not willing to disappoint the bottle Freddy made ready to act on the message.

  One swipe of the card one click of the bottle lid one tilt of the hand and his gullet was gushing and brimming with the goodly juice.  Ah!  What a happy place it was to be, swimming in the G!

  That night while his brain was awash with the Juice, and his liver was dank with the contents of a second bottle, Freddy got a little visit from the ghost of his old friend Jim McGregor King, the war veteran who used to own the drinking house up the road from Freddy's old flat.

  Jim was so drunk that the sight of the worm ridden man did not offend him in the least, in fact he invited McGregor into his room and found him a nice chair to sit down on.  

  Freddy asked the old lad how well he was doing.

  'To be honest I am doing quite badly right now Freddy boy,' McGregor responded honestly.  'The life of a dead man is not what its cracked up to be...  I thought death was going to be like, you know, like sleep?  So I got a rather nasty and unhappy surprise when my time finally came and I found myself stuck in another dimension and surrounded by ghouls...  and other things.  Damn!  Why couldn't I get into some kind of heaven-like place?  Somewhere nice, you know what I mean?  I am a war veteran I deserve a break don't I?  But then again I did do a lot of nasty stuff back in the day.  I teamed up with the gangs, got involved with all of the fighting.  I sheltered thugs, and helped kill thugs.  I guess I do deserve what I got in the end.  This is purgatory for me Freddy and it is a miserable thing.  There is no release.  Death is somehow more unhappy than life!  But ah well here I am and all I can do is get on with it I guess.'  

  'You sound so sad McGregor!'  Freddy offered his friend a drink.

  McGregor said he would love to have a drink but then he had to explain that he was unable to drink anything anymore now that he was bereft of a solid body.  BUT:

  'There is a little trick I heave learned that does work just as well as the real thing,' said the old dead man.  'Let me put my hand inside your body and grab your liver!  When you next take a drink I can enjoy a bit of it for myself!  What I will do is absorb the alcohol into my essence!  Can we do that?'

  It looked like McGregor's hand was made of vapour.  With Freddy's reluctant permission McGregor slotted his hand into Freddy's liver, and when Freddy took down his next slug of booze McGregor sighed with joy!  McGregor could taste the G-Juice!  'That tasted so good Freddy boy!' said the hungry ghost.

  'So what do you do now that you are dead?' said Freddy to his old dead friend.

  'Pretty much the same thing I used to do when I was alive - wander around - get lost, that kind of thing.  People still ignore me wherever I go.  But at least nowadays it makes sense because nobody can see me!'

  'Sounds like a bad business,' Freddy replied.  'Here McGregor I will take another drink just for you!  Just keep hold of that old liver of mine!'

  'Thank you Freddy!'  The ghost sighed again and afterwards continued to waffle on.  He was boring to listen to, as always, it was always McGregors way to ramble about silly things, but Freddy was still glad of the company and happy to listen to the old Scotch and his random prattlings.

  'My son won't speak to me,' said McGregor.  'But then he never used to even when I was alive.  He is still playing that weird video game, what's it called again?  The Silly Hedgehog Brothers?  I never understood the darn appeal of those video games.  But my son plays them all day.  He never leaves his bedroom.  You know he didn't even leave his room to visit me at my funeral?  Let me tell you something Freddy and this is true, I am fully ashamed of my son.  You know it is because of me he is alive?  And it is because of him that I am dead.  You know my pub burned down?  That upset me when I saw that.  Without my pub I am nothing.  In a strange sort of way I am glad to be dead.  I have nothing to live for.  Drifting about in liminal space seems to make more sense than living.  Living is a waste of time.  I mean we are all going to end up in purgatory one day so we might as well stop wasting time trying to live and get to the place right away and be done with it.'  

  'I am sorry to hear that,' said Freddy.  'You are one of the few people in this town who has absorbed more bad luck than me.  I don't think there is no cheering ourselves up right now!  G-Juice has a trick of cheering up most lost wanderers of the world, but when the wanderer gets too lost then sometimes not even the Juice has the way of leading the way.'

  'Ah!  You are right, Freddy, it is a sad thing,' replied the ghost wearily.

  McGregor and Freddy decided it was time to get some fresh air and took a walk in the streets.

  They stopped together eventually at the turning that led away from Blight Court Road.  There was a copse of pine trees lurking nearby and beyond that a stretch of grassy land.  On that land was built the old Church of Fenwick.  Beyond the Church was a field and standing in the field was a lonely old shed.

  'I wonder who lives in that old rickety shed yonder?' said McGregor wonderingly.

