Freddy was invited around the Kings place where drinks had been drawn up, and there was a good feeling in the air. There appeared to something of a party going on and the Kings had invited guests over including a certain Mr Wuan - who Freddy had not seen in a while. In fact Freddy had quite forgotten that Mr Wuan ever existed!
Wuan had brought over a couple of bottles of wine and was showing them off to everybody who cared. 'I enjoy collecting these,' he said. He was showing the wine bottles of one after the other. And when he was done doing that he got everyone onto the topic of whiskey.
'Now this is a subject I am deeply interested in,' spoke up Frank. 'I love whiskey - drinking it that is! But go on, Mr Wuan. I am finding this topic very fascinating! You know so much about spirits and it is just wonderful to listen to!'
'Thank you Mr King,' Wuan replied pleasantly. 'Now let us talk about whiskey. You have your Irish whiskeys and your Scotch and the Bourbon of course, but for me you cannot beat a good little bottle of cockney!'
'Ah yes!' Mr King returned with a sparkle in his eye. 'We all like a bit of Pony and Trap in this family!'
'A fine choice of drink,' said Wuan. 'Do you know what makes cockney spirits so special? They use corks in their bottles. It is the only corked whiskey in the world!'
'That doesn't make sense?' said Frank. 'I thought corks spoilt spirits, made the drink taste of cardboard?'
'A legend I am going to prove wrong today,' Wuan replied. Wuan uncorked his bottle of cockney and poured his friends a little of it. 'Taste the goodness of that!'
'My gosh! That truly is a Pony and Trap!' said Frank with amazement. 'Maybe the best one I have ever had!'
'I am glad you enjoyed it. Now let me show you something very special! Take a look at this beauty! Maybe the best in my collection!' That was when Wuan brought out a box. Opening it showed a bottle within filled to the brim with a pretty looking purple liquid. What was this? It was not wine, Wuan assured them. This drink was something far better than that!
The Kings knew what the drink was! Why this was here business! When Frank saw that bottle for the first time he shot up in surprise and beside him his fat little brother Vincent almost fell out of his wheelchair!
'Purple G-Juice!' Frank exclaimed. 'But there is said to have only ever been three of these ever made?'
'And I have one of them!' Wuan replied in a jolly voice. 'And I want you to have it, Mr King! It is a gift to honour our friendship!'
'Why this is a very fine gift,' said Frank shaking his head with amazement. 'You and I are going to be good friends, Mr Wuan. I might be interested in putting some business your way someday?'
'I would be delighted to do business with the Kings,' said Wuan.
Frank took the purple bottle out of the box and placed it on one of his mantelpieces. 'I shall treasure this,' he said.
'So what is so special about the purple G-Juice?' said Freddy. He was honestly interested to know more about it.
'You deserve a good hard punch in the face saying something so stupid!' said Frank angrily. The great man did not appreciate Freddy's ignorance!
Freddy backed down.
'Okay. I am sorry...I was only interested. This business is new to me that's all,' said Freddy in a weak and wobbly voice.
'It is said that the purple stuff gives you the best high,' Vincent explained. 'Those who drink from the purple juice are said to receive visions at night, and awake the next day reborn with genius capabilities. I knew a homeless illiterate man who drank some of the purple stuff once. He woke up the next day a gifted philosopher and programming mastermind. There is a rumour going about that he helped develop the iPhone, changing the world forever.'
'Good lord!' Freddy exclaimed.
It was unbelievable!
'They stopped distilling the stuff in the early two thousands when scientists finally realised its potency,' Frank took over the story. 'They figured out together that a world full of geniuses might be a dangerous place, they might end up building a bomb or something and so the purple drink was banned globally and universally.'
'Why universally?'
'It was a safety measure to ensure nobody tried distilling the drink on the moon, or a nearby planet like Saturn,' said Frank.
'Saturn?' Freddy was highly confused.
'Yes, Saturn, you know the planet with the ring around it? It's not a planet apparently. According to one man I met long ago Saturn is a giant prison ran by lizard men,' said Frank.
'Right. Okay. Lizard men. Yes. Makes sense. I see lizard men all the time. I think my wife Bolly might be a lizard lady in disguise...'
