SWW Productions: January 2023

With their masks adorned Jim and Jo set out into the streets.

The hair and the pig. What an uncanny, unpleasant pair they made as they went forth. If people saw them they made sure to move in the other direction and keep out of the way. It wasn't Halloween yet and even if it was nobody wanted anything to do with those two weirdos!

As they entered the hotel at the end of the streets the owner, Mr Rits, greeted them warmly.

They asked him whether he had a bar, and he told them that he did and showed them the way through to it.

Mr Rits seemed very happy to have new customers, very talkative, and didn't seem to be in the least bit perturbed by the frightening costumes Jim and Jo were wearing at the time. In fact he never made a comment on the masks, and immediately started to talk about his own private life:

'Here is some advice from an old man to a young man: Never get married! Worst mistake you could make. You will spent the first half of your life trying to get her and then the next half of your life chasing after her and keeping her out of the hands of other men. Well, that's been my experience anyway. Maybe I was just born with bad luck. Well, whatever. Things will change once I have started my Cotton business in Florida. My business will do well, and I won't let any of the alligators stop me! No sir. I will wrestle them with my own bare hands if needs be!

'Now please, sirs, forgive my infernal waffling! Can I get you two fine animals anything to drink? No? How about something to eat. We cook a very fine Plumbers Pie. You have never heard of our renown Plumbers Pie? It's like Cottage Pie and Shepherd's Pie only we add ingredients of both pies as well as a selection of mushrooms that grow in the pipes down at the back near the train station. Marvellous mushrooms with a very earthy flavour, and very popular with the locals? So sirs, isn't there anything at all that I can tempt you with inside these humble walls of mine?'

'Thank you but we are not interested in food or drink or anything like that,' Jim replied.

Upon hearing this Mr Rits shrugged his bulky shoulders, for he was a heavy looking fellow Jim wondered whether or not if the landlord was really a large shaved gorilla endowed with the abilities of human speech, and then he asked what they wanted.

'We are looking for our friend we have it from good authority that he is lodged in your fine establishment,' Jim replied.

Mr Rits looked confused and started scratching his head, but just before things became awkward Ivan arrived finally on the scene. 'It's alright,' he said aloud. 'I know these gentlemen they are with me.'

'Well that is a fine thing indeed,' Mr Rits returned. 'Ah! Here we all are! Friends together. And I am safe in presuming tat you are all single men?'

'We are,' said Ivan. 'And may it remain that way.'

'Hearing you say that fires up the desire in me to pour you a drink on the house,' Mr Rits replied. 'I don't like funny business here in my home. It's my wife, you see. She is rather loose and friendly with the guests, especially those of the male variety. I have already had a problem this week, where some young rascal staying here in my home tried to take her off my hands. No respect for the values of marriage, utterly dreadful. Caused me a great deal of stress the whole situation.'

'Have no worries Mr Rits,' Ivan replied. 'My friends and I have every intention on keeping our hands to ourselves tonight. There will be no, as you put it, funny business taking place. Not on my watch. Now as pleasant as this conversation is might my friends and I have your permission to take our leave? We have important things to talk about you see?'

'Why yes of course my house is your house,' said mr Rits. The shift landlord whipped his sweaty brow with a dishcloth and looked Jim and Jo up and down one last time and before disappearing into the kitchen said: 'You are quite welcome inside so long as you keep your distance from my wife. If I should ever find you in the same room as her it will end badly, for all of you. Rest assured! I keep a sharp knife in the back!The last fellow who crossed me would tell you all about it if he could!'

Ivan hurriedly bade his companions to follow him to the one side of the hall, and after that he led them both up stairs to his quarters. He unlocked upon and then closed the door behind them. Finally they were alone and could talk in privacy.

Now Ivan had converted his room in the Rits into his own private laboratory... There was a desk, with lots of pipes, tubes and jars, and a strange metal cylindrical contraption that was busy heaving out steam like a kettle at that time. Jim watched the contraption as it started to finally cool down, and then it started foaming at its opening on the top.

Ivan asked his companions if they were or not impressed by his industry. 'Look what I have done here,' he said. 'All my work is here inside this one room. So long as I can keep Mr Rits sweet I can keep my operation going here for as long as it takes.'