  'An old rickety man who just so happens to be my uncle, unfortunately,' Freddy replied darkly.  'He is a miserable so and so to say the least.  He courts misery like a pig in mud.  He absolutely beats us in that department Mr McGregor!'

  'Your uncle, hey?  O yes old Lucien.  I remember.  He should be careful leaving so close to the Church like that,' said McGregor.  Those fields over there are haunted by the spirit of a lady dressed in black.  She is said to visit you in the night and steal your soul.  It is a true story Freddy.  Very true.  I know it now I am dead.  Now I am dead there are a lot and a lot of things I know that I didn't know when I had the flow of blood in me.  I am more educated in death than I ever was when I was breathing!  I don't want to scare you Freddy but I probably will when I tell you this next thing:  There are monsters out there, Freddy.  Real monsters - alien entities and other nasty things beyond that...'

  'O I can believe it,' Freddy replied and he wasn't joking.

  'There was this author back in the day, C.S Lewis he was called and he used to right all these mad littles stories about cosmic horrors from beyond the abyss.  He wrote about this monster that lived out in the oceans he called it Kassylulu...?'

  'NO, McGregor.  That is H.P Lovecraft you are actually talking about there.  And the monster was called Cthulhu.  I know, I have read one or two of his stories over the years,' said Freddy.

  'Ah!  That is it!  Lovecraft!  That's the man I am talking about.  Well let me tell you something now, Freddy boy, all those strange dark littles stories he wrote all of them were true!  Those monsters are really out there.  I have seen them.  There is this one called Shoggoth.  This thing is like a green pulsating mass of tentacles.  It's real, I have seen it!  And I have seen it tonight hovering around the place where you live, Freddy.  You need to be careful, my boy.  I think the thing is after you!  Watch what you do.  Be careful about what you drink and how much you drink.  There is a reason why the thing is there.  Don't be dragged into purgatory, Freddy.  Take it from a lost soul who is actually stuck in it right now it is not a pleasant place!'

  Freddy woke up the next day lying on the local park bench holding an empty bottle.

  He had blacked out.

  Lucky because of the goodness of the G-Juice he wasn't hungover at all, but he was feeling embarrassed about the empty bottle and tried at once to hide the thing.

  It was while he was carrying out this shameful act that a figure approached him.

  'I have just returned from an interesting meeting with Mr LA Thins.  He tells me that you are having money problems, Freddy?  If that is true then listen to me.  I am the man who can help you!  A few days ago I made you an offer of making money.  That offer is very much still open.  All you need to do is accept it.'

  It was Wuan.

  Freddy had not seen him in a while but he remembered the strange little man who worked in the gas station very well.

  'Alright, you are right.  I have got money problems.  BIG money problems.  If you think you can help me then fine I accept your offer!' Freddy replied holding his hand out.

  Wuan shook Freddy's hand.  'Your worries are over now Freddy,' Wuan said.  'I know I can help you,'  and then Wuan continued speaking in a monotone computer-like voice.  'Follow me and we will do business together and make lots and lots of money...'

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

There is a prequel to this story.  Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1

===========================================================

Also take a look at:

My Games
Play Give 'em Hell
Play Elfin Quest
Witches Brew a short text based adventure game!
Also take a look at:
My YouTube Channel
My Books

THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

The flight of sparrows!

The flight of sparrows...

Beauty is born out of darkness, and in beauty darkness sleeps...

And there are born the dreams of those who are not yet alive, kindling in the dews, the light and the blossoms, waiting for the first breath to take them up and then with them dance.  Here then is the thread, the paint, the ink, the letters from what life will weave, in time, their story will be ready for the writing.

You look at it.  It does not look at you, instead it speaks saying:  'We live in a world that is formed into and out of many layers - and in between the gaps, hidden between the lines of the the veil, the eyes of various nations are watching.'

For there is in all things that bow and flicker, where the sun does linger (and bows its thoughts,) the heaviness and weight of the human heart, and the flight of sparrows that do spring from it, anon into dreams, where the flight of all souls rest and dream.

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THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW

It Happens At Night 16: A Message From The Beyond... And Then Another!

The biggest and best problem with drinking G-Juice is that it delivered the goods, it got you real nice and drunk (possibly lozy!) AND you never got a whiff of a hangover the next day.  And that was the best bit about the problem, you just never knew when to stop drinking the stuff!  And that evening Freddy drank a lot of it...

  A lot a lot of a lot of a lot....

  I can write this now in the name of Freddy's defeated braincells he drank WAY TOO MUCH of the G-Juice - far too much for a natural human being to endure even one accustomed to a regular lozy session or two...