'Don't joke about things like that or I really will have to slap you down!' bellowed Frank. As he threatened Freddy he started clicking his knuckles. Frank had a bit of a bad temper about him, and Freddy was going to have to choose his words carefully when in the presence of the great man.
As Frank and his brother Vincent started necking some more whiskey, Wuan took Freddy into a separate room. He needed a word with him in private.
'Have you thought anymore about the offer I made you?' said Wuan. 'Look at you! You are right in the Kings throne room! You have their ear and access to their resources...'
'What do you want me to do?'
'The kings are always holding fancy parties like this on the weekends, drinking whiskeys and wines. When the parties are over I want you to collect and bring to me all of the empty bottles and the corks as well! I have got a plan and I know it will work. I am going to make a lot of money out of the Kings, but I cannot do it without your help. I have the tools but I do not have access to the materials. But you do, Freddy. So what say you? Will you help me. Will you be my business partner?'
'I can't betray the kings. They are taking care of me,' Freddy replied humbly.
'You won't be betraying them, Freddy! It is just a couple of empty bottles! Bring them to me! Think about it. I will make it worth your while. When you have made up your mind you know where to find me, in the shop across the road from where you delightful uncle lives.'
'I know where to find you,' said Freddy. 'Let me see how things go. Right now things are good for me. I don't want to mess everything up. But who knows? Maybe life will change, it always does. And if it does, then you might find me on your door with a couple of empty bottles at the ready.'
Wuan was delighted!
'Marvellous!' he said, and with that the little polite man left the building.
After Freddy was good and drunk on whiskey he collapsed onto one of the sofas and fell asleep.
When he woke up all the guests were gone, and there was nothing but empty glass on the tables and the smell of cigarette smoke and rye dominated the air.
Freddy had drunken too much and he felt utterly disgusting.
Hopefully the Kings will let me sleep on their sofa for the rest of the day!
As Freddy was about to drop back into sleep Frank King himself turned up and asked if Freddy could follow him. He gave Freddy a full glass of whiskey saying, 'Hair of the dog and all that. I need you to have your wits about you, Freddy! We are going to have a very serious talk today you and I.'
Sounded ominous!
What was going to happen now?
Freddy gulped the whiskey down to calm his nerves. He was frightened something nasty was going to happen. Something nasty was always happening in his life! Maybe Frank's psychotic little brother had killed someone? "Anything could be going on! The world is just so mad these days!" thought Freddy.
Frank led Freddy down into one of the rooms hidden in the lower portions of the tower-block.
'There is something in this room I want you to see,' said Frank. 'The door is unlocked. I want you to open it and go in first.'
'I am afraid Frank!'
'Good. Fear keeps a man sharp!'
'It doesn't keep this man sharp. Fear just makes me all wobbly and useless!'
'Listen to me, Freddy. I know everything about you. I did not get to where I am today by being an idiot! I have done my research and I know that you are not an accountant! You are a grave digger! Now normally I would hand a creep like you over to the police. But strangely enough at this very moment I have need of a man with your certain talents!' said Frank.
'I don't understand you?'
'Open the door and you will,' said Frank.
And so Freddy did it.
He opened the door and went in.
Inside the room there was a full dead body splayed out over a table!
(NOTE: "WHY was Freddy not shocked or even mildly surprised to see a dead body????? Because he is (or was) a grave digger!")
After a look or two Freddy started to recognise the corpse...
It was the young man he had seen the other day - it was Jack! So the Kings had the man killed him after all!
Realising that he was in bed with murderers Freddy's conscious left him with no other choice other than to simply collapse into a huddle on the floor! It took another good sized gulp of whiskey to revive him and get him back up in his feet again!
'We had to kill him,' said Frank in a casual way. 'We are at war! The King empire is a war machine. One loose cog in that machine and the whole thing comes tumbling down. Jack was that loose cog. People die on the streets of Fenwick every day it is just the sad way of things in this unhappy town. The gangs slaughter their enemies. We have to show strength or they will slaughter us instead. This idiot dead on the table here let loose our secrets in the middle of a party! I cannot allow this to go unchecked! Any of our enemies could have been listening in at the time. The Irish and the Brazilians have their agents positioned everywhere! Jack knew too much about our operation. If the man could have found a way to manage his tongue more correctly he would be standing right now. But he could not do that, so he had to pay. It was the only way. That is how the wars go in Fenwick, Freddy. So I say this is a nasty town. We have to fight every day to stay alive.'
