These were strange times even for strange folk...
But for Mr Pots it was just another ordinary day.
Inside the local shop, where the old rabbit worked, there were lots of useful and unuseful things to buy and borrow - including badger glue, wheels for toys cars, cushions for mice, stuff fish and glass eyes.
When mr Pots entered the shop the rabbit greeted him with joy im his voice a mighty spring in his step.
'Why bless my whiskers and the hair on my toes! If it isn't my old boy Mr Pots!'
Mr Pot's said hello and then adjusted his jacket. 'Now listen to me rabbit,' he said. 'I don't suppose you still sell any of those empty matchstick boxes? I need one to balance on my head. It helps me to stand straight.'
'I am sorry dear Mr Pots,' said Rabbit. 'We sold the last matchstick box to Mr Peacock. He said he needed it to fill his pockets. Puffy pockets make one look wealthy, he said. And it is important to look wealthy when you are a peacock, it means that if you are going to get robbed you will be done by the right people.'
'How can you be robbed by the right people?' said Mr Pots.
Being robbed sounded like an all round bad business and it didn't make sense to him that any good could come of it.
'Well some robbers are only interested in the art of selling people - and Mr Peacock is hoping to get a free trip to Angola, where a few of his relatives live. It's that time of year, you know, getting up to Christmas, and travelling is expensive.'
'O I see,' said Mr Pots. 'Okay then. So you don't have any empty matchstick boxes. Okay. Well that's me bubbled for the evening! HOw will I ever be able to walk straight this evening? I said I was meeting up with my old friend Mr Frog. We like to take a good pony and trap together on a Friday evening. Get's the blood moving, you know? That's what he says, my good friend Frog, a good pony and trap a day makes you work rest and doodle nursery rhymes on paper. But ah well. Let me think a bit. DO you, mehap, sell any empty salt and pepper jars? I like to make use of empty jars. I wear them on my feet when I at home. They help keep the air fresh around my feet and work far better than slippers and socks. That's old school that is, slippers and socks!'
'Kippers and locks more like!' said rabbit. 'I both hear and understand you, Mr Pots! I too like to wear jars on my feet, and sometimes I put them on my ears, and if I am in a really good mood I stick one on my head. I love wearing jars. They will be a new fashion one day when all and sundry will go round wearing jars. I can't wait.'
'Neither can I,' said Mr Pots. 'It will be a good day when men wear jars on their heads! Helps keeps the balance, you see, and balance is important when you are taking a pony and trap with a friend.'
'I hear you again,' rabbot replied, then he leaned on his desk, totally forgetting how wonky the thing was, and fell on his face.
Rabbit got up, dusted himself down and said, 'We are out of jars I am afraid Mr Pots. Sold the last one to Mr Elephant, who likes to rest his trunk in one. Bless him.'
'What a darn shame,' said Mr Pots. 'No match stick boxes no jars! What do you sell here in this wretched shop?'
'Badger glue and strips of wood. Not much for you, but there is a matter you could help me with mr Pots if you were willing.'
'O aye?' Mr Pots replied.
He was always willing to help a friend in need.
'There's a old drain pipe in the back room. I think there is something stuck up it, and blocking the water. If you could check for me that would be great. I can't give you any money but I can give you a second hand tea bag.'
'Sounds good to me,' said mr Pots.
So Mr Pots walked into the back room and had a look about. He found the pipe rabbit was talking about, and he didn't even have to turn the light on!
He then knocked the pipe open in between the joints and stuck his hand right up inside.
'O I think there is something there,' he said, after feeling about for a bit. 'But bless me my hand is stuck! I can't get the thing out!'
'O dear,' said rabbit. 'I don't suppose you can take it off - your hand I mean.'
'Afraid not old chap,' Mr Pots replied.
'Well this is a trouble,' said the rabbit. 'I know! I will make us some tea and afterwards we will think about what to do with your dratted hand!'
'Now that's a plan,' said Mr Pots.
So rabbit returned with some tea, and he helped Mr Pots to drink it my teaping the cup down his spout.
After their refreshment they decided it was time to think about what they were going to do about Mr Pots hand...
'Hang on a minute,' said Mr Pots. 'I think I can pull it out now! I think that cup of tea did the trick! It helped warm the old pipe up!'
'Ah well you see I always knew I was good for something,' said the rabbit.
'I think I can feel something as well,' said mr Pots. 'Hang on there! I am going to try and pull it out.'
Pots pulled and pulled, and finally, after much work, pulled out a great big fat old cow!
'Ah that's my old friend Daisy Moonmilker,' said rabbit. 'I wondered where she got too. Bless me soul! She been blocking up the pipes all this time!'
It would of been a time for celebration, only after the fat cow popped the whole shop became flooded with nine days of rain water!
The rabbit was scratching his head when Mr Pot's said, 'Blimey I'm wet up to my waistcoat!'
The cow moed and said, 'I don't suppose anyones got a boat?'
A boat hey? Now, thought the rabbit, what a fine thing that would be to sell the next time he opened his shop. He made a promise to himself that next year he was going to buy one!
THE END
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