  An overdose of G-Juice - my gosh!  When this happens it is not a good place to be, even without the horrors of the hangover...  there is a price to pay for every droplet of joy drank - and nightmares to face when the days end drew nigh.

  Freddy had three false awakenings in his bedroom the next morning.

  And there was more!

  He had a whole conversation with his Dad, a man who had passed six years ago, wrote poetry with birds and invited Mr Badger round for a cup of tea.  And there was a tree suddenly growing in his living room that grew golden apples and it bloomed ALL day long!

  That was the nice part of the aftermath of his G-Juice bonanza...

  Now let us get to the bad bits...

  After the tree withered and disappeared into a beating heart Freddy was chased around the living room by a man with the head of a pig.

  He was also attacked by a giant wolfhound with red eyes.

  And there was a dragon in the backyard, apparently...

  Freddy decided after a while it would be for the best for him to go back to bed and sleep off the nasty aftereffects of his drinking binge. 

  There was a man in a dark suite standing in the corner of his bedroom.

  'You need to stop drinking that stuff, Freddy.  You know what I mean?' he said.  

  'Get out of my room or I will call the police!' said Freddy angrily.

  'The police won't help you.'

  'I know!  They never do.'

  'I am being serious,' said the man in the dark suite.  'You are not in your bedroom right now Freddy.  It might look like you are, but really you aren't.  We are in the astral plain right now.  Tomorrow you will wake up back in the physical world.  You will get a second chance to live out your 'normal' life.  You don't understand the dreaded power of the G-Juice.  Perhaps you do know - if only a little bit!  Drink deeply and badly like that again and you will be staying with us in the astral plain for an eternity or two.  You have been warned, Freddy boy.  Watch your drinking!  Now go back to bed and sleep.  You will have more nightmares, but at least you will know what to do to safeguard yourself from us in the future.  We entities from the plain of the beyond are not fools to be fooled with.'

  The man in the black suit vanished, and Freddy woke up in his bed for real.

Bolly's solicitor turned up the next day.

  Bolly wanted a quick divorce, a very quick divorce indeed stating that she could not stay married to so a weak man as Freddy for a single day longer.

  The papers were all set and ready for Freddy to sign and the two year marriage would be done and dusted.

  Freddy was sad about the business.  But he knew in his heart it was for the best to end the relationship.  All Freddy wanted out of life was to make Bolly happy, and he knew a divorce was the way to her heart.  If she wanted a quick (hasty rather!) end to the marriage then that was what she was going to get.  She also wanted Freddy's old flat as well and insisted he post her the keys to it.

  Well, what Bolly wants Bolly gets, and Freddy willingly signed the papers and posted his former wife the keys.  

  Freddy was officially single.

  The funny thing was that being single felt absolutely no different from being married.

  O my how miserable he felt!

  Freddy felt like a mop that had been dunked in a puddle of dank and very dirty water and then dragged across the floor.  He felt bad.

  Ordinarily on such an occasion Freddy would of had a drink of something strong, but after surviving the nightmares of the previous night he decided not to do that but instead spent the rest of the day depressed watching rubbish on television.

  "Well it's not that bad," he tried to cope.  "At least I have got my own business, a decent income, and I have some good friends looking out for me."

  There was one big thing Freddy never learned in his lifetime and that was to never test the universe!  NEVER DO THAT!  Whenever you relax and start to feel good about something that is when the universe will decide it has another trick up its sleeve to bring you down...  And that is exactly what happened the next day - the universe had another trick to play!

  Freddy decided to go for a walk the next morning and that was when two good sized lads jumped him from a street corner.  Placing a bag over his head they dragged him into the boot of a car and drove him away...  somewhere...

  "Abducting twice in one week!  That must surely be a record somewhere," thought Freddy as he was being driven along.

  Finally the car stopped and Freddy was scooped out of the vehicle and carried outside.  After that he was carried for quite a long time.  He heard a door being closed.  

  Now he was in a building, he could tell the winds had fallen quiet.

  But it was still very cold...

  Finally his captors decided to unmask him, and when Freddy opened his eyes he beheld a sight that made him wish he was no longer alive!

  For sitting behind a desk on the opposite side of the room was a familiar and very dreadful face - it was nonother than Corta Boa Almoço!  Except he was fatter... and had a beard and longer hair and hang on!  How does that work?  How does a dead and buried man put on weight and grow a new hairstyle?  Something was definitely amiss for sure, and Freddy, at the point of having a complete shutdown, or a heart attack if you prefer, just didn't know what to make of it.  

  What was happening?

  This was pure unfiltered madness!

  Was Freddy still trapped inside that horrible G-Juice fuelled fever dream?