Jim asked Ivan if it was legal for him to carry out this mad business inside a building that belonged to other people.

Ivan responded:

'I don't know. I carried out my work and just kept quiet about it. I moved my furniture in little by little over the course of three days. No one has said anything so far. So I can take that as an indication that we are good to proceed with this business to the end.'

'Have you made any G-Juice yet?'

'Patience,' Ivan replied. 'I am on the cusp of producing a new batch based on an updated recipe. I think you will be very happy with the results when I am finished.'

Jim and Jo began to jump like giddy children! It was almost embarrassing to see, but they were so desperate for a drink that at that moment in time it was the only thing they lived for!

'I must admit I like your masks,' said Ivan. 'They suit you! I must say I do prefer the company of the Hare and the Pig than the Jim and Jo! Keep the masks on and keep them with you! I think they will still prove useful in the times to come. remember, you have made a lot of enemies since your arrival in Fenwick. Even the police have their eye on you. I watched you enter the shop after we departed and I saw DC Peddler. He was standing in a bush, not doing a very good job of hiding, but I know he was watching you. That man wants you both locked up! I disguise will be good for the both of you going forth with this business!'

Then Ivan clapped his with triumph. The foam around the metal cylinder had dripped into a glass beaker and condensed into a bright green liquid. 'Here is our first glass of the new G-Juice,' he said. 'Who wants to be the first to drink it!'

Jim and Jo volunteered at the same time.

'Jim can go first but worry not Jo I am brewing some more,' said Ivan. 'I hope to fill this container by the end of the day,' and he showed them a large plastic tub that someone might have been able to have a bath in.

Without thoughts of hygiene, or questioning what ingredients might have gone into the new batch of G-Juice, Ivan grabbed the glass beaker and glugged the contents down his throat in one go!

Even Ivan was impressed.

'That tastes flipping great!' Jim then cried with joy. Already the juice was pulsating through his arms legs and brain. He started jumping around the room laughing.

Jo could only stand back and watch and feel very jealous. But it would not be long before the foam was flowing out into the next beaker, and slowly dripping down the side of the glass and transforming into a green ooze!

It was exciting to see!

They finally had what they were looking for, a constant supply of G-Juice, and the company of the man who knew how to make it! It was a dream come true indeed!

Soon the two men had drunk their share of G-Juice were both in full party mode.

'Thank you Ivan!' said Jim. 'This is the beginning of a great adventure! An adventure in G-Juice! I cannot wait!' He slapped Ivan on his right shoulder and started laughing. 'You have made Jo and I both happy men! You are a lifesaver! Never stop brewing the Juice and fine fellow! Never stop the magic! Damn I love the Rits, and I love Fenwick! The police might want to lock me up but my life has never been so good! Even if I could go back home to that wretched apartment and to that stinking job I don't think I would go back. I am happy here in this town. Look at this! Why Would I go back? I am in fine company and with fine drink.'

'These are good times!' Jo replied.

'And the good times have only started,' said Ivan. 'This is only the beginning! One last drink now for the both of you, and tomorrow we discuss business.'

To business! - Jo and Jim cried in unison. It was all so wonderful, and then they both collapsed in a stupor!

Ivan, however, as sober as judge, returned to his contraption and started the brewing of more juice.

Soon the bathtub at his side was brimming with the green liquid. 'Time to start bottling the stuff,' he said aloud. 'But I will let my sleeping companions do that when they finally awake. Might as well make them useful now they are here. And then I can put my plans into motion.'

(All spelling errors and grammatical mistakes are intentional - the author 😆)

Previous part here

===========================================================

Also take a look at:
My Games
Play Give 'em Hell
Play Elfin Quest
Witches Brew a short text based adventure game!
Also take a look at:
My YouTube Channel
My Books

Friday, 27 January 2023

The 7th Guest Review : Retro-Memories

Wednesday, 18 January 2023

Simon the Sorcerer Review : Retro-Memories

Monday, 9 January 2023

Pac-Man arcade 1UP Legacy Edition Review

Tuesday, 3 January 2023

Jim's Subway 16 : Men in masks get drunk