'All right. So you killed him. Fine. But what do you want me to do about it? Why show me this? I don't understand your angle?'
'You dig up bodies, right? Well now I want you to bury them! You take care of me, Freddy and I will take care of you,' said Frank. 'Now this is the plan and it is all setup ready to go all you have to do is say yes and keep your head down and stay quiet. Got it? Good! Now listen to this. I am going to set you up with your own funeral service business! That's right! You are going to be a professional undertaker. It has all been taken care of. I bought a new property the other day. You are going to setup shop there. Get yourself a new clean suit. A clean one not that dirty thing you are wearing now! There is a flat at the top of the office where you will work. That is where you are going to live from now on. Here is a new phone take it. When it rings you answer it right away no messing about. Keep the phone on you at all times! It will be me letting you know I am sending some business your way. When everything is set and you are ready to take action I want you to find a nice place to bury our boy Jack here. You need to buckle up, Freddy. There is a war going on and you are going to be up to your neck in business, if you understand my meaning? So what do you say? Are you ready to work with me?'
Freddy was terrified! He was stuck in a nasty mess. The Kings were violent bloody men and he didn't know how he ever ended up being mixed in with them. Part of Freddy screamed NO inside of his head. This is wrong. This is bad. This is evil!
But Freddy was weak and he liked the idea of running his own business and making some money for a change.
So he shook Franks hand. 'I will do it,' he said.
'You will need help,' said Frank.
'Of course,' Freddy replied.
Frank introduced Freddy to his help.
It was none other than his crafty and wily Uncle Lucien!
Now how did that devil end up getting involved with the Kings?
Something deeply disturbing was going on and Freddy felt like he was standing on the tip of a massive iceberg known as bergy strange!
'You need to explain yourself!' said Freddy angrily to his uncle.
Frank stepped up between them and told Freddy to calm down. 'I hired Lucien because you already have a business relationship with this man,' said Frank. 'I know you two worked together in the grave digging business and I thought he was the best partner to help you in the work ahead. You need to work with someone who you know and who you can trust!'
'I don't know if I trust this man,' said Freddy coldly.
'Don't be foolish! He is your uncle,' said Frank.
'That's what worries me...'
Freddy was ready to start a good long argument with his uncle, but unfortunately he would not be given the chance.
Something dramatic happened out of nowhere!
Vincent came wheeling in from out of nowhere - he looked hot and bothered and had a dark look in his eyes.
This is what he said:
'The Brazilians launched an attack this morning! They burned the Scotch pub down! McGregor has been killed!'
When Frank heard this dreadful news you could tell that he was mad and sad, but he did not say anything right away. He just stood there, clenching his fists.
'Something has to be done about this,' said Vincent. 'We can't let them go about killing our boys! McGregor was a war hero! He was blood - A King! Justice demands that we avenge him right here and right now. I have got a gun. I will take it with me. I will ride out and slaughter them all! I will find Corta Almoço and I will slay him with my own hands. I will maw him like a dog! I will run him over with my wheelchair! Just let me have at him! Tarnations! We cannot stand for this - I mean I can't stand literally I am dead from the waste down but you know what I mean?'
'I know what you mean,' said Frank who was tryring to stay calm in the situation. 'And you are right, little brother. We must avenge McGregor, and we will. This war used to be about business. Now it is personal. Let us go to the office and make plans.'
'Yes. I will phone the Italians. We need all the muscle we can get,' said Vincent.
'Do it. Our enemies burn down our pub and so we will burn down their homes. They will not win this,' said Frank menacingly.
Then Frank turned to Freddy.
He had instructions for the weak and wobbly man.
'While I am fighting the war I need you to start on the funeral business,' he told him. 'I need you to bury this dead man Jack. Do it now before he starts to smell. Be happy, Freddy! This war is going to be bad for a lot of people, but not for you! This war is going to make you rich!'
(Remember! All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)
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