  Nothing made sense not until the man explained that he was Corta's brother, Tonto Almoço!

  Freddy was handcuffed to a metal chair and at gunpoint ordered to talk!

  Freddy asked what his captors wanted him to talk about - he was so confused at that moment in his life.

  Confused and terrified of course!

  'Tell me everything!' said Tonto.

  'Everything about what?' said Freddy.

  'The business that went on between you and my beloved brother Corta,' said Tonto.

  'There was no business between us!'

  'You were seen talking together many times,' Tonto replied.

  'That was just casual chitchat between one man and another...  Honestly!  I didn't really know your brother not at all!'

  'But I heard that he had a full-blown affair with your wife?'

  'O that!  Bolly and I are recently (about eight hours ago precise) divorced.  It is an old affair and quite forgotten about I assure you!'

  'My brother has disappeared.  Nobody can find him!'

  'Really?  Disappeared you say?  Well that is sad to hear.  Poor Corta!  He was such a …  well he was such a lovely man.  Salt of the earth.  I hope you find him one day alive and well!'

  Freddy was being badly pressed and he was running out of lies.  He was growing deeply desperate.  It was out of pure desperation that he made this next silly and very sloppy speech:

  'Please listen to me Mr Tonto... sir!  Please!  I beg you!  I am a nice guy.  I am not involved with the gangs.  I am just a really good man.  I don't know what happened to your brother I really don't!  Please don't hurt me!'

  'I am actually not interested in what happened to my brother,' said Tonto.

  'Not interested?  O!  O that is wonderful!  Thank goodness for that!  So why am I here all chained up to this chair like this?  Forgive me for feeling somewhat confused and very frightened.  Maybe you have confused me for another man?'

  'There has been no confusion,' said Tonto grimly.

  Freddy's spirits continued to sink even further into the depths of his feet.  

  What was this madness all about then?

  Tonto was about to explain:

  'Since my brother went missing I have taken over the business,' he said.  'I have spent all morning looking through the papers.  There is a lot that has been said about you Freddy.'

  'O dear,' Freddy replied nervously.  'I bet it is all good stuff, right?'

  'I am not interested in your personal affairs with my brother.  But I am interested in your debt.'

  'It is really not that interesting,' Freddy replied.  
  'O it is very interesting...  and gaining in interest every day!  You see my brother bought your debt, and  now it is my job to manage that debt.  So you owe me, let me see how much it is right now...  O here we are!' said Tonto thumbing the papers, 'you owe me thirty five thousand pounds.'

  ???????

  WHAT?

  'Is this a joke?' Freddy cried.

  'If it were a joke you wouldn't be wearing handcuffs right now,' said Tonto coldly.  'You can keep the cuffs if you like.  You can stay strapped to the chair until you rot as well.  But I suggest you just pay your debt instead.'

  'You know what I am going to say next, right?  I just don't have that sort of money on me...'

  'Then you need to find a way to see about finding that sort of money, Freddy.  I will give you three weeks and then I am sending my boys over to collect!'

  'Three weeks?  I was thinking more like three years!'

  'Three weeks Freddy.  That is how much time I am giving you.  If I see no bills sitting on my table then we will meet again just like this, cuffs and all.  And maybe a chainsaw...  Or a led pipe.  Depends on my mood.  Now get lost and find my money!  And as you are going about your business you can tell your friends The Kings that the war is far from over.  Tonto is in charge of things now.  The Brazilians are back and we will not stop not until we have had revenge for the past outrages levied against us!'

  Freddy was uncuffed, put back in the car and driven out somewhere. Eventually the car stopped and Freddy was dropped out on the side of the road.  It took Freddy hours to walk back home again.

  And as he walked he thought:

  "Talk about out of the frying pan into the fire!  How do I keep wandering from one mess into another.  Maybe I should go back to the UK... no... my debtors will be waiting for me there as well.  But how am I going to raise thirty... what was it again?  THIRTY FIVE GRAND!?"

  There was no feasible way he could get such business done. No bank on planet Earth would lend him such a ridiculous sum.  

  But Freddy did have one remaining resource.  He had friends - powerful friends.  Good allies.

  Maybe they could somehow help him...  Lend him a loan...

  Maybe.

  MAYBE.  

  "Come on Universe!  You owe me a break!"

(Remember!  All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

There is a prequel to this story.  Check the link below if you would like to read it: Jim's Subway part 1

===========================================================

Also take a look at:

My Games
Play Give 'em Hell
Play Elfin Quest
Witches Brew a short text based adventure game!
Also take a look at:
My YouTube Channel
My Books

THE LEGEND OF RUDWIN REVIEW